To be upset re: class WhatsApp group!

[Ano18]

I can’t believe I am writing this as it seems very trivial but if I’m honest it’s upsetting me a lot. My child’s class has a WhatsApp group for parents. Every time I post a question I never get a response, people post the same question and get lots of responses. I have posted asking about for example if anyone know what time homework club runs till, no response, another mum asks and gets tons of responses within minutes! There’s loads of banter on there but silence whenever I ask a question. It’s getting me really down if I’m honest to the point I get anxiety about even thinking of asking anything on there.

If people are constantly ignoring you, can you just mute the GC or leave it? This sort of thing would bother me too but I think I’d just have to act as if the group doesn’t exist. Very rude for people to be ignoring you constantly but can be quick to respond when someone else has said the same bloody thing!

I have a WhatsApp group like this. I just ask the question a different time when the chat it quieter.

I really don’t think it’s personal people are just busy and rather than say they don’t know it’s easier not to reply.

Are you closer to anyone individually in the group? Could you ask them directly?

Do you personally know any of them? If not, they may not want to respond.

Or, could your child be the reason? One parent on our group posts to complain about her child is singled out for their behaviour by the teacher and he’s ‘just a boy’ etc. Nobody responds because it’s our children on the receiving end of his behaviour.

If uyt either of those things, I have no idea! But WhatsApp groups are the work of the devil

I would just come off the group or text someone you are friendly with directly

I would feel a bit rubbish if I kept getting ignored for stuff others get support for

Thank you all. No I’ve never complained. It’s just been generic questions like what time does homework club finish, or does anyone know what day the maths challenge is. It’s been very general questions. I have texted couple of mums directly and got a response but it’s quite embarrassing when I get no response on the class group!

if I’m honest it’s digging deeper as I’m in therapy at the moment and my core beliefs are that I am worthless and them ignoring me kind of gives proof

I’m very friendly and chatty when I see them they seem okay face to face but the lack of responses on the group upsets me. I was running very late one day to pick my daughter up from homework club and usually pick up by 4:30 but it was an emergency st work which meant I had to stay on the school weren’t answering and there was no number I had for the homework club so it was awful.

I'm new to the school we started in year 2. It’s still no excuse to be rude and ignore my messages in my opinion.

It won't be that (and hugs OP). But I know how it feels to not be part of the school mum crowd, whether that is by actual ignoring or whatsapp ignoring and if can hurt. It is also ridiculous, why can't someone just reply! You are not the problem here.

I hate the class WhatsApp group. Lots of people ask questions on ours, some get a response, most probably don’t. I find there is one lady who posts the whole time questions that if she read the class correspondence thoroughly she could find out the answers to, it’s mostly that sort of thing that gets very little response.

i do get where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do but I’m sure it’s not personal. I try to respond when I can but often the messages come through when I’m working and I forget.

@DorritLittle thanks for the virtual hug!

she could find out the answers to, it’s mostly that sort of thing that gets very little response. Exactly why I’m feeling like this as people ask questions that they could easily find out from the emails but my questions get ignored. One lady today posted asking if it’s odd sock day in school and got tons of responses! The chat then went to what their kids going to wear etc. etc. there were 2 emails sent about the day!

Is it the timing of when you're asking? 7-8am and people have time to look/reply but 3.30pm-4.30pm anyone not in work has their hands full usually. You wouldn't get anything out of me that time of day and then I'd think oops too late.
Equally have you set up your name on WhatsApp so you're not just coming up as an unknown number?
It really is unlikely everyone is ignoring you on purpose. Definitely discuss with your counsellor.

Could it be the time of day you are posting?

Do you answer other people's messages?

Could it be the times you are posting at? Eg mornings when a lot of people are hectic, pick up time etc? People forget easily when it's a group chat and bad timing. Try sending one tomorrow at like 7pm, asking something that people would definitely know the answer to and see if you get responses x

ive Posted at different times but yes I will hear that in mind actually if I post again. Yes I do reply to questions I know answer to but often I’m like the 10th person replying so don’t see point of repeating what others have said

Come off it. Honestly, this sounds like a kid's post.

I'd feel the same as you. I never bother with my work WhatsApp & keep it on mute & I'm very glad class WhatsApp groups weren't a thing when mine were younger.
People behave oddly online, I'd avoid it for a while if I was you.
Good luck with your therapy.

what time does homework club finish, or does anyone know what day the maths challenge is.

Can you f8nd the answer on the school website?

At least you are on the chat.

When DC2 was in year 2 we moved and she joined a lovely class and had the best group of friends.

I found out on the last day of year 6 that there was a class WA group and I wasn’t on it. Fucking bitches were talking about a meal out and was all the group chat this and the group chat that. The main organiser was looking around as if to shhh them and changed the subject.
I had their kids over lots, taken them on days out and no one ever mentioned it to me.
I wasn’t even bothered about the nights out tbh.

This might not be what you do op, but I don't respond to questions where the answers are perfectly available in information provided by the school. I am not someone's secretary. These umpteen WhatsApp groups and their umpteen blooming questions drive me bonkers!

This is actually also very relevant. It's really annoying if someone only ever asks and never gives. I find it really rude. Maybe those getting responded to are always helping others out.

Good god thankful I went to school in 70s/80s- what bollox for parents to have to be involved in. Kids used to sort this shit out amongst themselves back then - I know shocking - also arrange "playdates" as you call it now - or back in my world it was just asking so-and-so if they fancy coming back to tea at yours tomorrow - bloody hell OP - their was no "school mums" scene back then, This sounds utter bollox.

•there - leave the school mum whats app scene - hideous

Just leave it OP save your sanity. It's horrible being an overthinker. I am similar. 🙈

You can now leave a WhatsApp group without it telling everyone too, I think it's only the admin that will see it instead of all group participants.

I'm not in any WhatsApp groups though. Can't say I feel as if I'm missing out.

I would give the WA group a miss for a while?

Honestly they are a bit shit i have one for my youngest fucking hell so glad he is my last never again the level of petty nonsense that goes on is ridiculous and yes I always answer other people's questions and try to be helpful but if I need a question answered? Tumbleweed I even got dragged into an incident where a disorganised parent asked the same question each week and I answered each week and another lady followed it up someone kicked off and tried having a go at me about it I literally was answering the question so I stopped answering so often bollox to them