Children Being Noisy During 2 Min Silence?

[AmIAnOldBag]

I was at a Remembrance Service yesterday. It was outdoors. There were about 8 children running about, across from the speaker (so in the middle of the service). They were just being kids, screaming and squealing, playing together. Just to be clear, I'm not blaming the kids for being kids. They were about 7-11 years old.

However, their parents made no attempt at rallying them up, or keeping them calm or quiet during the 2 minute silence (or any of the 30min service). One parent had her son beside her the full time (he looked about 9, not sure though). She was standing beside us, and put her hands on her lips in a 'shh' motion before the silence, told him it was to remember the soldiers and he had to stand beside her and stay quiet, and he got the message. Even if he hadn't, I would still appreciate her attempt!

The parents to the other kids (who were running around playing), just did nothing. I felt a bit sad that people were there remembering their relatives in some cases, yet a lot of noise was happening during the silence and the rest of ceremony.

It's in a rural area so although it was outside, there wasn't any traffic noise etc so the kids perhaps seemed louder because of this.

Anyway, AIBU for thinking some of the parents shouldve stepped in before the 2min silence to keep things reasonably quiet?

Totally disrespectful
I hope somebody said something afterwards

Yes absolutely.

For me this is very simple. If someone chooses not to go to a Remembrance day event and instead goes and plays football somewhere else that's absolutely fine and it's their choice.
However if somebody attends a Remembrance day event then they should respect what others expect in terms if behaviour.

I don't go to the theatre and then talk through the performance, I don't go to a classical concert and loudly sing along. I don't disrupt religious services. Why not? Because I have manners, I respect others and I know how to behave.
I'm saddened by people labelling this as performative just as an excuse to be fucking rude and disruptive. We do however live in a time when to suggest that a specific behaviour might be required, is considered to be controlling.
And for information my father was a Japanese POW in WW2 and his father served in the trenches in WW1. My father used to attend the annual parade & I don't think respecting people like them for 2 minutes a year is too much.

I work in a nursery. A room full of mostly 3 year olds and a few 4 year olds managed two minutes with no fuss whatsoever.

I can't understand why they went as they obviously had no intention of making sure their children were being respectful.
At 7 to 11 they could have stood quietly for 2 minutes.
YANBU.

YANBU. I used to try to keep my toddlers quiet. By the age of 5, hard as it was for them, they knew they had to stay silent for two minutes.

Lazy selfish parents

Did the children choose to go, or were they forced to go by their parents though? For full disclosure, I am a veteran who recently left the services. One of the biggest lessons my service has taught me is that the ability to make your own choices and decide on your own morality is an incredibly valuable and precious thing, and not as common as you may think (lockdowns, anyone?)

We all accept (well, most of us, anyway) that there are laws to follow or there will be official consequences, but anything over that should be a personal choice. I do understand that you don’t completely agree with either that view or the conduct of the children and their parents at the remembrance service; not only is that fine and understandable, but exactly the point I’m trying to make.

YANBU, my 7yo DD was in the local parade along with other uniformed organisations, there were DC as young as 4 observing the silence, so an 11yo absolutely should know how and when to be silent unless they have SN.

@DomesticShortHair
Thank you for your well considered thoughts and I really don't disagree with you. I just think that personal choices should be tempered with consideration for others, and if as a parent you make a choice for your children, then you should ensure that they behave in a manner that doesn't impinge on others.

YANBU

I don’t observe the silence, but if I were to attend an event DC would be told to keep quiet as it’s simply disrespectful otherwise

Yanbu

It isn't just children. I was shocked that adults carried on elbowing through a crowd standng for the 2 minute silence on Friday. The last post was being performed in town centre so no excuse that they didn't know. Just couldn't stand and wait quietly. One woman muttered "Oh for fucks sake" as she shoved past me. I found it incredibly sad.

GrumpyOldPersonwithCats, I actually don't disagree with your post. There's no reason to attend a Remembrance Service if you don't want to conform to the behaviour expected.

What I do object to - and think performative - is the huffing and puffing of adults - usually women - who are busily observing what other people are doing. It's off-putting to others who are being observant of the silence.

We reference our own experiences in posting and mine is not that of specifically children being noisy but of supermarket shoppers blocking aisles and making a point of enforcing the observance whilst twisting around and loudly shushing at the slightest noise or tutting at others who do not choose to observe and are going about their business. They could of course, note the time and quietly move to the side but this wouldn't be making.a.point. There are many instances of this that I've seen and it leaves me cold.

My children stand quietly. If they can't tune out others around or don't want to observe then they can be quiet so as not to disrupt anybody else. I'm ok with that.

Since we cannot compel people to observe, nor correct their behaviour without being a nuisance ourselves, there's nothing really to do is there? Assuming control that we don't have is an exercise in futility.

I don't doubt that there was much eye-rolling, huffing and puffing and generally making known that the OP was not happy. I don't find that particularly respectful.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe
Fair points. Like you I'm much less convinced by the seemingly mandatory 2 minute silence in shops and offices, rather than attending a formal service if you wish to.

I had a Teams meeting booked at 11.00 on the 11th. I just moved the start time to 11.05 so participants could choose to do what they liked before joining the call.
To confirm - my comments above relate to people behaving poorly at a specific event, as in the initial post.

Even though I am used to some people on MN being deliberately contraire just to wind others up, I am amazed that anyone can think it reasonable to bring your dc to a memorial and then totally disrespect the silence.

I agree.

People are free to stand to the side if they want to observe the minute/2 minute silence on the 11th or on Remembrance Sunday or the many other occasions where there has been silences to observe.

But others don't need to take part and can, rightly, carry on with their day. You don't need other peoples silence to observe your own.

I don't even know what I was doing on Friday at 11 - probably in the car so if no consequence to anyone else whether I was silent or not. I do think it's become much more performative in recent years. Same as poppy wearing.

Services are different as why go if you won't observe the silence.

For the record, I agree too that personal choices should always be tempered with consideration for others- years of living in very close proximity to others whilst in the forces certainly brought home that! I just think that should be a hope, or even a quiet expectation that others do the same, rather than a demand, that’s all.

Definitely not unreasonable!
I took 10 Rainbows and 12 Brownies on parade yesterday. They are ages between 4 and 10. They were all silent both during the short service at the cenotaph and during the 2 minutes.

It is only for 2 minutes.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I didn't eyeroll, huff or puff, so your assumption is wrong.