To be upset about Christmas?

[Tooomanytimes]

I had invited my parents to come to our house for Christmas, which they had said yes to. Last night my dad rang and told me they'd decided to have Christmas Day at their house instead, and are inviting my brother and family, but they assume one my my children would want to stay at home to play with their toys and made it clear we are not invited!
AIBU to be upset?

Of note my parents are elderly and will find coming to our house slightly difficult, but nowhere near as difficult as them hosting Christmas themselves.
I feel I'm in an impossible situation now - express how upset I am and get told I'm difficult, or put up with it and somehow try to get over it so there isn't an atmosphere next time I see them.
I'm not sure how much I can respond to the thread today, but would welcome some perspective on this, thanks

My parents did this and now we have Christmas Day to ourselves. And I actually quite like it now days. I will never invite them again to Christmas due to the excuses they made and I’m slighlty petty.

It was really hurtful and I cried on the Christmas in question. I promised I would never get upset over it again hence never inviting them again. They are the ones missing out, we have a lovely relaxed day eating yummy food not hosting anyone.

Ah yeah, you have a right to be upset considering they'd already accepted your invitation, it's one thing for them to change their minds and wanting to stay home but to then invite your other sibling and not you is mean

I'd play stupid and invite myself.

"No, don't be silly - Jemima can bring her fave toys with her! It'll be great having everyone together. What time should we arrive?"

I'd ask is there a reason why you've refused our invite, but invited bro + family and not us? Have we done something to upset you?

Exactly this, when you do go and visit, do they ask for your help with tasks etc and general things to do? When your DM was in hospital and you were running about helping them, did they ask your brother as well?

You invited your parents to spend Christmas with you, they accepted, and you were looking forward to it. Now they've cancelled for a better/different offer. It's completely natural that you are upset.
You say you are seeing them soon. The subject of Christmas is bound to come up and I think it's reasonable for you to be honest and explain that you are upset by the change of plans. Get it off your chest in a calm controlled conversation.
Then, if I'm honest, I'd let it go and not hold a grudge. You'll still enjoy Christmas, you'll presumably still see them around the time, don't let this one incident be a cloud over you.

I think in this sort of situation honesty is best . Tell them you wanted to spend Christmas with them nd you feel upset they accepted and then changed their mind without as much as a invite .

I developed a standard phrase 'oh that's a shame, we were looking forward to it but it's up to you' with my mum would cancel if she decided that she didn't want any fuss, wanted to be left alone. Partly it was the effort of being somewhere else (I don't feel comfortable in other people's homes - she would say). Partly she wanted to be begged and then be a bit of a martyr about being on her own.

Write it off now in your head. Start planning your own lovely family Christmas. Don't mention them changing their mind when you go to see them. Follow your instincts, stay silent. If they mention it - as in 'we are doing you a favour by letting your kids play with their toys'. Smile, use the line up top and change the subject. Nearer the time when they start moaning about the shopping, cooking and work again change the subject don't get dragged down family bicker alley when you want on to stay on easy Street.

If they start suggesting you meet them on days you have made other plans, refuse to change, you made your plans when you thought they were coming over.

I think their decision is not about choosing your brother over you. It's probably, the fact they can stay at home, your mum can stay in control of she doesn't like change.

Best of luck OP.

I'd have to speak to them about it. You deserve an explanation at least.

The thing is if op mentions it negatives SHE will be blamed for ruining their Christmas .. Let her go to db's with best wishes. When she gets no other response from you she can spend her Xmas day stewing... Whilst you enjoy YOUR Christmas..
Be less available moving forward op.
Db can wear the arse wiping glove should they need one...

I think this is one of those parallel universe things where in my world cheese is just another food (so I can't understand why if all the other foods were allowed to be eaten the cheese couldn't) and Mumsnet world is a strange parallel one where cheese is apparently a special gold plated marvel 🤣

Sorry wrong thread. Ignore me.