Would this concern you- DS school

[Hotchocolate101]

Sent DS to school yesterday, he seemed fine. Seemed tired but he had a school trip the day before and they had been outside in the rain all day. So put it down to that.
Got a call at 2.15pm asking to pick DS up as in the receptions words he had been flagging most of the day. When I picked him up in was in the corridor on 2 chairs asleep. His previous teacher was hoovering and seemed concerned. But no one was actually with him. He was boiling, barely able to stay awake, crying and whimpering saying his head was hurting so badly. I took him straight to the docs which is next door. The doctor saw him and he couldn't stay awake and the doctor seemed concerned so phoned a&e and got us bypassed straight to the assessment unit. He said it would be quicker for us to drive there. So I got a lift and sat in the back. He was throwing up and falling asleep and seemed confused. Got seen by the hospital doc said he was showing signs of flu. We are home now he seems alot better but still poorly.
Also we had picked a school meal for that day. He has a special menu due to allergies. He went into school thinking he was having pasta with a sauce. They refused to give it to him and gave him a plain jacket potato which he hates and so he didn't eat anything. We have had issues with his food previously where he was given his allergen twice. He could have been very ill. The head said I was over reacting when I stated if this was a child with anaphylaxis this could have resulted in a death. I had to get the governors involved.

Anyway back to yesterday aibu to think the school should have called me sooner. My DS has now made me aware he told a TA in the morning he had a really bad headache and felt ill. But nothing was done. I should have confidence in the school to look after my DS.

My DS has now made me aware he told a TA in the morning he had a really bad headache and felt ill. But nothing was done. I should have confidence in the school to look after my DS.

But you sent him in in the morning knowing he was unwell. So you made exactly the same decision they did. Then when he felt worse they called you. He was supervised by a teacher when you came. Not sure what the issue is...if he was clearly that unwell in the morning you should have kept him home.

True. As a teacher, most parents in this situation would have said to me "he's not 100%, he's gonna give it a go but you can reach me anytime for me to collect if he's not right". But you just dropped and went.

Honestly, teachers really can't win. If you need to clarify things with his food (e.g. don't change the agreed meal please) that's totally fair enough. But I think it's you, not them, who needs to learn from the illness thing.

It's nice to read so many posts defending the school. It quite often goes the other way on mn. I agree that they acted responsibly - monitored then called you when it was obvious he was poorly. As pp have said, you thought he was ok at 9 so it is obvious it came on quickly. The food is a red herring but you're determined to find them at fault somehow. Maybe there are other schools you'd prefer.

No, the OP did not send him in unwell, she sent him tired - something that every parent has done, and there was a likely cause (school trip) for his tiredness.

Most parents don't leave phone numbers or say to teachers to contact them for tired children. Christ half of the children would be off school given that most don't get near enough sleep.

It’s not always possible to agree don’t change the agreed meal though. If the cook opens it and it’s gone off/they drop it/substitute cook doesn’t know where allergy meals are in freezer etc it’s not possible to serve it. Surely it’s better to offer child a safe meal albeit not what ordered than nothing.

Most 6 year olds don’t get enough sleep. Really? Who’s fault is that then? Surely not the school’s for taking the kids on a school trip a coupla times a year. Sometimes even in the rain!

The school didnt do anything wrong, you seem to think the school should have known he was ill, but you sent him in knowing he wasnt 100%. Ok, you think it was just tiredness, so maybe the school thought the same?
Could this be a bit of parental guilt in looking to blame the school? We have all been there, the one thing that would make parenting easier is being able to see into the future.

With the food and allergies, yes you need to get harder with the school and stress this is an allergy, not an intolerance.

WAY off base here blaming the school. YOU sent him in feeling off.

Yes she did.

anyway, if he went from "not unwell" to sleepy and hot in a short space of time then it came on quickly so the school have done nothing wrong.

Was the teacher hoovering or hovering?

If every single child who said they had a headache was sent home, there would be half the class at home!
Why are you looking to blame anyone? You noticed that your child was out of sorts but sent him in thinking he was tired after a trip.
He then said he had a headache. I assume he was told to have a drink and see if he felt better.
Later they saw he was much worse so they called you. You say someone was hovering around him and they had tried to make him comfortable on two chairs.

What else should they have done? Your child has he flu. I am also not sure what the link is with him getting a jacket potato and not pasta. Is flu connected to food?

What is his allergen? As you said he was offered potato which he doesn’t like, not that he was offered a food he is allergic too.

Also he has flu, they responded the same way most would, keeping an eye and contacting you

I doubt getting pasta and sauce at 12pm ish would have changed the outcome if by 2.15 he had a temperature and was so ill, you rushed him to get medical attention. You are being ridiculous. No one is to blame for someone catching the flu. You definitely should complain though so that no one at school is in any doubt what a pain in the arse you are!

I wouldn't complain about calling you when they did. Flu in particular comes on quite suddenly - I had it a few years ago and while I didn't feel quite right in the day I hosted a birthday party no problem. In the space of an hour (post party thankfully) I was completely floored and was very very ill for 2 weeks. It's very likely he had a bit of feeling not right in the morning but it could be put down to being hungry or thirsty without real symptoms for school to send him home.

Re the allergies, YANBU to have complained. And the food offer should be as per the menu

YANBU. I work in a school and any sign of headaches they won't go, temperatures or extreme tiredness, we send children home.

I'm glad he's on the mend, it sounds scary.

And yes, their approach to allergens is crazily dangerous.

Presumably your ds started feeling really poorly and they called you.

He was left to wait in reception where he could lie down and sleep.

Presumably the school receptionist could see him and they knew you would be there soon.

It wouldn't bother me but to avoid that happening again, you should keep him home if he's looking unwell in the morning. Kids can be out in the rain and not get ill, so that wasn't an explanation for the change in his demeanour.

That's really good. My Dr's would probably call the police if someone turned up same day!