To ask if this is normal toddler behaviour?

[toddlerdilemma]

Name changed for this.

DD is 18 months. Lately we have seen our placid lovely baby transform into a little tyrant. The tantrums are so stressful at times. Even our childminder has commented on the change in her from super chilled and easy going to "strong willed" and challenging 🙈

Here's a snapshot of her behaviours:

• 8 out of 10 nappy changes are a literal fight with her. She will not lie still. She rolls off the mat and runs away, if I try to hold her still she screams, and I means screams, like I'm torturing her. This is more so if I've had to interrupt her play time to change her.

• throws herself on the floor and shouts "no!" whilst crying if we have to leave somewhere when she's enjoying herself. She did this in the park recently and was literally face down in the mud crying, I had to carry her out of there red faced!

• hates being strapped into her high chair and will cry when we try to do this but does usually settle once we give her her meal etc - it's just the chair she hates (presumably being strapped in / restricted?)

• hits herself in the head when she's overtired - this is only occasionally but it upsets me when she does this as I'm worried she could hurt herself - obviously I hold her hands to stop her doing this

Are these things "normal"? My childminder tells me that in her experience they are and that she's going through the terrible 2s early.

Is she right or do I have a child with behavioural difficulties? 😥

also recommend 'how to talk so little kids will listen'

and maybe some of Janet Lansbury too. I follow her on Facebook and she posts interesting things.

With point 1, I wouldn't interrupt play to change a nappy unless there was poo leaking or something. I'd just wait until she was finished that particular part of play. no one likes to be interrupted!

Point 2, I'd give notice of leaving eg we're going soon 5 or 10 min before, then just before leaving to play on 1 more thing before we go.

3 - if possible put the food on her highchair before she goes in it?

I have an almost 3yo, it gets easier in some ways and harder in others but seems easier overall I think. he can do more for himself now and independent play lasts longer than at 18m.

I don't think the head hitting is normal. It can be a sign of autism so just be aware and keep and eye on then ball all the rest is very normal

I'd also give notice of a nappy change. what works with my toddler is giving him the choice of does he want to climb onto the changing table or does he want me to lift him. 70% of the time this works. we continue to use a changing table as I've got back problems and he's never been able to run off haha.

I second the wriggler mat! We got one when our DD started to roll and it's made a world of difference. She is 16 months now and will still protest at the idea of having her nappy changed but once she is strapped into the mat and we're singing a song or she's got a toy, she relaxes and is fine. I much, much, much prefer it to trying to hold her down.

My 18mo has just learnt how to climb onto the windowsill. She delights in nearly giving mummy a heart attack every time 😅

My baby is 14 months and does all of the above various screaming whilst lying on the floor. It's normal and a phase.

Looks good! I just give mine a high value item ie the tub of sudocrem. She bites the lid off and has a little taste and rubs some on her own bum.

About this age we started doing a nappy while watching "number farm" etc on YouTube. And bribing to get in the buggy with a dried apricot. Not great parenting but it got us through.

Not great parenting would be leaving her to stew in her own shite. You're doing great!

Aw thank you @Blocked !

She’s not too young for potty training if you can get her interested in it- mine HATED a wet or dirty nappy so was fully trained by 18 months just because she knew it was more comfortable than a nappy. We did a bit of baby sign language and she could sign for the potty before she could talk, it was very handy but be warned toddlers are generally demons and she learned to lie before she could talk too, she would sign for the potty in order to get out of her cot when she didn’t want to go to sleep!!

She also used to bang her head/rock and occasionally pinch herself when tired. She grew out of it.

Totally normal.

Although it would be nicer to ask to do her nappy, rather than force her and hold her down etc. It’s never too early to learn about consent and respect. We’ve always asked to change nappies. Sometimes they want you to wait for a while. Other times they’re ok to be changed then. It’s much less of a fight if you’re both on the same team.

I do ask her. That's the whole point, really. I've totally lost any parental authority as I'm just tip toeing around meltdowns! It goes something like ...

"DD have you done a poo poo? can mummy change your nappy now sweetheart?" whilst making eye contact and guiding her by hand away from whatever she's doing.

DD reply: "NO!!" whilst pulling away from me back to her toys.

"Come on DD, please? We need to change your nappy darling then you can go back to playing, ok?"

DD: screams no at me then runs off laughing and giggling....

And repeat....... until I'm forced to take control of the situation because I don't want her sitting in her own mess for too long.

I've always communicated with her about everything, from birth in fact, even when she had no words and no clue what I was saying.

She has around 20-25 words now and says these occasionally whilst babbling constantly / singing etc - she just can't communicate with me coherently too express her needs just yet and that's where the frustration is for her I assume.

It's bloody hard.

This makes so much sense!

Thank you