To be very pissed off at:

[ILiveinhope]

My sister had a baby yesterday. A darling little baby girl.

I spent 4 hours today driving there and back, and was delighted at how beautiful she is. We spent an hour in wonderment at the beautifulness of her!

Brother in law's brother and sister in law went to visit tonight. And sister in law spent more than half and hour crying outside the room. My Sister's husband evenytually went outside and asked if she could leave, because she was upsetting my sister (understanbally) sp!!! because of welcoming the baby, she was outside apparently incosable.

She at that stage came in and offered my sis her congrats, through tears. She never even looked at her. Held her. Nothing

Got this far.

This is because she had a miscarriage 6 years ago at 18 weeks, she has since had a lovely little girl who is now 4 and lovely,

The 4 year old was witness to the whole thing, and my sister is really upset that her lovely little girl has not been welocmed but become part of something else.

I am furious.

I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks 3 months later my sil had a baby boy,I saw him for the first time when he was two weeks old at my in laws house, I remember so clearly seeing him for the first time and making my exit as quickly as I could without being rude to go into the garden and cry my eyes out still makes me cry now remembering. I was shocked at how upset I got I really hadnt expected to be.

A miscarriage is very hard at any age, but later ones such as she suffered at 18 weeks are hard its very obivously a baby and very hard to cope with, I dont think the pain ever goes completely it just becomes easier to live with

She should have gone somewhere to cry and her husband should have gone and supported her, it sounds like she needed it

I'm trying to get to grips with the fact that, after leaving her out there for half an hour, the first thing anyone did was go and ask that she leave!

Your sister has all the joy of a new baby. Does she really need sympathy here? Her sister-in-law, on the evidence of what you have said, deserved a good deal more compassion than she received.

yabu - I am sure your sil would do anything not to feel this way. agree with yurt that things can take you unawares - I am still surprised at what brings back the pain I felt losing a baby at 21 weeks.

And its mortifying when it happens (quite often it'll be someone else taking about their happy events) but its also very difficult to control.

I'm sorry it upset your sis but i do feel for your sil.

YABU. I'm qute shocked that SIL's partner/husband left her to howl for so long.

My sympathies are entirely with OP's SIL. YABU

YABU.

Poor, poor woman. Crying her eyes out alone until someone comes out and tells her to shut up and go away.

Your poor SIL

She probably wasn't crying out of spite. My grandma lost her first baby and would still have a cry every so often right up until she died almost 80 years later. I would have been upset if I was your sis but upset for the other woman who is grieving for her child rather than for myself. I don't see how the new baby has become part of something else.

IMHO you never 'get over' a miscarriage since it always goes with you to some extent but I can appreciate your sister was distressed. Did no-one go to comfort her, crying for 1.5 hours? Poor lady. I'd have crawled out of my bed myself had I heard her crying .