School sending child home no tights

[krj2608]

Aibu?

My daughter is 5. She has had a uti for around 2 weeks. She is on her second round of antibiotics. She was off school earlier in the week as she had been poorly with it.

She has wet herself at school twice this week. Both times she has come out in a dress with no socks or tights. I have provided a change of clothes and there were two pairs of tights in her bag. I asked her why she wasn't wearing them and she said she struggled to put them on and no teachers were there to help her. It was cold this afternoon and also with her being poorly earlier in the week, it's surely common sense.

I called the school and was told "They all change in the disabled toilet in the office and staff are there if they ask for help, your daughter needs to ask"
She is 5! She's very quiet and shy, and wouldn't ask for help. Surely an adult would pick up she has nothing on her legs and ask if she needs help.

I'm a teacher myself and wouldn't consider sending a child home without tights or socks. I would rather the school called me and asked me to bring tights.

Could you help your daughter to ask?

She does need to get better at asking for help. The teachers dont have enough eyes and ears to concentrate on each childs socks/clothes etc.

Could she do it herself if you taught her at home? Or could she wear school trousers and socks instead?
I do think a teacher should have helped.
We have a lovely school and when DD slipped and fell (on a wet day) she was helped into some lost property /spare school shorts. I couldn’t let a child go around with bare legs in this weather.

It is a bit rubbish. Can you role play asking for help with her?

Can you send trousers or long socks, something she can put on herself?

The teacher was stood outside the door waiting for her to change.

They should have spotted that she had no socks or tights on. I would send her with socks rather than tights, as they are easier to get into.

Pop her in leggings instead

Trousers seems like the easiest solution. Easy to get into and her legs will be warm.

Would she be better with leggings and socks rather than tights?

I cant imagine not asking a 5 year old if they needed any help to get some tights on or at least 'where are your socks'

I think you might have to role play / rehearse her speaking up a few times.

Poor little mite. It sounds like she is still too poorly for school tbh to wet herself twice (of course not her fault, utis are vile)

Poor thing, eh. I would send her in trousers. There's the risk they'll send for you to take her as soon as an accident happens if you make a big fuss.

Thanks for the replies.

She won't wear trousers. I did put some leggings in the bag and some socks but these weren't used.

The role play is a good idea. I think we will practise this. She will most likely do this at home but not so sure at school. 

I wouldn't have sent her if she was still too poorly. Utis are rubbish. Although last year, I received a standard letter for poor attendance (early in the year) as she had been off a week with a uti and was told she needed to return as she is on antibiotics.

OK, then I don't see how they could have failed to notice, and then they could have asked her if she needed help to put her tights or socks on.

Are trousers permitted as part of the uniform? If so then maybe get her two or three pairs and send a spare into school each day for now. She may find those easier to manage herself, and you would be more confident that her legs would be warm enough.

Yup, leggings and a couple of practice runs. Let her pack the leggings and socks herself, so she remembers that she has them. Then if she comes home in either the leggings or socks, lots of praise for her amazing independence!

Why won’t she wear trousers 😕 what does she wear for pe? Put joggers in or leggings 🤷‍♀️

OK, crosspost there, I see she doesn't like trousers. Just leggings then. That will probably do. Or dark tracksuit bottoms.

I agree you need to practice with your dd, both in putting tights on, and asking for whatever help she needs.

You should be able to expect there to be enough support staff in schools that children who need help getting changed after an accident are supported properly, but unfortunately that’s just not the way it is anymore. The staff were probably too busy to go and find your dds tights and help her with them.

Surely as a teacher you have seen some children still coming into school with uncovered legs? I’m not sure why you think that should stand out as being particularly unusual?

Yes, did the school tell you the teacher was outside the toilets but due to your DD being unable to do it herself they just left her.? That sounds harsh.

With safeguarding do they not need 2 adults present for this sort of thing now and children around that area ??

Talk to the teacher/TA and ask if she could have some help to put tights on. If she can't ask, you'll have to (nicely) ask for her. Or if it's possible/easier for her put leggings or tracksuit bottoms and socks in her bag to get changed into.

If she can't do her own tights or ask for help with her tights stop sending her tights. Leggings from now on

It also seems that you need to remind the teacher that your DD is only 5. Lots of children that age would feel shy of asking for the help they need.

I agree they should have helped in the situation you’ve described. However it’s 16 degrees here today (NE) and has generally been a pretty mild week and my child isn’t even wearing tights to school, so the chances of any kind of harm seem slim to none.

I dont think the school are wrong. She is and should be able to ask for help.