Children Being Noisy During 2 Min Silence?

[AmIAnOldBag]

I was at a Remembrance Service yesterday. It was outdoors. There were about 8 children running about, across from the speaker (so in the middle of the service). They were just being kids, screaming and squealing, playing together. Just to be clear, I'm not blaming the kids for being kids. They were about 7-11 years old.

However, their parents made no attempt at rallying them up, or keeping them calm or quiet during the 2 minute silence (or any of the 30min service). One parent had her son beside her the full time (he looked about 9, not sure though). She was standing beside us, and put her hands on her lips in a 'shh' motion before the silence, told him it was to remember the soldiers and he had to stand beside her and stay quiet, and he got the message. Even if he hadn't, I would still appreciate her attempt!

The parents to the other kids (who were running around playing), just did nothing. I felt a bit sad that people were there remembering their relatives in some cases, yet a lot of noise was happening during the silence and the rest of ceremony.

It's in a rural area so although it was outside, there wasn't any traffic noise etc so the kids perhaps seemed louder because of this.

Anyway, AIBU for thinking some of the parents shouldve stepped in before the 2min silence to keep things reasonably quiet?

I think they should have at least tried, although I accept that sometimes the trying itself can cause even more disruption.

But either way, at least the parents were there at the remembrance service and paying their own respects. So I can’t criticise them too much.

If they were attending the service they should have been quiet and 7-11 is definitely old enough to be quiet. But they are also young enough that it is down to their parents, not them.

But why do we have to do this twice now? On the 11th AND on the nearest Sunday. After having to do it multiple times for the Queen as well. It's just becoming meaningless.

I work in hospitality. We had bbc1 on the TV, with volume, showing the service. We made all of the customers aware in advance that we would be observing the silence.

Out of 21 occupied tables everybody was very respectful, except one. A table with two adults and two 8/9 year old children who chatted and laughed throughout. So bloody disrespectful.

“But why do we have to do this twice now? On the 11th AND on the nearest Sunday. After having to do it multiple times for the Queen as well. It's just becoming meaningless“

It’s been twice for as long as I can remember (nearly 60). It is far from meaningless.

@DomesticShortHair but at that age, in that context, it shouldn't have taken much "trying"..it goes "Billy, come here. In a sec we need to stand completely still and quiet for the reasons I explain this morning". And take the football off him.

I used to work in a shop. During a 2 minute silence (I think it was for the 7/7 attacks) a baby was sat in in pushchair babbling and laughing away to herself. I remember thinking it was a beautiful sound and made me think she is the reason we remember lives that are gone - that life is for living and every next generation is so important.
However any child over the age of about 3 or 4 should be told that they need to be quiet and respectful.
@AmIAnOldBag were the children part of a group like scouts or just with their parents? If a group you could maybe send an email to their leaders saying that for next year could they be taught how to behave.

Yanbu, I asked my toddler to play the quiet game during the 2 minute silence. My 8 year old is more than capable of being quiet and still during such events. It's the parents job to teach their children on how to be respectful.

Unacceptable behaviour. Of course kids 7-11 can keep quiet for 2 minutes but it's up the the parents o make sure they behave appropriately. Too many entitled parents of entitled brats, "my children can do as they please "
I would have had my arse tanned if I had behaved like that at that age!

@Needmorelego no, I don't think so - all the groups were wearing their uniforms and the kids playing were in casual clothes.

For this I disagree. It wasn't an official service so you can't expect others, who have chosen not to attend a service to observe the silence. That doesn't detract from others sitting/standing quietly.

My son was playing football yesterday and they did a minutes silence before kickoff, which happened to be 11am. Not all the people on the sidelines observed it, but they had no obligation to either. Them chatting didn't stop me having a minutes silence, and neither did the other background noise (another game which had an earlier kick off so was playing at 11)

& yes, it's not the fault of the kids, but the parents should have stepped in.

Although I understand 'trying' could have been disruptive, they know when the silence starts. They should have intervened ahead of the silence, so that they didn't disrupt it when it was already taking place.

I think it's both. Children of that age - as has been pointed out - will have done this at school and will know why. Don't absolve them of responsibility because they're kids!

It was outdoors though? I would still keep my children quiet, but maybe the parents thought while they themselves were attending the service, their children were simply playing near the service area. Not as clear cut as indoors in a room.

7-11 year old’s can absolutely stand quietly for a few minutes, unless there’s any additional needs. That’s just bad parenting, sorry.

Also, my 7yo would be able to look around and pick up clues from everyone else standing quietly, even if not instructed by parents.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy fair enough, I don't have any kids - so I'm not really sure what age/stage they become more 'aware'. I think I'd have known at 11 (easy saying that now), but my nephew is a very young 11, and my sis said she warned him beforehand because he is quite oblivious. He did stay silent after fidgeting and getting THE LOOK though 😅

"But why do we have to do this twice now? On the 11th AND on the nearest Sunday."

Now? The Remembrance Day parades and holding a service/wreath laying at the cenotaph has always been on the Sunday. It's not meaningless at all.

FWIW I would've told the parents how rude they were afterwards.

@EthicalNonMahogany yes, it was outdoors but it was clear. It was cornered off, with signs and poppies, and directly in front of a war memorial.

There was a podium and a speaker, the kids were playing directly in front of the podium during the silence and then running about in between the rows of people the rest of the time. There were benches as well for elderly people. So it was clear that it was a service, and they were directly in the service, not playing away in the distance.

I am conflicted on this one, and very mindful of what my Dad would've thought. He was a WWII tank commander in Africa and Italy, had some pretty bad experiences, would never talk about it much. But we regularly visited his friends in their graves in Italy when we went on holiday, and I often went with him, for him it was a very personal experience.

He was however of the opinion that much of our remembrance activities are too many and too much. Much of it is performative, and there should be no compulsion to take part or to wear poppies. Just his view, but interesting.

He would have thought that children playing nearby, was lovely, and was what he had fought for.

If the children were not actually at the memorial, or facing it, but playing away from it, I personally think that is fine.

By us there was an amazing start to the 2 min silence. So many children, yet you could hear the birds despite all the toddlers and babies in the crowd. The young scouts and guide members were beautiful. Massive crowd yet so still.

Then they, without any public warning, brought an actual working cannon. Hidden a little bit so many didn’t see it if they approached from a popular direction. Not just for decoration. Someone had decided that they’d start and end the silence this year with the cannon.

So as it started… BOOM. Every dog in the area started barking, you could hear it from houses all around. Babies cried, kids jumped and exclaimed. A few tried to
run away or screamed.

Just as we calmed them down… BOOM.

@AmIAnOldBag Ah, we crossed posted. Then yes, they should not have been allowed to play in front of, or between those present. The parents should have asked them to move away from the service.

Totally agree, OP. When 11th falls on a weekday I always make sure I’m either at home or somewhere on my own so I dont get irritated at anyone breaking the silence

The 10% of people voting YABU are the 10% with these loud annoying children. I feel very sorry for the DC as they grow up thinking they can do WTF they want and don't learn social cues so end up finding it difficult to fit in to higher education/work settings. My Aunt was like this and her DC have all been repeatedly sacked but are now, in their late 30s/40s accept the issues and parent their own children very differently.

Gosh, that's terrible! They must have been aware that they were the only people talking. How horribly disrespectful of them.

That's bad. My autistic teens would have gone into meltdown at such an unexpected noise, it would have triggered dh's Menieres and that is before you think of any veterans who might have PTSD.