Dh has a friend who had been diagnosed with a life threatening disease and has pulled through into recovery mode. DH and I have been good and supportive friends. In the last 6 months her behaviour towards DH has changed with a clearly evident crush, changed body language, dress sense and a absolute intense need to see him a few times each week. They live quite close to us.
She insists on messaging him and making 'family' plans to meet each weekend as has single child, who 'must' meet mine. I went along with this as a supportive friend and get everything has clearly changed. Dh insists I am over reacting and seeing things that are not there and assured me there is nothing in his mind about her. He is being a good friend. Her H seems to be present but silent. In order to keep meeting him she has recently also started messaging my 12yo to check what his plans are for the weekend. This is a red line for me.
It's driving a massive wedge into my family. She says let's meet as a family, I refuse to go and each weekend is being screwed with a change in energy and much repetitive arguments each weekend. Much has been clearly said to dh and yet we seem to be stuck.
I am exhausted and at my wits end. We've been together for nearly 20 years and it's been a joyful trusting relationship with the pressure of work/life/chores etc that occasionally get fought over. This seems to be breaking us up and causing insane levels of anxiety and anger
Any advice welcome!