To think I wouldn’t ask for money?

[Illbeindenial]

I’m visiting my cousin in Paris next weekend and she’s messaged me to say I’ll need to make a money contribution for my stay

I get there Friday evening and leave Sunday and I’ll be sleeping on the sofa. I get it’s a touristy city but I am going to see her, I’m not staying there and going off to see other people or go to an event.

I don’t know, I just personally wouldn’t charge a family member to stay for such a short time.

You need to give more details? Did you ask to stay or did she invite you? Would you stay with her if she lived somewhere boring or is it just because she is in Paris.

We've lived in a number of touristy places and would have people asking to stay all the time. They were coming to see us but they were also coming because of where we were living.

How old is she?

How ? 2 nights on a sofa ?

What is she charging you for?
I stayed with a friend this year for a week and we agreed to split the food bill and petrol bill for her car. I wouldn’t expect her to feed me.

Yanbu, I would rather go to a hotel which will include a proper breakfast st least. For 2 days, she sounds really mean to do this.

You have to give more details!

If you aren’t that close and you’ve invited yourself to stay when she’s a penniless student I would give a different answer than in a situation where you’ve hosted the cousin annually for a week for 25 years, pay for everything and she’s begged you to come for this weekend!

Oh no !!
Go to a hotel in that case - you'll find a premier inn or similar and you can sleep in a bed 😬 you can't be expected to pay when you'll be sleeping on a sofa.. then pay for hotel and sleep in a bed !

I wouldn't charge a cousin to sleep on the sofa who's coming to see me. How much does she want? Is it towards food?
.

I agree, I’d much rather be comfortable in a hotel, tbh.

i would book a hotel and arrange to meet her over the weekend and you can split the cost of meals, etc.

Has she said how much and what for? My 2 friends stayed for a fortnight with me in Paris on my floor. I did not ask for money.

I would never ask for money from a guest in my home. Or accept it if offered. It is nice if a guest takes the host out for a meal or smth, but it shouldn't be a transaction.

She is entitled to ask and you are entitled to decline and stay elsewhere.

Living in Paris she no doubt has a constant stream of visitors and whatever your protests, it costs to have guests.
I admire her frankness.

Stay elsewhere. She will probably make you pay for her meals as well.

And she’ll expect to stay with you or your family for free when she visits. Her type always do.

What on earth?

I wouldn't go. If you still want to I would find a hotel and meet up with her at a restaurant where you split the bill or pay for your own. I wouldn't pay to sleep on someone's sofa. I'd buy a takeaway or contribute to cooking a meal but you are literally there for a weekend.

I'd decline to visit. Either your cousin wants to see you, or she doesn't.

I say she is being U as it's late notice, and mean to charge family. It's normal to bring a gift to hosts, and perhaps pay for a meal out. It's not fair to ask for cash, unless they genuinely can't afford for you to stay over. Given this is 2 nights on a sofa it doesn't sound like you will be costing your host much. How much are they expecting?

I'd cancel the visit

How odd, did she invite you?!

I wouldn't charge you but is she struggling for money? Maybe the extra food and heating will push her to far?

We used to live abroad and all visitors stayed for free, picked up from the airport etc but they all treated us to meals out and stuff. Would you do that?

What weird shit are you smoking? Whatever it is, you're taking waay too much.

PMSL - ignore this @Illbeindenial Your cousin is taking the piss. Charging you to stay for 2-3 days and sleep on the sofa?! Tell her to do one. Book a budget hotel.

2x nights sofa rent. 2x showers. Towel rental + hot wash. 5x wee flushes, 2x poo ones; 7x goes on the tap and soap. I expect you’ll make a cup of tea so that’s a boil of the kettle, % use of the fridge for milk, mug to wash up, plus the tea bag, milk, sugar if you take it. Perhaps two cups of tea, one for each day! Do you breathe air? What about wiping your feet on the mat? You can see how it all adds up.

When a relative comes to visit me, I keep on mind they have incurred the expense of travel and try to offer hospitality in exchange.

it Is fair that she doesn’t have to cover your meals for the weekend, but I can’t imagine begrudging a relative the cost of a shower or a cup of tea after their travels.

Did she invite you or did you invite yourself?

I'd guess she's getting fed up of people sleeping on her sofa. And probably feeding them too. How much is she asking for?

Ask her how much she wants and see if you can get a hotel or Airbnb for around the same amount. I'd then meet her for a coffee - do not pay for hers - and do your own thing for the rest of the weekend.