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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say you can pay for it yourself?

46 replies

Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:19

My 13 year old son does cooking lessons every 2 weeks at school. There have been a couple of occasions now where he's chucked stuff away or wasted the ingredients. Take today for example, he had to put cheese and butter in the fridge at the start of the day at cooking is last lesson and the ingredients will go off. I went from shop to shop to get the entire ingredients yesterday, paid for it and he couldn't even be bothered to put it in the fridge so he didn't do cooking and all the ingredients went in the bin. Aibu to say from now on he can spend his own money on ingredients and go to the shop to get it himself? Apparently aibu as he's only year 8..?

OP posts:
hedgehoglurker · 08/11/2022 21:24

Why didn't he use the ingredients? It's not optimal but they would have been fine for cooking with if refrigerated at home before school. Unless you are in a hot country?

Skinnermarink · 08/11/2022 21:25

Butter is fine to be kept out of the fridge, ours is out all the time, and the cheese would have been ok as well! It was a waste to throw it away.

Original poster
Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:26

After almost 8 hours? My son goes to a school that doesn't finish until after 4pm (public school). He leaves home just after 7am. Granted, I am a nervous wreck about illness as I'm emetophobic but regardless, he was asked to put them in the fridge and didn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:26

Also keep in mind he's done similar with meat before. I feel a bit fed up with running round for him and wasting money and food.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 08/11/2022 21:27

Butter doesn't need to be in the fridge. The cheese would have been fine.

WaddleAway · 08/11/2022 21:27

Our butter is left out of the fridge always. In a butter dish. The ingredients would have been fine to use.

Headabovetheparakeet · 08/11/2022 21:27

I don't put my butter in the fridge at all.

Devoutspoken · 08/11/2022 21:29

He's a kid, give him a break

Changingplace · 08/11/2022 21:29

Cheese & butter will be absolutely fine to cook with if they’ve been left out, leave him to it.

Changingplace · 08/11/2022 21:30

Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:26

Also keep in mind he's done similar with meat before. I feel a bit fed up with running round for him and wasting money and food.

You’re the one wasting food though, the ingredients would be fine.

Starlightstarbright1 · 08/11/2022 21:31

My ds does food tech...he has an aldi insulated freezer bag for ingredients.

Food tech teacher has also stepped in to help at times

AmIThatMam · 08/11/2022 21:32

Just put it in a cool bag? To quote my 11 year old ‘I think you need to lower your expectations!’

Original poster
Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:33

So we don't think I should teach him some responsibility yet by saying he has to buy his own ingredients? This isn't the first time he's done it.

OP posts:
hedgehoglurker · 08/11/2022 21:33

Raw chicken I would have a problem with, but butter and cheese would be fine. They are milk that has been processed to preserve it. Not indefinitely, but 8 hours would be ok.

If he has a habit of this, perhaps consider sending perishable items like cheese and butter frozen? They will defrost by the lesson at the end of the day.

Flyingbye · 08/11/2022 21:35

He won't start the cooking at 4pm though will he? Butter and cheese should have been fine unless he kept them on a radiator.

Ask him what he's going to do differently next time, how he's going to make sure he remembers etc. I'd have thought an ice pack would be plenty. I don't think my son remembers to put his stuff in the fridge either.

Skinnermarink · 08/11/2022 21:35

No OP- you wasted the food, he still could have used them. No harm would have come to him whatsoever by cooking with those things.

Y7drama · 08/11/2022 21:37

I was also coming on to say those things would have been fine.

newspecs · 08/11/2022 21:37

i don't understand this whole problem. What do you expect him to buy the ingredients with? he's a child . also do you mean he didn't put the things in the fridge at school,? or at your house?
you have a long long journey coming ming with a teenage boy ahead of you .

Thegreenballoon · 08/11/2022 21:38

Yes, it’s unreasonable to expect a child to pay for their own school supplies and your emetaphobia is your issue, don’t encourage him to waste food because of it. Butter and cheese would be fine to cook with after 8 hours, or just put an ice pack in the bag with the food if taking it to a fridge is beyond him.

I wish schools would just collect money and supply the ingredients themselves, but if they don’t then it’s as much your responsibility to provide ingredients for cookery as it is football boots for PE or pens for written work. Yes, just like kids lose jumpers and break rulers they also sometimes waste cookery ingredients- you/school can provide consequences (presumably he was in trouble with his teacher for not cooking?), but expecting him to provide his own materials from now on is a bit much.

hedgehoglurker · 08/11/2022 21:38

Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:33

So we don't think I should teach him some responsibility yet by saying he has to buy his own ingredients? This isn't the first time he's done it.

No, he's a child who needs the ingredients for his education. There are things you can do to mitigate the risk, as suggested above - cool bag, freezing, etc. Feel free to post on MN if you are unsure about ingredient safety.

Skinnermarink · 08/11/2022 21:39

I do not understand how ALL the ingredients went in the bin- there were presumably a lot of you had to ‘go from shop to shop’ for them?

Why the fuck have you lobbed all that food away?

Devoutspoken · 08/11/2022 21:39

You sound quite harsh

FatAntelope · 08/11/2022 21:41

I don't understand. Was he supposed to put them in the school fridge? If so how did you know he didn't put them in?

WaddleAway · 08/11/2022 21:41

Whatalife88 · 08/11/2022 21:33

So we don't think I should teach him some responsibility yet by saying he has to buy his own ingredients? This isn't the first time he's done it.

Well no, not if the only reason the food is being wasted is because you’re a bit neurotic about it going off.

ohfook · 08/11/2022 21:43

Both of those things would've been totally fine, but if it's happened a few times previously I can see why you might be frustrated.