To say you can pay for it yourself?

[Whatalife88]

My 13 year old son does cooking lessons every 2 weeks at school. There have been a couple of occasions now where he's chucked stuff away or wasted the ingredients. Take today for example, he had to put cheese and butter in the fridge at the start of the day at cooking is last lesson and the ingredients will go off. I went from shop to shop to get the entire ingredients yesterday, paid for it and he couldn't even be bothered to put it in the fridge so he didn't do cooking and all the ingredients went in the bin. Aibu to say from now on he can spend his own money on ingredients and go to the shop to get it himself? Apparently aibu as he's only year 8..?

Thanks for all your replies. I've taken them on board and seems like I'm being too harsh.

Absolutely teach him responsibility. But shaming him isn't really teaching, and scaffolding is kinder and IMO more effective.

What were the other ingredients? Interested in both what you thought needed refrigeration and what required going from shop to shop

It's nuts that you think the ingredients had to be thrown away

They won’t go off in a day. This happens at DD’s school- the teacher throws stuff out if kids don’t put it in fridge. In a time when we should be avoiding food waste it makes me mad.

We don't store butter in the fridge anyway and cheese would be ok too.

But I would just buy a cool bag for him to use to take the ingredients to school.

It does sound like it's you who is wasting food rather than him on this occasion- so no I wouldn't make him buy his own ingredients.

I am also confused about a few things.

1. Who threw it away ? Neither cheese nor butter wold have gone off in that time
2. Why did you have to go "from shop to shop" - what on earth was he making ?
3. What would he use to pay for the ingredients if you didn't get them? How would he get them as you seem to have shops that only sell a small number of ingredients and he too would presumably have to go from shop to shop, but without a car, or the time to do that ?

As others have said, cheese and butter won't go off in 8hrs and would have been fine to use, so I wouldn't get worked up about that.

But as you have said he's done it before and with meat, I would question why he continues to do it. And if he is not allowed to be using these ingredients for his cooking class because they've not been in the fridge, then is there a bigger problem with him not getting the marks he needs in the class if he's not doing the required work?

Perhaps as others have said you could use a cooler bag with an ice pack to keep things cold. Or could he set a reminder to put them in the fridge at school? Or have someone (a TA remind him they need to go in?)

Granted, I am a nervous wreck about illness as I'm emetophobic

You clearly have some big issues around food; be very careful not to pass these Ron to your children.

Did you tell him to throw all this food away? What a waste!

Gosh. This is YOUR problem.

What 13 year old child has money to buy their own weekly home economics ingredients?

My son's pocket money gets saved for months so he can buy a small Lego set or something

Where is he getting his own money from that he could buy the ingredients himself?

In answer to the money, he has pocket money and money saved from birthdays etc but I asked the question and apparently aibu so I've taken that on board

Forgot to answer about who threw it away. He did, at school, the teacher said he couldn't use it and would have to help another child, so he ditched it.

I have 2 boys doing food tech. At their school they have to go to the food tech room and all food tech food goes into the fridge before morning registration regardless of whether its butter or flour..... all boxes named and in fridge.

A bit of overkill though, isn't it. As you say, he's only in Yr 8.

Get him the insulated bag with some ice packs and then it won't matter. Some kids are just scatterbrained. Work WITH him to improve, don't punish him harshly.

So, it is a school rule. In that case, I understand your frustration more. He shouldn't bin the ingredients, but bring them home and maybe make the dish at home.
Is he measuring, packing the ingredients and putting in his school bag himself? This may help him have more ownership and remember to put them away.

Cheese and butter would be absolutely fine out of the fridge all day. I never keep butter in the fridge and cheese is much better at room temperature.

It was your decision to waste perfectly good food.

I wouldn’t have thrown the food away, the teacher was wrong. He could have practiced with it and just not eaten it if it didn’t look right.

He does need to be more responsinle. Did he really say he can’t pay because he’s only year 8?

Next time tell him to add a reminder to his phone or write a note on his hand.

If he does it again then he does need to pay.

I get your frustration, but your proposed punishment seems unlikely to work imo. Like others have said, i'd work on trying to help him solve the problem first - so something like a cool bag maybe, or a reminder before school to go to food tech first and put stuff away. Is there a reason he isn't taking the food to the fridge? Maybe a chat to find out why he isn't bothering first. If he keeps doing this, then i'd let him know that you will want him to pay for the food, but i'd give him a chance to work on it first. It must be so frustrating. Yes those specific foods would likely have been okay (altho being carted around in a warm school bag all day would leave me feeling a bit ewwww too), meat definitely not tho, and no one can afford to be chucking food away like this at the moment!

I think this is your illness talking. Unless it was something extremely perishable none of that would have gone in the bin.