To not do this trip out

[TheOrigRights]

Plan was to go to play in London.
Friend is upstream of me on the train and doesn't drive.
Previously we have arranged to meet on the train.
She doesn't want to do this now due to train strikes and disruption. However, she has not come up with an alternative apart from me collecting her.

This would be an additional 45 mins drive to collect her, then further to drive to get into London (somewhere on the tube line), and the same on the way back.

Door to door it's about 2hrs for me to get into central London (drive to station, mainline, then tube).
What she is expecting of me would be about 4 hours.

I am afraid she is one of those non-drivers who don't seem to take into account what they're asking.

I'm not worried about the strikes. If more are scheduled then I'll work around them.

Obviously if she needed my help to get to an important appointment or something then I'd be more willing, but this was meant to be a nice, low key afternoon out.

I'm tempted to say "let's leave it until the strikes are over"

Suggest she get the bus.

CheeseIsMyPatronus you are a genius!
I'm so busy being put upon I didn't think of that!

My DH is one of those people. He does drive but only to work and back.

I would do as you say, “sorry but driving all that distance just doesn’t work for me, I would have to get the train. So if you are worried about strikes would you rather postpone the trip?”

Suggest bus or wait until strikes are over. She won't know she's asking too much of you if you don't tell her

Yes, just tell her it's too much of a journey to pick her up and take her home and you don't want to do it. But I wouldn't say sorry because you aren't.

Email sent!
Suggesting she get the bus or we cancel the trip and do a day out when the strikes are over.
I'll then just go myself, or take someone else.

She's a tricky character and it's easy to get bogged down in all that, but you've helped me take a step back and see it from an entirely reasonable POV.

I am afraid she is one of those non-drivers who don't seem to take into account what they're asking.

I think she sounds like an entitled twat.

Please stop driving her anywhere.

Funny how non-drivers always think it’s such. Doddle for others to do, so they don’t have to.

That's not my experience at all. I have come across some like this, but most non-drivers I know are very gracious and appreciative.

Also, if everyone else is on the bus or driving because of train issues, being on the roads for even short distances is hell.

Funny because my experience is the opposite. I'm a non-driver and will always plan a journey by train or bus, yet my driving friends will baulk at the idea of going anywhere on public transport.

Yes the same here, Adultchild

Well that's exactly the attitude you described here OP!

I'm describing one friend, not all my non driving friends.

She has replied. She doesn't want to get the bus.
Lots of waffle and then a suggestion to meet more locally.
No understanding why I wouldn't want to do all the extra driving.

No shock there then, exactly as everyone thought, my aunt is exactly this person. Absolutely no appreciation of the distance, time, cost or energy involved in driving around. Drives me insane.

Have you told her would it mean 4 hours of driving for you? Is she thick or selfish or both?

But have you actually arranged a date for the trip? Because surely the train is the best option unless you know for certain there is a strike on that day? Train strikes have to give at least two weeks notice so you can plan two weeks ahead and know for certain that the train will be fine.

I think you should just tell her you simply don't WANT to do the extra driving, like she doesn't WANT to get the bus!! Then cancel the plans until the strikes are over, and think about whether you really want to make plans with her in future, if she wants to make life difficult for you.

I did tell her. She is very intelligent, but thoughtless. I have not challenged her, and won't.

Well this is what I thought. I don't why she's so worried about strikes.
I think she just doesn't want to get the train and is using the strikes as a scapegoat.

I think that's what I'll do. I go myself and just make a local plan with her. In person we get on great - but the whole email back and forth does my head in.

Same here.

Can't you just say

Look friend, I'm not willing to do a 4 hour round trip in one day. It's too much driving for me and will be exhausting.

It's sorted out now.
It's not so much tiredness, it's just too much out of my day to spend ferrying someone around.