Would this concern you- DS school

[Hotchocolate101]

Sent DS to school yesterday, he seemed fine. Seemed tired but he had a school trip the day before and they had been outside in the rain all day. So put it down to that.
Got a call at 2.15pm asking to pick DS up as in the receptions words he had been flagging most of the day. When I picked him up in was in the corridor on 2 chairs asleep. His previous teacher was hoovering and seemed concerned. But no one was actually with him. He was boiling, barely able to stay awake, crying and whimpering saying his head was hurting so badly. I took him straight to the docs which is next door. The doctor saw him and he couldn't stay awake and the doctor seemed concerned so phoned a&e and got us bypassed straight to the assessment unit. He said it would be quicker for us to drive there. So I got a lift and sat in the back. He was throwing up and falling asleep and seemed confused. Got seen by the hospital doc said he was showing signs of flu. We are home now he seems alot better but still poorly.
Also we had picked a school meal for that day. He has a special menu due to allergies. He went into school thinking he was having pasta with a sauce. They refused to give it to him and gave him a plain jacket potato which he hates and so he didn't eat anything. We have had issues with his food previously where he was given his allergen twice. He could have been very ill. The head said I was over reacting when I stated if this was a child with anaphylaxis this could have resulted in a death. I had to get the governors involved.

Anyway back to yesterday aibu to think the school should have called me sooner. My DS has now made me aware he told a TA in the morning he had a really bad headache and felt ill. But nothing was done. I should have confidence in the school to look after my DS.

I’d imagine they were half monitoring him through the day but called you when it was clear he wasn’t managing well.
as you say, he was ok in the am (well enough to send him in).
Did you ask the school to keep an eye on him at drop off?
sounds as though they acted reasonably by calling you, but without having been there it’s hard to know, eg how the TA responded to him.

re: food, yes I’d be cross about that. Are packed lunches an option?

I think it partially depends on the age of the child.
He was obviously OK to send to school this morning, so I guess it depends on quite how quickly he deteriorated. School DID call you - pretty close to end the of the day, so had made the decision he needed to be seen, not wait another hour.

I think the food is a separate issue. Tho probably didn't help it happened today. Is jacket potato a safe food for him, however much it is disliked?

He was well enough for you to send in, most teachers would think twice before sending a child home in the morning when their parents dropped them off.

I'm not sure why the food is relevant here.

You sent him to school so he clearly spiralled quite quickly. He wasn't a child with anaphylaxis so I'm not sure why that's relevant either.

He's 6.

He very rarely has hot dinners anymore but because he had a new menu come through he was excited to try it. Apparently a new cook was in the kitchen and not the regular one. I raised a query about it with the school and apparently another diff cook is in the kitchen today so they didn't know what happened

Food isn't relevant here.

To be honest I can't see what school did wrong. You sent him in, he was fine, he started feeling ill, he told the teachers, they kept an eye on it and when he started to appear significantly unwell they called you. Seems pretty much standard.

It sounds like he deteriorated quite rapidly. You are his mum and assessed him as well to go at 9am. DDs primary would jolly a long and only send home if really unwell.
It sounds like the receptionist and teacher were keeping an eye. Schools don’t have sick bays.
If you would rather they called you at his first mention if feeling poorly then let them know.
The lunch issue definitely sounds poor I’d raise it by email and ask for clarification.

Hmm tough one.
school probably can’t win here - you sent him in in the morning knowing he wasn’t quite right. If school had called you when he told the TA he had a headache (I.e shortly after you dropped him off) I doubt you’d have been particularly pleased.
It really depends on when he deteriorated in relation to when the called you - he could have been flagging all day and then suddenly become very unwell and the called you immediately OR he could have been getting gradually worse throughout the day and h they didn’t call soon enough. Really though you won’t ever know which it was so I think on this one you probably have to let it go as both you and the school misjudged how ill he was.

The meal issue is entirely separate to this, and you’re right they should be making sure there is a suitable meal available but I doubt likes and dislikes come into it. They shouldn’t be giving him his allergen obviously but it’s not their fault he doesn’t like jacket potato.

It's relevant because he felt ill and not eating much that day prob contributed to him feeling worse. No he's not Ana but my point is the head was so casual about his allergies like it was no issue.
I just feel this is there take on issues such as the allergies food issues and now my DS being ill.

The food thing I can sympathise with as my son has allergies. With regards to today I think it wouldn't be wise to comment until you know the full facts. If he had gone downhill earlier in the day and they had delayed ringing you then yes I'd be upset but if it had just come on then obviously nothing they could do. That said though it would seem unusual for a child to go from perfectly fine to as you describe in say half an hour. I hope he picks up soon.

A stand in cook has served a safe meal (albeit not to his liking although if he was really ill he wouldn’t eat anyway) It sounds like policy of alerting staff to allergies is working. Usual cook may offer more options eg she knows where ‘free from’ foods are stored, has checked packaging but stand in has gone to a quick safe option.

Flu comes on really really quickly, it's one of the ways it can be distinguished from most other viruses with similar symptoms. If it is flu as the hospital dr thought then yes, he would have deteriorated rapidly. And as you said, his teacher was there hovering keeping an eye on him. It doesnt sound like the school have done anything wrong.
The allergy thing is a completely separate issue.

I think you've confused things with the food issue. He wasn't given his allergen so that's not an issue really.

I hope he feels better soon

Honestly it sounds like you are looking for reasons to be pissed off with school after the previous food incidents. It isn't good that they gave him the wrong food twice, and you were right to complain about it. I expect that your complaint is part of the reason they didn't want to give him the new pasta meal yesterday in case it contained allergens.

To me, having had kids in school for over 10 years now, it sounds like they handled him being poorly exactly as I would expect and completely reasonably. The fact he didn't eat lunch yesterday won't have made him significantly more poorly.

I hope he's feeling better soon.

With an anaphylactic child, there were times that he was given a different meal to what he ordered because the original choice was contaminated or not available. It happens unfortunately. If he was offered a meal that didn't contain the allergens, I don't think this is something to be overly concerned about.

You sent a child in knowing he wasn't 100%. The school called you when he deteriorated.

I'm not sure what the issue is.

You sent your child to school knowing he wasn't 100%. The school likely thought you were unconcerned so kept him until he didn't manage.

The thing is, you say you knew he was tired and not quite right when you sent him to school in the first place. I don't think most parents would be very happy if they received a phone call shortly after drop-off asking them to collect their child.

Monitoring DC and seeing how they are over the course of the day is pretty standard. If they weren't concerned they'd have left it until the end of the day and spoken to you at pick-up but it sounds like they monitored him and rang when he deteriorated which is normal.

The previous issues with food allergies aren't really relevant to your son having a headache.

I hope he feels better soon.

It’s good they erred on side of caution with food if you think about it. Especially if you have had issues in past.

I'm not sure why you're being given a bit of a hard time by others. I wouldn't be happy in this situation, I would have expected a bit more of a narrative from the school such as 'he has deteriorated quite quickly, or we would have called you sooner'.
I can see why you have mentioned the food as well, it adds to your nervousness about trusting the school with your precious child, especially when allergens are involved.
It's unacceptable to give a child a food they're not to have, you were right to flag it and it was out of order for the headteacher to make those comments about anaphylaxis.

I am not sure what action you can take, but perhaps a meeting to discuss the incident and perhaps find out a bit more about how your DS's illness progressed and the response from the staff?

I just wanted you to know that I don't think you're overreacting. I hope your DS feels better soon x

It’s hard to know OP. Kids can go downhill fast, so they may have called you as soon as he seemed to get worse. But then I do know teachers who are encouraged to keep children in school for their afternoon attendance mark.

My friend once picked her child up from school and he didn’t come out of his classroom at the end of the day. They found him asleep in another room. After an investigation, apparently he had complained of feeling unwell and the teacher had told him to have water and put a wet paper towel on his head. He’d done this and fell asleep, so they do miss things.

As for the food, they should take allergies seriously. You need to be able to trust them. My child’s primary was shit hot on any allergy stuff but we’ve had issues at secondary. Your son is so young, you need to be able to trust them. If you can’t, you need to think what that means going forward.

Sorry have just re-read ref HT comments. It still wasn't right for them to say you're overreacting.

YANBU. I'd feel terrible to get a call in the afternoon and for my dc to be sleeping on chairs, left by himself. Sounds like they should've flagged it earlier. He's only six.

Hope he's better now.

If you have time to be pontificating about whinging to the school rather than caring for your poorly child (which should be your one and only priority right now), perhaps it's time to reassess your priorities.

Perhaps they didn’t give him the pasta meal because they were concerned about contamination/allergens and you’ve impressed on them previously the need to be ultra cautious in relation to his allergens?

I’m also not really sure what you think they’ve done wrong in relation to the illness either. You also thought he was well enough to go to school this morning and you’re his parent, but you’re criticising a teacher for making the same decision a very short time later?

YANBU - there's some nasty posts in this thread.

Not eating can make some people feel very unwell; was he at least offered a drink? It's very unusual for well six year olds to sleep during the school day so clearly he wasn't well.

I hope he continues to get better.