To think this post was completely out of order?

[ohmano]

A woman on my Instagram put up a story and wrote, 'only poofs get hangovers' with a picture of her smiling (she is married to a man).

I messaged the woman the following....

'You do know that the word ‘poof’ is a homophobic slur commonly used against gay men? It is highly inappropriate that you have used such a word whether in jest or not and then broadcast it amongst all your followers (plenty I’m sure are as disgusted and appalled as myself). It’s not funny, it’s not acceptable, and I suggest you educate yourself on appropriate and non-derogatory language'

She responded - 'Thanks for the education. I’ll be sure to educate myself so that everyone who already knows I’m the furthest thing from homophobic, continue to know I’m the furthest thing from homophobic. You won’t know that because you’ve taken time out of your day to message a STRANGER, someone you do not know and will never know, so cheers for the disgust and judgement from one post. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to being embarrassed on behalf of random people on Instagram and selling Tropic Skincare. Hope your business is thriving'

And is now continuing to hound me. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't believe how brazen she was to post such a thing. AIBU?

It depends, though, doesn't it? In some contexts, yeah, it's helpful for people to demonstrate that lots of us object and refuse to accept these things, not just leave all the hard work to those who are being directly targeted. In other contexts, it's irritating to have people whiteknighting about stuff that's nothing to do with them, sometimes in a pretty misguided way.

But not everyone needs or wants total strangers to stand up for them.

@thelobsterquadrille but some do?

Anyway, I’ll let you get back to being embarrassed on behalf of random people on Instagram and selling Tropic Skincare. Hope your business is thriving'

This is the weirdest product placement I've seen on here.

Are they still hounding you?

Next time just report it and ignore. You don't need to post it on here really.

But it clearly was intentional

I don't disagree.

But I don't think you help anyone by randomly messaging total strangers about how offensive their posts are 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lol but true. Op you should have ignored and scrolled on. What business is it of yours??

Yes of course. I posted a thread recently about racist statements on Facebook. The overwhelming consensus was to call people out or you are complicit. Quite why this thread has different responses I don't know

The best thing to do now is report, delete & block both the offensive woman and any of her abusive mates.

Are you both British?

You didn’t want to educate her though did you, you wanted to tell her off. I wouldn’t respond well to such a pompous message either. You won’t respond well to being told your tone was pompous I imagine. And on we go.

I would not have said anything like this, to be honest, if I said ANYthing that someone classed as 'untoward' or they didn't like, and they tried to chastise me, they would get a VERY short shrift. I would tell them to F-off, and block them.

YABVU @ohmano Not sure who you actually think you are?!

She appears to be someone who stands up to homophobia. Why are you offended by that?

Well, it's not about you as an individual, so really no -one is asking you.

Oh please. OP would have said nothing to this woman’s face and was harassing a random woman who was probably having a laugh with her gay friends. If she’d have just DM’d her saying “I know you probably didn’t mean to offend but the wording you used is offensive and hurtful” etc she’d have probably had a different response but to be so aggressive to a complete stranger it’s no wonder she got the response she did.

Lots of assumptions made in your post. Whether she was laughing with her gay mates or not is irrelevant here, she put it on her social media account and it did offend someone - quite rightly so as it's a homophobic slur. She wasn't having a private conversation, she literally put it up for people to make judgements and comment on.

So many people falling over themselves to defend the use of a vile homophobic slur.

I wouldn't have worded it as you did and thinking was a bit "outraged of Tunbridge Wells" but you did the right thing calling her out.

Her use of the word doesn't automatically make her homophobic but it's a very poor choice that could easily be construed as such. Hopefully she'll think twice next time.

OP was hardly harassing the woman - but it seems she's got her mates to harass OP!

She's obviously rude, ignorant and aggressive. You're never going to have a reasonable conversation with anyone like that. Just report and be glad you don't have to deal with her increasing life. Imagine having someone like that for a colleague or neighbour?
But you were right to call her out.

I would have unfollowed her and gone about my day, you are not wrong but I wouldn't have bothered taking the time to get involved in arguments with people who mean nothing to me x

I never said it was.

But OP didn't really stand up for anyone either. All she did was send a private message - how is that helping?

Virtue. Signalling.

Better to be a Virtue signaller that a homophobe.