Hosting someone else's party, is this a thing?

[QueSyrahSyrah]

Twice this year we've been invited to parties (one engagement and one birthday) that have taken place at the home of some other person than the inviter - both friends, not family.

AIBU to find this quite odd? I can't imagine wanting to have people round for my birthday and any of my friends saying 'oh no worries, have it at mine, invite whoever you want' much less can I imagine actually asking a friend to provide a venue for my do.

On neither occasion have we even known the host, maybe met once or twice in passing. It feels really odd to just turn up at a strangers house for a party for someone who has their own perfectly suitable home. With a bit of social anxiety I feel uncomfortable enough sometimes at the homes of people I do know well, without hanging around as a guest of someone I don't.

Maybe this is a thing now and we're just behind the times?

This. Are you genuinely unable to understand that people do things differently to you?

It’s actually a very modern thing to organise your own social events. Even your wedding would have been organised by your mother. The idea was that Mother had decades of experience in planning parties so planning her daughter’s big day was the peak of her social career. Hence why the invitation would traditionally come from the parents inviting you to their daughter’s wedding, not from the couple themselves.

Again; I was never talking about family hosting parties for other members of their family.

To be honest I'm really quite surprised by responses on this thread given the usual MN attitude of never doing anything for anyone else if it might put you out slightly (see numerous giving lifts, doing favours, lending anything threads).

You live and learn.

@ABJ100 Are you genuinely unable to understand that someone just might not have encountered something that's perfectly normal to you before?

I wonder @QueSyrahSyrah if it's a geographical thing, more common in some areas.
As I said before it's not a thing in my area of Scotland

You're a kind person.
I think the people who are anxious about this need to work on their own anxiety. Any party you go to will have someone you don't know surely?
Even your own party may have people bringing a +1 you've never met before.

Family yes, fairly common to host the party. Friends, no. I'd find that a bit unusual too.

I've hosted a few parties at mine for others, we don't have a big house but we have an open plan kitchen/lounge that leads into the garden so makes it easy for us to host. Close friends/family, not randoms, I haven't necessarily know everyone attending. Some people really enjoy hosting and like others have said some don't have houses big enough so someone else may have offered.

You ve never been in a friendship group and said oh it’s johnnys birthday on the 12rh, shall we all have a party I will host? We do this regularly. As said it’s not thr birthday person says hey can I use your house for a party but the host saying ou it’s your birthday I shall hold a party for you.

Your sister is a saint.
There's no way my Dsis would ever say of "course Freddy and his 6 friends from nursery + 1 parent each can come and have a party mine" She'd run a mile!

No. Where you appear to be thinking "Woohoo, turning 32" - normal adults think "so the fuck what?". Family get a card and gift, maybe throw a party if it's turning a decade. In all other years the adult will book a pub or restaurant, their mates all get them a drink on arrival, the end. Or some years, not even that, because it's just really not very exciting. Spend the time with mates at big Halloween, Christmas or festival events, or holidays; much more fun for everyone to actually enjoy.

Er, yes.

That's why I am happy for anyone to organise parties how and where they like and not find it 'odd'.

I do not decree that things that I might not have come across before are 'odd'. Just other people's way of doing things. aka people doing things differently to me.

The OP asked her question, people including me gave their answers. It's IABU.

DUH to self! Sorry @ABJ100 , you were agreeing with me...IABU 😂🙄

It's common for baby showers in my experience. Traditionally someone always throws the baby shower for the expectant mother ( unlike on here where people talk about organising it themselves). Could be a female relative or a friend. It's mainly been American friends, but I've been to a few for brits. I guess the Americans are less likely to have a sister to do it living abroad, so usually a friend

I'm guessing few of you did "round robin parties". We did them a lot with friends when young.

Basically one couple hosted the starter, then you went to another friend house for the main, then a third house for dessert and coffee saved on stress, cookin, money and washing up

It was so much fun and shared the costs out. Probably should be resurrected in these hard times

Are your friends from another country? My friend from abroad has done this before. I was mortified once because it was only after an event that I realised she had wanted me to host the party at mine. I hadn't realised until after the event had occured (elswhere). It may be cultural?

I held my BF's 40th at my house as my house is bigger and she didn't have to worry about organising it all. I wanted to do it for her and it was fun.

We're going to a dinner club party tonight. We're bringing the starter, smoked salmon mousse with salad, host doing mains, two other couples bringing desserts. That's something we've always done. Ten folks all contributing

My sister hosted my most recent 'milestone' birthday as she has a bigger house than me - and it was supposed to be a surprise but DP is no good at keeping secrets
A friend of ours has offered to host a wedding reception for us - they do live in a manor house though...not that we are actually engaged or anything, but they keep trying to persuade us to

"Come for dinner, yes please do bring a pudding, thanks for kind offer" = very common

"Come to my house for Annie's birthday party" = very unusual. I've only been invited to 2 parties like that. One was for my parents, who had moved away from the area and their friends kindly hosted a gathering for them when they went back for a visit