Hidden photos

[Doingslightlybetterthanjuliaoffmotherland]

Been with DP for 3.5 years. He is divorced, 2 children, same situation with me and we have blended our family and live together, for the last 12 months

Recently he has seemed slightly withdrawn from our relationship - hardly any intimacy. We hardly have sex, cuddles, anything really that we had been like previously. It’s like he makes zero effort

I’m slightly insecure anyway - I’ve been cheated on in past relationships and indeed my ex cheated on me whilst I was pregnant so my trail of thought very quickly led me to ‘is there someone else?’

So - I’m not proud of this - I looked through his phone today for the first time ever. I’m pleased to say I actually found no evidence of any affairs, other women etc. So all good there!

Anyway, I found the ‘hidden photos’ but on his phone which had very racy photo I have ever sent him whilst we’ve been together - which is all good, great to see he saved them! BUT The issue I have here is that I found about 50 photos and videos of women he had been seeing just before he met me - why does he still have them? Does he still look at them??

I do know who some of these women are - they were women I know he removed from his social media, some immediately after he met me and some I know stayed on there longer - I’m 100% certain he has no contact with them - but why still keep all the photos and videos? It just feels very disrespectful and just plain sneaky to be honest

Haha yeah, no matter how she tries to justify it!

Off topic a bit but he's had his phone longer than your relationship???
Sounds like it's run its course.

Yes it's a bit weird and unsettling but harmless on the scale of things.

Maybe work out whether it's such a big deal as he's not contacting them, it's just a bit of a fantasy for him.

This. You've found no evidence of cheating /wrongdoing.

Why aren't you more focused on communicating with him about the relationship and understanding what's gone off for him /if you can work through it/both want to?

why does he still have them? Does he still look at them??

As a trophy - ”I fucked that once”.

To jerk off to them

Maybe send them / trade them with other men to (oddly lot of men do this)

To see them naked frozen in time, as they age / loose looks in real life, he wants to remeber how they once were hot….

Ego thing.

What? Why would you assume that?

It’s an iPhone, he’ll just be transferring his stuff when he gets a new phone.

You invaded his privacy, and there is never an excuse to do that. Even if you had found out he had cheated.

Unpopular opinion marine but if there is good reason to suspect someone, And the partner was lying, I wouldn't blame them for snooping at all.

Generally, no, you shouldn't invade someone's privacy but I don't know where this idea came from that snooping on a lying cheater who destroys your self worth is somehow worse than being a lying cheater who destroys someone's self worth.

Simple answer is just leave, but let's be honest, it's not always that easy

*I know it's not the case here, just my opinion