To just start again next week ?

[moneyistheproblem]

I have a huge huge to do list.

Majority of it is about bills and debts. I need to pay things, set up debt repayments , re set up direct debits that kept failing, chase where some of my debts even are now etc etc the big ones I haven’t heard about in months and they will need paying I was going to set up token payments of £1 per month for each.

Im so exhausted though. I have so much to do on top of all the above with the house and dc and appointments and im totally overwhelmed. I feel physically drained.

AIBU to just ignore my phone , not sort anything out till Monday and just start again then and just have a weekend to relax as I feel ill from stress? I know I should carry on getting things ticked off the list but it feels like it’s all I do and I want time off from it before I combust

Sorry very importantly I should have added i have ASD, ADHD discalculia and OCD so tasks and organising things can be really draining for me

I really wouldn't. Have a set time each day where you chip away at it.

Can you pick one thing and do that? Sometimes the hardest thing is making a start, and you might find once you’ve done one thing you get on a roll and do two or three more, or you might not and just leave the rest for Monday - but at least you’ll have done one thing and made a bit of progress!

That’s what I’ve been doing every day for months any spare time I’ve had I’ve been tackling this huge backlog and it has hit ‘em today I feel unwell from it all. The emails keep coming the phone keeps ringing I feel like I need to give myself permission to be ‘off’ till Monday 😞

Would you be better off speaking to step change/Christians against poverty/ similar who can sort it all out for you?
It might remove a layer of stress.

Me - not em

How many things do you need to pay or set up direct debits for?? Most of those things are just automatic. Why do you need to change direct debits?

YABU because it sounds like you constantly just bury your head in the sand and that is what causes more issues. You could literally make a payment on your phone in less time than it has taken you to make this thread.

The ASD & ADHD must make these things so hard for you.

Have you got someone who can just sit with you for an hour whilst you do some of the tasks?

Sometimes I find that "body doubling" helps DS get tasks done that he's been putting off.

I used to be with stepchange and actually found it harder as I had to send so much paperwork and go through finances and numbers confuse me so much plus they took mine and dc dla/pip into account as income I find it easier to contact everywhere myself and pay either a token £1 a month or £5 if that’s the minimum but some debts I can’t trace and I want to start paying those to improve my credit rating

If they fail more than twice they are automatically cancelled so I have to re set them up

Do not procrastinate on debt repayments or plans. You probably feel ill because it's stressful and it's not sorted. I agree with a ppn and would contact a debt charity for help and advice. Delaying - even by a little bit - is not the answer.

It’s only Wednesday. You’re being defeatist.

I usually just get up each day and start in the next thing on the list but things get added too and I’m never ticking everything off so I feel like if I just ‘give up’ till Monday I can focus on me and just relax a bit as I’m really overwhelmed and it makes me feel physically unwell

You won't have a relaxed weekend, you'll have a miserable weekend dreading the arrival of Monday. Get it done as fast as you can and then have an actual relaxed weekend.

Ah I see. I have suspected ADHD and debts and was planning to get them to help. I was under the impression they could find debts and stuff for you. Ugh. It's all so difficult isn't it!

I just feel like I’m rushing all the time. Making calls rushing to appts rushing to get things done before nursery or school pick up when I feel like I need a break for my mental health

Well putting it off until Monday really isn’t going to help, it’s only Wednesday! It’s just going to be hanging over you. Split your list into today, tomorrow and Friday and then you can actually take a break on the weekend and mentally switch off.

Don't leave it. Avoidant behaviour is rewarding in the moment because it reduces the anxiety you feel at having to complete the task. But then the anxiety returns worse than before and your confidence in your own ability is reduced because you know that you have already "failed" at completing the task.

If you pick two things on your list and tackle them tomorrow, and another two on Friday, your anxiety will be less, you will feel calmer and more competent to work through the rest of the list. The first step is the hardest

If you really are feeling unwell, can you look at some options that would give you a break from the debt like Breathing Space which is designed to give you the mental space you need to sort out your debts or, if you don't own your home, have you looked at a DRO?

Aw, I feel your pain OP.
Once you get into the "bury your head/ignore at all costs" mindset it is increasingly difficult to shake off.
Could you make an appointment with Citizens Advice? They will help make everything clear and straightforward. They may even deal with some of the companies for you.
All the best x

I should but honestly can’t face more calls or appts at the moment feel totally overwhelmed

I’m just worried I’m heading for an autistic shutdown as I’ve been trying for months and months and I’ve reached my limit

Also I’m behind with day to day tasks but I feel I can tackle those more it’s the ones that involve numbers and talking to people that I’ve reached my limit for

Perhaps I just drop those and focus on the washing and housework and stuff till Monday so I’m not doing nothing but at least I won’t be doing the stuff that’s overwhelming me

What will be different on Monday?

I think I can just feel I’m at the point of autistic burnout/shutdown now so need to have a few days ‘off’ to decompress to do things that make me feel better so I can avoid it happening