To think I wouldn’t ask for money?

[Illbeindenial]

I’m visiting my cousin in Paris next weekend and she’s messaged me to say I’ll need to make a money contribution for my stay

I get there Friday evening and leave Sunday and I’ll be sleeping on the sofa. I get it’s a touristy city but I am going to see her, I’m not staying there and going off to see other people or go to an event.

I don’t know, I just personally wouldn’t charge a family member to stay for such a short time.

And they particular poster is generally the one！

Apparently this one is always ‘the one’.

Ha, I didn’t see your post 😁

Did she pay you?

Is she really struggling for money at the moment, it’s bizarrely inhospitable since she invited you.

how much has she asked for? I think I’d be inclined to say I was planning on buying dinner on Friday but if you prefer cash I’m happy to split when we go out.

If she stayed with you and you didn't charge her anything then I'd message back that you assumed that you would be quits after her stay with you???

@userxx

You enjoy baiting don't you.

I actually knew this would be you before I even saw the poster name.

And it's SO often THAT one!!

Almost guaranteed these days, if you happen across some out-of-left-field weapons-grade bollox early on in a thread, you know who it is w/o even looking.

@JennyJungle Mate, she’s not being serious ffs.

@Butchyrestingface

yep!! I generally read through threads, just reading the comments, but certain posts you just know who it's going to be before looking at the poster name! They're so predictable!!

This has actually made me weep with laughter, thank you. Obviously I’ll charge you for the half a tissue I’ve dabbed my face with.

Food is quiet a bit more expensive in Paris. There is a difference also, as to when you are by yourself, you eat and heat a lot more cheaply, beans on toast, with a throw rug, than if you have a guest. you went in summer whereas it will be cold in Paris. They could be just managing to get by.

How? OP is going to stay with the cousin and see them. That's not freeloading, that's visiting family.
OP hasn't said they won't treat cousin to a meal, etc.

No idea what you find 'grabby' about the situation.

I had a friend come and stay for a week on our sofabed in our tiny flat in a tourist city. I didn't ask for any money but it certainly grated by the end of the week when she hadn't bought anything to eat all week, nor offered to cook/wash up, or even bought me a drink! She did however gradually fill up our tiny flat with bags and bags of shopping (mainly flea markets) until we were literally tripping over it all the time. I also remember her spending a huge amount on sweets (to take home).

I never invited her again.

MNHQ shouldn't have deleted that, it was the furthest reach I've ever seen 😂

She visited a couple of months back and we both said I should visit her.

Then, all other things being equal, I would say "Just take it off the money you owe me for when you stayed with me"

I do think it depends a bit on both your financial circumstances though.

Did she stay with you when she visited OP?
If so I presume you didn't charge.
I'd respond and ask her why she's asking for money as you didn't when she stayed with you. If she paid for a meal or brought a hostess gift, then say you intend to reciprocate on a similar level.

No, her parents live near me and understandably she wanted to stay with them.

I would of course had her stay with me if she’d wanted.

We have never asked for a contribution from visitors when living overseas, however looking back I think we should have -it's amazing how many of them wanted to see us every year when we lived overseas and the accommodation and a lot of meals were free but don't have time to text or meet up for a coffee when we live in the same country. We are planning another move in a few years -overseas again-and they will be asked for a contribution if we have not seen us while we have been home.

It seems tight for a weekend but if you live in a place people like to visit it can mount up. We moved to a seaside town in Devon, it's OK now we can afford visitors but in the early days when I had two kids at uni and 2 school age and we didn't have any spare money it was a nightmare sometimes. It isn't just about providing a couple of extra meals because you tend to do fancier meals when you have guests and you end up spending above your normal budget, so if she might not have a lot of spare cash and she is asking for a reasonable amount I don't think it is terrible.

How much is she asking?

If it is a nominal fee to help with any additional electric/gas then I wouldnt be bothered, if it was more than I would be paying at a hotel, then I would be.

No way would I charge a friend/family member to sleep on the sofa for a couple of nights. What extra costs will she actually be incurring with you being there?! If you were staying a few weeks/months it would be acceptable towards cost of extra power used/food/etc but YANBU in this situation.

Is she British?
If she's French she maybe doesn't realise that this is really rude.
I'd just be blunt and ask her how much she wants then. Say you thought that she wanted you to visit and stay with her, but perhaps you misread the situation and if that is the case you'll either cancel or look for a hotel [ I checked and a semi decent one would be £250-300 for two nights though].