To consider never sleeping in a bed with DH again

[elm26]

He snores, grunts, coughs, elbows, fidgets ALL night.

I am 11 weeks pregnant and seem to be a lot more sensitive to this than I've ever been. I actually have thoughts about holding a pillow over his face telling him I am moving out over this 🫣

I've got the raging hump where I don't sleep because if I'm not up going for a wee I'm being elbowed in the back of the head or listening to him being an absolute hippo.

FWIW he's early thirties and not overweight, plays football a couple of times a week and works in construction so he's not really unfit, he doesn't smoke and only has 2 or 3 drinks at weekends.

In all seriousness, what am I going to do because I dread getting into bed and I'm so tired I feel like I could go to sleep standing up 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I could have written this myself apart from the pregnancy bit.

I'm currently in a makeshift bed on the floor of my DD10 bedroom because I cannot cope with the warthog next door any longer.

Knackered and have to get up for work shortly 😥😥 I feel your pain

Separate bedrooms are brilliant for the perfect night's sleep. I never get the stigma. If you have another bed go for it I say.

Hi. With my previous partner it was me who was ths snore. We simply got in bed together and if i started snoring,i often would wake myself up,i went in the spare room. He didn't like it,but I thought it was for the best,that way we both slept.we didn't live together. It made total sense.

Separate bedrooms, and if he's snoring a lot, GP review.

If you can have separate rooms, do it. It’s an absolute game changer and doesn’t have to lead to less intimacy etc

Anyone who thinks separate rooms means an issue within your relationship has obviously never slept next to someone who makes a tonne of noise in their sleep. DH makes noises that sound like horses hooves. If I hadn’t moved to the spare room I may well of murdered him by now.

if you don’t have a spare room separate beds in the same room helps with the elbowing etc
snd ear plugs helps with the rest

Separate rooms is bloody perfect 🥰

Get him to try mouth taping. Amazon sell like tapes you can use. It really works. He is likely fidgeting and restless because he is not getting good quality deep sleep because he is mouth breathing hence the snoring

Same apart from I'm 41 weeks pregnant and I feel like the hippo.
Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you (apart from smother him) but you have my sympathy. It's horrible trying to sleep next to someone who spends every night snoring, farting and thrashing around

Warthog 😂 that made me giggle.

You've got my sympathies, it's horrible having to get up and go to work on broken/no sleep.

We don't have another room at the moment 😢 I can't even go on the sofa because I get terrible sciatica (before pregnancy).

I'd be all for this as a husband. I live my wife and like the cuddles etc but I'm one of those "likes my own space" when sleeping sort of people and so is she. We no doubt have worse nights while sleeping together but really wouldn't think of separate beds.

I think as long as you reassure him that you still love him, the relationship is fine and that this isn't an end to intimacy (is it?..), and its just because of wanting a better night's sleep due to snoring etc, I can't see a problem with it.

I'd miss my cats though... they'd no doubt migrate with her :(

Mouth taping sounds like what I have visions of doing to him but would be illegal so to find out it's a thing on Amazon has made me excited 😂 I will look into it, thank you!

The farting! How could I forget?! 🤬

Oh and the fact his alarm goes off 40 times before he actually gets up.

Good luck OP, hope baba comes soon! 😁

If separate rooms isn’t possible then a super king size bed if it will fit, 2 single duvets and ear plugs. The separate duvets really helps if he fidgets.

Separate rooms is the only way to go. If I wake in the night I can still hear him !

In all seriousness, I love him annoying amounts and having a cuddle whilst watching Netflix or chatting in bed is one of my favourite bits of the day but I do think we could do that and sleep separate, I just don't have another room to sleep in otherwise I'd be in there at the minute, no hesitation.

He might need a proper CPAP machine.

He can go on the sofa.

I have very much felt like this too. His little face if I woke him up whilst he was snoring like a train, so sad that I was breaking his sleep! Me trying to explain that I'm doing that because he woke me for the millionth time and I'm contemplating smothering him.

The alarm thing is definitely something that he can sort out. I ended up losing it over this. He has less control over his body etc but has control over his alarm. It's so physically painful to have just got to sleep and hear an alarm and then they snooze it and snooze it and snooze. Grrr. He did not understand because he wasn't sleep deprived. He did stop eventually as I was getting so upset and had started not letting him go back to sleep after the alarm went off the first time. If he wants extra time in bed then set alarm later. I have mine in my watch which vibrates and wakes me though I'm not sure it would work on him.

You've reminded me that when I couldn't sleep in pregnancy I read the mumsnet guide to pregnancy which had stuff from threads on here. I may have woken him up a couple of times whilst trying not to laugh out loud but shaking the bed a little whilst doing so.

Yep. You’re pregnant. He snores. He’s the one who needs to shift.

We've had a double bed since we were 18 and I'd love to get a king but we paid for an orthopaedic double mattress a couple of years ago which was really expensive, prioritising my sciatica but we are moving in the new year and have baby on the way so won't be able to afford it any time soon. I will look into separate duvets though as this is some thorn that wakes me!

@Loopyloopy I will mention it as my Dad has one due to sleep apnea, will get him to make an appt with GP.

He can go on the sofa.

Haha the joys of men... my partner snores too. Sometimes mild, sometimes not at at all and sometimes like a great noisy mammoth!
He also wakes me when he comes in off nights, when he goes to the toilet, playing on his phone sometimes ... it's like they're programmed to be disruptive. He does all this and then if I'm out on the town the night before his first early shift he twines, I go anyways and remind him of the nights he wakes me when I'm up for work (it's like it doesn't count cos it's a week night haha).

Could you ask him to sleep on the sofa until you have the baby? Or maybe get him a blow up bed for the nursery as a short term. If not, get yourself a napping routine through the day. Fluffy pjs and crap on tv xx

I will have a look at that, I need a good laugh to get me through the grumpiness 😂

I have spoke to him about his alarm but the reason why he sets a couple is because he is a heavy sleeper and unless I wake him sometimes he would sleep right through them.