To think it’s unkind to hoot at someone stuck on a box junction?

[AsIfByMagic123]

I am an utter cretin, I know, and never should have entered the box junction without being certain I could clear it, as per the Highway Code. I’ve done the theory test and know this full well. Quite how I ended up in that situation I’m not exactly sure. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately (waiting for biopsy results in particular, plus my father had surgery yesterday) but that’s no excuse. I genuinely thought I could clear it but was mistaken and ended up stuck in front of a red light.

People, understandably, were absolutely furious. But by the time it had happened, there wasn’t realistically anything I could do. Driving through the red light would not only have been illegal but could have caused an accident.

I really wish people would have some compassion and realise it was a genuine mistake made by someone under stress. We all slip up from time to time. None of us are perfect.

Yet maybe some of those I inconvenienced were on their way to hospital appointments or to be at the bedside of dying loved ones. Go on, flame me even more and make feel bad! I feel like I deserve it today. I’m a total arse, aren’t I?

Oh God I've just remembered doing this in South Kensington trying to turn right onto a main road and getting stuck between a honking bus and a chelsea tractor driven by minor royalty (or confident enough in himself to be). The kids picked that moment to start playing the Hamster song over the bluetooth. I'm really enjoying not being there any more even if it was years ago.

I've had a situation at a box junction (in North London where there's points and fines available for transgressions) where my path was clear, I've moved forward and some wanker has pulled over from another lane into mine leaving me in the box junction. They aren't foolproof.
Ignore the hoots, it's not what a horn is for. AlthoughI use mine a lot on a particular roundabout at idiots with no indicators or lane discipline

Sometimes it's possible to get stuck in a box without having done anything wrong. Your exit can be clear when you enter, but it can become blocked before you can get to it. For example, if you're turning right and your exit is clear, but you can't get to it because there's a stream of oncoming traffic. Normally you can just wait and go when the stream clears, but if traffic backs up on the road you're trying to get into, you may find that by the time the oncoming stream has cleared there's no longer space at the exit you want and you're stuck in the box. So I think it's unreasonable to automatically think that someone stuck in a box is to blame.

You were blocking the road, they beeped

Meh. It's one of those things. You made a mistake, no one was harmed

There was a story in the news yesterday of a bloke who deliberately obstructed an ambulance (slowing down in front of it and stopping it being able to pass). That is an example of someone who shouldn't drive.

You made a mistake and you will learn from it. You didn't hurt anyone. A few people were annoyed but they will all have forgotten about it by now. Don't be too harsh on yourself.

lol @Mardyface

And @Meseekslookatme I was just about to post exactly that! The only time I've ever blocked a yellow box was when some absolute twatface, who was annoyed at me refusing to go into the box until there was enough space to get out of it, overtook me at 100mph and cut me up, stranding me in the box. He probably thought he was a good and clever driver. I spent the next two minutes waving my middle finger at him.

This, I was wondering if this is what has happened to the OP. But everyone is piling in to condemn and ignoring the posts saying this can legitimately happen.

I really wish people would have some compassion and realise it was a genuine mistake made by someone under stress. We all slip up from time to time. None of us are perfect.

This is true. But it also applies to those honking.

They may well be honking without thinking it through or may be under stress, causing them to act in ways they wouldn't otherwise.

But YANBU to wish everyone used their horn as it is intended, rather than to express frustration.

@MontyDonsBlueScarf in that case though the only people you are blocking is people who want to go down that road anyway. Or perhaps people behind you who would be blocked anyway if you didn't enter the junction

It does happen, but I don't think you can expect people to not be annoyed when it does

I'd probably get annoyed, but hey ho, shit happens. You're not the first one to do it. Dangerous drivers play on my nerves much more! You just made a mistake that costed all of you losing one traffic lights cycle. Don't worry too much. Hope biopsy results will come back OK.

That's what I thought.

Someone has been unkind to you. Why would you then let the Mumsnetters who just love to put other people down be unkind to you.

I live in London, so being hooted at, while irritating, is a common occurrence. Often its impossible to tell if it is aimed at me anyway.

We all make mistakes, though if you had caused an accident, having a lot on your mind would not be considered a good defence.

On a course I did (for jumping a red light - on a left turn and because I was late to pick up my dd - not that that is a good excuse...) I sat next to a guy who had been caught using his phone while driving. He couldn't stop talking about needing to visit his gf in hospital or some such. At least you knew you were in the wrong.

Plus I suppose you could argue if there's a steady stream of traffic your exit is not clear. But generally most junctions do take that into account

The thing is, most people that enter a box junction don't do it by mistake. They're just lazy/ignorant/thick/inconsiderate/careless (delete as appropriate).

There's one in our city centre that people
ALWAYS stop in because it's at a busy junction that sometimes you have to sit through a few changes of light sequences before you get anywhere. But by stopping in that particular box they stop buses turning from the bus lane to go down a side street to the bus station, and they stop blue light vehicles getting through (which I drive so know the frequency that this happens).

If it was a genuine mistake then don't worry about it. You knew you shouldn't have done it and you can't change anything about it now.

It does happen, but I don't think you can expect people to not be annoyed when it does

You can't expect other drivers to react appropriately when someone is following the highway code? So every time someone gets caught in a queue of traffic, you can expect them to get on their horn? No, I'd expect them to wind their neck in and not behave like petulant children.

In psychology there’s a phenomenon called Attribution Error which describes the tendency to ascribe our own mistakes to circumstances (eg I was distracted) while ascribing the mistakes of others to character flaws or morals (arrogant so and so blocking up the junction)

Other motorists are probably doing it in this situation, but you too are doing the same thing when you attribute their honking to a lack of kindness. Maybe someone was rushing to hospital to be with a dying family member. Maybe someone leaned on their horn.

It helps a lot to give people a bit of leeway especially if you never have to meet them again - it takes the edge off for you and makes it easier to shrug it off.

And yes, I agree with you. I don’t see the point of honking for the sake of it. You shouldn’t blow your horn if your car is stationery anyway.

I know it’s hard to be resilient about these small slights, when you have stuff going on. Treat yourself to a nice coffee and try and let it go.

It’s happened, it wasn’t great but I bet you won’t do it again. Why post to make even more of a thing of it? Hide thread and have a cup of tea. Concentrate more when driving, if you have got too much on your mind to drive well, don’t drive that day.

It was probably more dangerous to stay in the box junction than cross the red light. I'm guessing you we're at the lights for a pedestrian crossing if you had already made the turn so could have crawled across it slowly checking for pedestrian

This is a good point.

What if they were trying to get to somewhere in emergency? Waiting for bad news etc and you blocking the road delayed them.

The day I got called to get to my mums because she stopped breathing I can imagine being worked up if someone blocked my oath and delayed me getting there. As it stands she has already died, I didn’t make it in time. So it wouldn’t have made a difference, but I wouldn’t have known that.

But if you want people to ‘be kind’ and expecting them to assume you made a mistake due to stress, you should be doing the same.

I wouldnt have beeped. I would think you are an idiot but beeping is reserved for aggressive drivers.

I wasn't stuck in the same circumstances but couldn't see my way out of a very busy roundabout and the moron behind tooted at me..pissed me off..I got out and asked him if he needed to speak to me as he'd beeped at me. As a result he was sat behind me even longer - complete tool..

Was it on Euston road?! I entered that (huge) box when it was empty, as I approached near the other side of box, the idiot on my left decided to jump through his red light, I slammed breaks to avoid hitting him. He zoomed off, I tried to move again but as in the few seconds it took to sort out the car geara, the lights changed and the rest of the queuing traffic leapt forwards and went in front and behind of me making it impossible for me to exit box. Many of these geniuses chose to beep at me as they went by.

People are wankers.

God, people using their horns in situations like this are utter arseholes. Clearly the op had made a mistake. I'm all for beeping someone who is holding up a load of traffic by dropping or picking someone up but that's about it.

I couldn't imagine being the sort of person who beeps at other driver's genuine mistakes. I bet they're the type who tut and huff whilst barging around Tescos too. Blood pressure must be through the ceiling.

Op I hope you and your df are ok .

Ahh you were a total arse, but only for a moment, I am sure in the rest of your life you are a complete delight.

It's too much to expect people not to respond badly though, be kind isn't a reasonable expectation when you are sitting on a box junction I'm afraid. You just have to harden yourself to the fury and get on with it. Being honked at is stressful, but not the end of the world after all, just don't let it feel personal, it really isn't.

Sorry to hear about the other stuff you have going on. Try and be kind to yourself, start by not overthinking a stressful moment in the car. xx

It had already occurred to me that she was perhaps on the way to a hospital appointment or to be at the bedside of a dying loved one. Princes Andrew, Edward, William and Harry not making it to say their goodbyes to The Queen spring to mind.

I do sincerely hope that wasn’t the case and that if it was, the delay wasn’t significant. Whoever she was, I hope I that she was able to enjoy the rest of her day.