To not be happy how my DH greets other women

[Tootiredtosleep45]

So ....we are on a night out we see a couple we know and he greets her 'hello gorgeous' yes we know then well but ..I just didn't like it.

Did you forget to say the driver is your husband and the passenger is random woman?

Hmm some people just have that way about them but my friends husband who I always thought was overly friendly and full of sexual innuendos that his wife said were innocent, then went on to have an affair! They’re still together and he still can’t help himself.

I wouldn’t be happy with my husband calling other people affectionate terms like darling or gorgeous, they’re just for me!

Unless he then goes on to be massively flirty with them, I couldn't get annoyed by this One of my closest married female friends often greets me in messaging and in person with hello gorgeous, it's just a term of endearment.

I’ve voted yanbu because an acquaintance’s husband used to address me as ‘babe’ and it really gave me the ick. She never seemed to notice but I’d have loved it if she’d told him to pack it in.

Apart from a few friends and former colleagues OH doesn't really greet women with anything other than a hello. It can be embarrassing when they put out a hand and I have to nudge him to shake. It takes him a while to be comfortable with women he doesn't know. Suits me though as I'm not that keen on meeting people either.

My dp calls other women "sweetheart". It's a friendly gesture, nothing more.

@ahunf Did you forget to say the driver is your husband and the passenger is random woman?

No. 🙂

Surely you haven't got all the way to marrying the guy without realising he calls women gorgeous if he does it habitually?
Or has it just suddenly started with this one woman?

Context is important. Does he do this with all women he's friendly with, or just this one woman? If he's singling her out for special attention then that would make me uncomfortable. The only men I know who habitually greet female friends with "hello gorgeous" or "hello beautiful" etc are gay. I'd find it a bit odd if one of my straight male friends suddenly started addressing me like that but I suppose if he's always done it that's different.

YABU

life must be draining when you’re so insecure

Context is key here.

If it's one woman and he's overly flirtatious with her then it's probably inappropriate and YANBU.

If it's the way he greets a lot of female friends and he's otherwise friendly with them then YABU and it's unlikely that this is a new behaviour.

There's going to be a drip feed soon I suspect.

Who doesnt love their Husband greeting a woman with comments based on how she looks?! I'm assuming he greets his male friends as handsome too?!

Personally it would give me the ick and nothing to do with being jealous, it lumps them firmly in the same camp as men that you call you sweetheart, darling, babe, gorgeous etc. It's screams of being a bit of sleaze and yet another way to make sure women know their worth is based on looks.

But if it floats your boat and you love it, great for you.

me and my OH will go out with a group of other couples every now and again, we also bring our kids. The kids all play well together, we’re all close friends, our OHs will do men things together, we’ll do women’s nights together and none of us are attracted to any of each others partners.

One of the males in the group would speak to all the females like this and tell them they look lovely etc when we see him, he isn’t actually attracted to any of us, he loves his wife, he’s just being nice, it’s his personality and just values us as friends and giving a compliment to give us a boost. We’re all very used to it from him and don’t even think twice but if my OH or any of the other males in the group were to it would be weird as “that’s not them”.

So I suppose I’d only be bothered if it meant something to your OH or if this was unusual for him. I guess if it bothers you regardless of that though you’ll have to tell him you don’t like it and I expect he would stop.

You're not wrong to find that upsetting..

How jealous and insecure you sound.
You should be pleased he's a nice happy chappy and friendly.

Every single woman on here who is saying the OP is insecure is absolutely lying.
I'd love to see how they'd fee if their DH said they same thing.
Why has mumsnet become so shitty like this?

Every single woman on here who is saying the OP is insecure is absolutely lying.
I'd love to see how they'd fee if their DH said they same thing
Not lying at all
If my DH greeted all our female friends the same way and was otherwise friendly then I'd not have a problem with it.
If he greeted just one woman like that and was flirtatious with her then I'd object.

Context is key.

Some of the partners do, ppl have already said that and they don't mind.

At the end of the day if op isn't happy talk to him. A bunch of strangers ain't going to solve it.

Hello gorgeous is perfectly alright
Hello sugar tits is right out

Eugh I would be cringing for him - and for her. It’s just yuck! Nothing to do with jealousy, everything to do with creepy!

This is how my gay friends greet my husband, I’ve never felt it was inappropriate, it’s flattering.

These are the unspoken rulez in our house too.

It depends, is she gorgeous? 😆

You’re aware many men and women use this as a greeting right?

So quite a few of us will have first hand experience of this and not be caught up in a mess over it

Well given the number of women who hate being called by these type of names I think I'd be more worried that he was annoying and offending them.
Women who sit there smiling indulgently at how 'friendly and charming' their Derek is to the 'ladies' would often be surprised at what they call him behind his back.
(Clue: It's not 'happy chappy'.)