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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried about my baby's temperament

52 replies

Movingsoon21 · 14/11/2022 20:53

My baby is 8.5 months old and since he was about 6 weeks old he always seems angry/annoyed/extremely upset. As far as we can tell there is nothing wrong with him like an illness or anything and he does have happy/joyful moments but it just seems to be that his personality is set to default angry/unhappy.

For example, when he wakes up from a nap he will cry like the world is ending until you feed him, then shout at you/cry if the bottle finishes before he wants it to or for the 30 seconds it takes me to switch him to the other boob. After a feed he will be happy for a couple of minutes but then whinge/cry until you entertain him. If you play with him for any length of time, as soon as you stop he will sort of shout at you and then eventually cry, he can't be put down on his own even for a couple of minutes. He also shouts/cries while getting dressed/undressed, while having his nappy changed, while in the car, while in the pram and about 2 minutes into any game you play with him (to say he's bored and wants a new activity).

It's really getting us down as we can't really enjoy any time with him. It's just constant crying and moaning unless he's asleep or eating and for a few 1 minute sessions of play each day (before he gets bored). We do everything we could possibly do for him - he has plenty of food and is breastfed on demand in addition to bottles and solids, we always give nap opportunities after the appropriate wake windows, we take him outside for fresh air and a change of scene a couple of times a day, we play with him, sing to him, he has plenty of toys and goes to baby classes to interact with others. He sleeps well overnight so I don't think he's chronically tired. I'm not sure what more we can do! We've tried just leaving him to it on the playmat but he essentially has a huge tantrum and cries as though we're killing him so we always give in and pick him up (he's then calm for a couple of minutes and then the whinging starts again until we play a new game...). I've actually decided to go back to work earlier than planned as I can't take any more days of being whinged at/cried at for so many hours every day, it's so depressing.

AIBU to be concerned about this? Anyone else had a baby like this? And did they become happier/ nicer company as they got older?

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 14/11/2022 20:55

Some babies are like this until they are mobile, just frustrated with life.

Summerishere123 · 14/11/2022 20:55

I would be ruling out any medical issues. Have you spoken to your health visitor?

PossiblyOverstepping · 14/11/2022 20:56

I could have written this when my youngest was a baby … everything changed when she started walking, basically she hated being a baby! Hang on in there. She’s a sweetheart now but still very emotional

Cuppasoupmonster · 14/11/2022 20:57

Yep, frustration, his little brain is probably ahead of his abilities so he gets cross. It was the same with my daughter. Once she could walk she was like a different kid!

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 14/11/2022 20:58

Until I sleep trained ds at 9 months he was a right miserable buggar.. Lack of sleep like the rest of us imo...
Transformed our lives when he slept 7 til 7...

ImEasyLikeSundayMorning · 14/11/2022 21:01

Mine was like this and it was reflux.

in fact 2 out of 3 of them were, both reflux

NotThisWeekSatan · 14/11/2022 21:02

Oh one of my DDs was just like this. If she wasn’t asleep or feeding she was crying.

And I always felt bad because if she was for example in her bouncy chair NOT crying for once, I’d just tiptoe round her and ignore her in case it all went wrong and she started off again, so I do think she got less interaction because of that. Whereas her sister was always a lot more sunny so everyone would speak to her, tickle her etc.

it is definitely depressing just having a baby cry at you all day, you have my sympathy.

She’s now a perfectly normal teenager - I would say her default setting is more ‘glass half empty’ but she’s not noticeably grumpy or unhappy.

We just tell her she hated being a baby! She was better once she got a bit older and could move about by herself/choose her own destiny a bit more.

Hope your DS cheers up soon!

Pipsickl · 14/11/2022 21:09

So my first baby was exactly like this. She was never happy and cried / whinged all day long. She is now 4 - she is absolutely not like this anymore, she is a joy! She stopped being like it when she was about 15 months. I will say that now she is very single minded and very independent!

in contrast my second baby hardly ever cried (to the point I thought there was something wrong with him) he is growing up to be much more laid back!

I think in my daughters situation it was very much to do with personality and frustration. It was really hard though, and I can totally see why it would be a worry. It made me very stressed out.

stickygotstuck · 14/11/2022 21:11

Yep. Extremely unhappy baby here. It was draining.

It eased off hugely when she learned to talk. She hated being a baby.

Conversely, she was a relatively easy toddler. Mind you, anything would seem easy compared to her babyhood! But she remained very easily upset and now as a teen I don't think you could describe her as having a sunny disposition.

WhatInFreshHell · 14/11/2022 21:16

My DS was exactly like this! He's 8 now and an absolute delight so hang in there.

BeanCounterBabe · 14/11/2022 21:16

My first was like this. She has got happier with life the more control she has gained over it. First big improvement was mobility, then communication. She is a very happy 15 year old who still needs to be in control of her life as much as possible. Luckily she is sensible and mindful of her safety. She is fully embracing homework since we stopped trying to make her do it.

LittleMousewithcloggson · 14/11/2022 21:25

My second was like this and would have been an only child if she had been my first!
Turned into a lovely toddler once she could walk and do things herself

Things that helped as a baby:
light show projector - loved the music and watching the shapes
activity mat - could pull and push things herself
Bouncing seat that hung from doorframe
Bright cartoons on tv
squeaky eggs
Shape sorter
Sensory play - sand and water

we made her learn to entertain herself for short periods every day (not let unattended of course!) so she wasn’t constantly demanding to be picked up

Original poster

Movingsoon21 · 14/11/2022 21:44

@Pumpkinpatchlookinggood we're lucky in that he sleeps 7-6 so it's not tiredness I don't think.

@ImEasyLikeSundayMorning oh that's interesting, how did you know that and when did they stop getting it? My baby is still sick a fair bit after eating.

OP posts:

Original poster

Movingsoon21 · 14/11/2022 21:46

@LittleMousewithcloggson yes! I'm currently thinking I don't want a second due to how miserable it has been with number 1. Hoping things improve as he gets older now I've read others' experiences above. Thanks for the ideas, I'll look into those.

OP posts:

Vavazoom · 14/11/2022 21:54

My son was like this as a baby. He was literally always screaming. It got a bit better once he got to about 18 months but he is still an exceedingly cantankerous child at the age of 2 and a half. It’s a lot more bearable now though because he’s also incredibly bright and very funny. It’ll get better.

SnowFir · 14/11/2022 21:56

Dd2 used to scream if I put her down and woke about ten times a night. She's a nice teenager though

nonono1 · 14/11/2022 22:19

My baby is still sick a fair bit after eating.

When you say eating, do you mean solids? If so I think you should maybe get that checked out with the GP - just a suggestion as I don’t recall mine ever being sick after eating. Good luck OP, hope things improve for you all.

BabyOnBoard90 · 14/11/2022 22:23

DD is like this. We ignore and let her cry out if necessary. But don't let the cries deter us from playing with her and doing day to day routines.

Getting rid of the dummy and sleep training helped improve her moods. She's now sleeping through night.

WibbleW0bble · 14/11/2022 22:30

Yep, word for word my DC as a baby. Was absolutely soul destroying. I hated maternity leave because being moaned and cried and fussed at for a year straight was exhausting.

DC is now a relatively highly strung and sensitive toddler who still needs lots of input from me/DP…but they are also extremely bright, funny, friendly, articulate and affectionate. Still not easy but a million times better than their first year. It got noticeably better when they could walk and talk. Was 100% temperament with DC - I’m certain It was nothing ‘medical’.

StillMedusa · 14/11/2022 22:36

Another one here who had a baby who hated being a baby!
My DD1 looked somewhat annoyed with life from the moment she was born.
Other people's babies smiled... she glared! She was a very high needs baby too.

Once walking and talking she improved massively, she wanted and needed to be independent! She just got better and better over time. Now an adult she is a lovely person ...but she was also the most independent of mine always.

SavingKitten · 14/11/2022 22:41

Some babies just hate being babies, both of mine did! They got happier when mobile but still stroppy until they could communicate better (terrible 2s were hard!) but they both have lovely kind temperaments now as children. None of us like to sit around doing nothing for too long but they are lovely kids who are active and not afraid to ask for what they want.

Original poster

Movingsoon21 · 17/11/2022 12:40

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time to post on my thread. It’s made me feel less alone and given me hope that things will eventually improve.

here’s hoping once he can walk and talk he’ll be happier!

OP posts:

SalviaOfficinalis · 17/11/2022 12:43

Mine was like this too OP. He was progressively less grumpy from 1 onwards.

He‘s now 18 months and it’s much less stressful, I can relax and actually enjoy being with him.

NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet · 17/11/2022 12:48

Mine was like this! Now 13 months (almost 14 months) and walking, he's so much happier! I always said he hated being a baby.

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 17/11/2022 12:54

This was me as a baby apparently and refused to sleep as well but i became a happy toddler...until mum got pregnant with my bro and at the age of 2 i refused to speak to her for 6 months ha ha.

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