To wonder how people have sex with adult dc still at home

[curtaintwit]

We have 3 adult dc in their 20s, one had moved out but has now moved back home.
Our home will always be their home but there's always someone home and I suppose I thought by now we would have some us time back.
To my knowledge they have never heard a thing but I can't relax knowing they are in their rooms especially at night when it's quiet and I know they aren't asleep.
They do go out some evenings but rarely all at the same time.
What do people do?

If you want some 'us time' back then dare I suggest you go at it 'hammer and tongs', break out the whips and chains and shout the house down...you'll find them looking at the property-to-let listings in no time!

In all seriousness, it shouldn't stop you having a sex life. Of course you'll be aware they're in the house but as long as you're not doing the above then you're entitled to your intimate time.

I have a 16 year old at home they don't really care. They have noise cancelling headphones.

Quietly

Why on earth are they still at home? Don't you want them to grow up and live their own lives?

Get a Tv in your room if you don’t already, and turn it up. I have 2 teenage DC but have been single until the last 2 months. So they haven’t met him yet, let alone he stay over. He’s got a pre teen and a 6yr old who likes to sleep in his bed with him a lot! I think we will keep this stage where he gets babysitters going as long as possible as it’s going to be tricky having sex with kids around. I know I wouldn’t relax in the same way. Hopefully by the time we get to that stage the passionate sex will have died down a bit! Haha

You win the prize for the most unhelpful, deliberately goady post.

We've got a 21 year old, still in Uni and living with us. We throw money at it. Trips to cinema, out partying with friends. I understand you have three and it might not be feasible.

I’d tell them outright that you need alone time and to bugger off this Friday night.

Helpful

We are lucky in that we travel a lot, we will have three month long trips this year and a lot of overnights/weekends away. Tbh we tend to have a lot more sex when we are away (COVID was a bit of a dry spell). Otherwise I am a morning person so kids are usually pretty reliably still asleep, we also have a lock on our door.

We were morning people, so our 2 adults sons would be fast asleep. I say were because we now have a 4 year old dog, who when he hears anything he’s straight upstairs and jumps on us, he can open doors so that doesn’t work. If he’s shut up downstairs then he’ll bark and wake up everyone. I just tell my DH you wanted a dog. It’s not a problem for us tbh.

We usually wait until we have the house to ourselves or try and be as quiet as we can, which isn’t easy for me. If I get really horny there’s always the VW Camper in the garage/workshop. I take him down a cup of tea and a bacon sarni but I think they’ve sussed me by now. No matter, a girl has her needs.

You need to get over your squeamishness and encourage your adult children to get their own accommodation. I'm baffled by how many people don't have sex with their partner because their children are in the house. How on earth do they maintain any intimacy.

Interesting thread, I've got the same problem coming up, both of my DCs rooms are directly joined to mine and the walls are as thin as paper.
Inviting my partner to begin staying the night for the first time this week.
We are even worried about whispering, let alone anything else 😄.

Well, having had 5 DC ranging in age from 12-30 we've just got on with it... we do have our own bedroom... you don't need a whole house to yourselves to have sex!
We have the younger 2 still at home, but the older three have bobbed back for short spells here and there. Sometimes they'll have a boyfriend/girlfriend in tow, so they'll have their own sex noises to worry about!

Do other people tend to scream and shout while dtd ?! Rattle paintings off walls and shake the light fixtures ? We must be doing it wrong. I don't see how it's an issue ? We have a mix of adults/teens/tweens here and I don't see how they would even realize we are at it . Sturdy bed , door closed and no meg Ryan moaning !

Just tone down the noise , it’s really not difficult

Tell them every Saturday night, you and dh want the house to yourselves and they need to all go out.
You're entitled to some time to yourself by that age living at home is a privilege on your terms.

Easier said than done if there's a paper thin wall between rooms.
You hide the obvious sound of a bed squeaking rhythmically.

Why would you even want to have sex with 3 adult children upstairs?

Adult children are staying at home later and later and it's not uncommon for them to be at home well into their late 20s or later.
It's also less common for young adults to go out these days.
There will be an epidemic of middle age celibate parents with children adults ruling the roost.

We have sex. Honestly never thought about it because adults have sex. DD often brings her fella home, I presume they have sex too. Never thought about it really.

You just have to go for it as quietly and respectfully as possible! Assume that if they need to they can put their headphones on. That's what we do (did, DS has moved out now, but I can see him having to come back at times). Sex is a normal part of life, your DC will block out (normal levels) of noise if they need to!

Sometimes it's the only option.

OP - quietly. Late. It's hard.

Just do it..they are adults they should understand.

Maybe speak to your son. I have an 18 year old and he says it's my sex life and I can do what I like. same goes for him. Sex shouldn't be embarrassing and should be spoken about more IMHO.

Because it's normal.