To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

He built his own gaming PC from scratch a few weeks ago, in two hours, totally on his own.

This made me

I have no doubt at all your kid is clever but building your own PC is one of those things that sounds impressive but is, in reality, piss easy.

It's often the first thing anyone interested in IT does.

Back on topic, private school is just like many things: there are hoops to jump through. The financial details aspect is a hoop. You can either jump through it or not, but if you want a bursary, you will have to jump

I did a short stint assessing people to see if they qualified for student loans.

It was labyrinthine. I know several colleagues were in tears on a regular basis because it was just so impossibly complicated.

I can well imagine how stressful this must be.

On the timing - they will want the forms before the entrance exam so that they can assess everything at the same time. If they waited until prospective pupils had passed/failed to ask for financial details it would make the process longer and they want to get admissions finished in good time for the following academic year. With all the information they can make offers with/without bursary straight up at the same time without the admissions process dragging out over more months

Yep. No way he could afford that if you are low income OP.

You need to be aware that fees are only part of the costs of private school. There are a lot of other costs resulting from being at private school that you need to factor in.

As for ‘too clever for state school’, I don’t think it’s much of a secret that state schools aren’t so well set up to cater for kids at the bottom or top of the academic scale. It’s surely not that surprising that a school that selects for very academic kids is better placed to cater for very academic kids than a teacher stretched to teach to all levels.

Goodness you must let them know they have got their system of fees all wrong and they need to change it to accommodate your little darling. Don't they know who he is?!!!!

Glad to hear you've done the form.

My DS1 is very bright (and built his gaming PC when he was aged ten). You need to be careful about the private school and check that it will actually stretch your DS. I moved my DS1 to a super selective grammar at 11 as his private school wasn’t challenging him and he was coasting. It’s a very decent private with excellent results but I always felt like they were more interested in pulling up those at the bottom rather than pushing those at the top. By the way this has worked out well for DS2 who has benefited from the extra support at the private school and will be staying there all the way through. There are some privates which are extremely academic but none were in travelling distance for us and we couldn’t afford boarding.

You also need to understand that when they assess for a bursary it’s not all about disposable income. They may expect you to realise some of your assets: e.g. equity release from your home.

Are you scared they will sneer at you for your financial situation? If that's the case, don't send him, the parents AND the children of the school will take care of that avenue for you.

Good luck for your son, OP, and well done for getting the forms sorted. The one thing private school offers is smaller classes (or they should). This helped my DD no end, as there were only five in her maths class and she wasn’t afraid to ask for help (but she was at the dimmer end of the spectrum to your son). Worth looking at the turnover of teachers at the school. DD2’s school had some very mediocre teachers who had been there for years and were usually married to another teacher.

Also do look at results. There are some well known public schools that get worse results than some of our local comps.

Exactly, I never read anything after that first sentence, I went straight to the replies.

He's not wrong here. Surely he can suck it up for the next 2 years (the college at 16) to increase his chances. There are loads of outreach opportunities for DC on v. low incomes,what is he into ?

I came here to say that too! The worst of all worlds would be: "Your DC has passed the test! Financial details please?" followed a month later by "sorry, no bursary for you." Can you even imagine?

www.theaccessproject.org.uk/schools

Like this

I sincerely wish your son luck. He certainly sounds bright, but not particularly noteworthily so. I would expect a couple of kids in every year 9 class to be able to do this, at least. Not trying to burst your bubble, just want you to be a bit more realistic. Most year 9s can get grade 8/9 in any favourite subject at GCSE, which is why universities and employers ignore any GCSE taken at this age - the real test is can they do it when taking 10-12 GCSEs in one sitting, including the subjects they have less of an affinity with. This is why students are only assessed on the GCSEs they take in year 11. If your child started taking GCSEs now, they would most likely be disregarded for his university application anyway. Likewise, the ambition to Oxbridge is a bit of a worry, as you have mentioned the institution, rather than the subject. Oxbridge has a good reputation for some subjects, such as English, and a very poor reputation for others, so I worry about how realistic this "ambition" is, as it isn't necessarily "ambitious". If he is happy in the school, but not learning, ( and I find that difficult to believe tbh) then address that. If he has to take the GCSE paper in to show the teacher his grades, he is clearly not getting the same grades in the classroom - and this is typical - kids do score a grade or two higher at home than they do in class, right from reception upwards.

Well, lets hope he gets this place, and the scholarship and the bursary, and goes on to be happy, or stays where he is and is happy, and either way does well in education and is happy as an adult too 💐

Then pay in full for something you can afford.

Don’t forget that private school trips abroad may be a heck of a lot more than state school trips. My niece is in a very well known private school and the trips are very expensive. Also don’t forget uniform costs and other ad hoc fees that may be incurred. Personally, if you can’t afford it (without putting your family in jeopardy with being unable to afford bills / the basics) then I wouldn’t do it. What about hiring a private tutor and trying to get him into a grammar school?

Hi OP

I am sure you have done your research, but just check that the private school you're looking at is actually academic. Many private schools are more about 'ability to pay' rather than 'ability of the child'

My local private school is academically very, very average (lower grades than local state schools) but is strong in sports.

Bursary applications do have to be thoroughly checked - many top boarding schools have bursary support for household incomes up to £100k - this was a few years ago so could have gone up.

They can't offer him a free place until they know if he is eligible for a free place. I assume of you had £15 spare you could get a paid place tomorrow op but instead you are asking a private business to provide a service for free. To do this they need to means test you. If you don't like it don't do it but they don't owe you a place.

For info, children are not 'too clever' for state school. What is it you think the private school will be doing differently?

What a stupid thing to say about being too clever for state school.

Did he inherit your DP's brains?

Not true.

I went to private and state school and the education, expectations and opportunities in the private school were much, much better than the state school.

There were other things I preferred about the state school but not worth going into here.

FWIW, my DC go to state school, I'm happy with their schools.

Not all private schools are better than all state schools. But on the whole, they are better resourced and have a very different ethos, which will suit some kids better (and some worse. Look at the entitled shits Eton is creating and how we're suffering as a nation due to it. Only half joking).

State school teacher. 50% of gcse students in my subject got grade 7+ in my subject last year. About 20 in year (20%) grade 9s. One girl a few years ago was one of only a handful in the country to get grade 9s across the board. The private schools poach our students for sixth form and give them bursaries as they boost their results! We are none selective comprehensive. No such thing as too smart for state school. You know the teachers go to the same universities and are trained in the same places don’t you? Just different employers.

OP- maybe they look at both results in exams and finances at the same time, taking both into consideration when making offers?
They may also need to know you can afford the remaining fees.

OP, if you want your DS to have a chance if getting in, you have to do the form, it's as simple as that.

You might well be right, it's unreasonable for them to ask for so much info before your Ds has passed the test.

But it's their money, their rules can be as unreasonable as they like.

Just do the form.

If he doesn't get in, do you have a backup plan? His school obviously aren't meeting his needs. Are there any better schools anywhere near you? Could you move?

Also the last year a level results were published our schools were the highest for both state and private schools in the county. This from a non selective sixth form that doesn’t only let those with super high grades in

If he's too clever for state school could he teach at said school. Shortage of teachers and all that? YABVU to think he is too clever for state school