To consider never sleeping in a bed with DH again

[elm26]

He snores, grunts, coughs, elbows, fidgets ALL night.

I am 11 weeks pregnant and seem to be a lot more sensitive to this than I've ever been. I actually have thoughts about holding a pillow over his face telling him I am moving out over this 🫣

I've got the raging hump where I don't sleep because if I'm not up going for a wee I'm being elbowed in the back of the head or listening to him being an absolute hippo.

FWIW he's early thirties and not overweight, plays football a couple of times a week and works in construction so he's not really unfit, he doesn't smoke and only has 2 or 3 drinks at weekends.

In all seriousness, what am I going to do because I dread getting into bed and I'm so tired I feel like I could go to sleep standing up 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Urgh if I could have a few glasses of wine or a night out at the minute I'd sleep perfectly 😂

He has offered to sleep on sofa but I feel bad as he works such long hours, maybe I'm being soft and need to say yes 😂

DH and I quite often sleep in separate rooms due to us both snoring and fidgeting. We have lots of cuddles and chats before bed and then once I’ve dropped off, DH heads off to the spare room. He doesn’t do it every night though, maybe 3 nights a week.

I’m a very big fan of our separate beds - we spend time together for a cuddle and to watch telly but then we both get a good nights sleep in our own beds . Don’t think our relationship would have survived. And even better: kids and cats prefer the other half’s bed. I sleep lightly so they tend to get turfed out after a while whereas other half doesn’t wake if the whole family moves in halfway through the night :)

Another vote here for seperate duvets. My husband isn't noisy but is a terrible fidget. Having our own duvets made a massive difference. We can cuddle when we get into bed then I can roll away to the far side to sleep all wrapped up comfortably. We also have different warmth preferences so it's helped us be more comfortable too.

Longer term you could consider two single mattresses pushed together in one frame. We had that but changed to one king size mattress which I totally regret 🤣

A double is small for 2 people. If you at all can, upgrade your bed. If that's definitely not doable, a duvet each will make a big difference.

I love plugging in my headphones to listen to asmr if I wake in the night/can't sleep, and I'm out in minutes despite any amount of noise from DH.

@elm26 why don't you take it in turns to sleep on the sofa ? Then you won't feel so bad

Out of interest, what asmr do you listen to?

😂😂 hope you find a solution that keeps you out of prison. Being disturbed is SO annoying!

My dh snores so so loudly . He went to sleep clinic st rhe hospital ( nhs) he was given a mouth guard that je puts in hos mouth and it stops the snoring( some thing to do with how he holds self asleep) . Jit may be worth checking? His sleep was measured and the loudness !

@Workinghardeveryday I love the soft spoken role play - so I pretend I'm in a spa, or having a makeover. I also like one woman who does historical/geographical stuff eg tracing old maps, talking about their language and history. And another who does historic fashion. It sounds totally weird writing it down but I just find it so relaxing.

Hi hun how's you doing? Wanted to say I have 3 losses two of them which had heamatomas. I was given antibiotics after my last mc cos it was in 2nd trimester. And she suspected infection. Now the only support I will get it progesterone and aspirin pre conception. Would you mind sharing your protocol. I wish you all the very best sorry this is so random xxxx

@RebeccaCloud9 that actually sounds right up my street!! Thank you, I will give it a go 😁

This. Nothing nicer than curling up with a lover in the early days, but long term, in an ideal world, everyone would have a big double room with a king-sized bed to themselves.

The only good thing about my kids moving out was that I suddenly found myself with three spare bedrooms. It's bliss having a bed to go to when the snoring gets too much.

Dh and I are in separate beds at the moment (long story as to why - we haven't fallen out) and I don't want to go back to the same bed - my sleep is significantly better without him. He's hot, farty, he likes to fling an arm or leg over me (which becomes a dead weight when he's in a deep sleep), he sores, he dribbles, he reuses to wear pyjamas and smears his sweaty body all over the bed.

I do like him, but much prefer being in bed on my own!

YANBU OP!

Haha the joys of men... my partner snores too

Women snore as well you know!

Get one of the giant U-shaped pregnancy pillows that takes up half the bed? That way there will be something in-between stopping him from elbowing you?

I swear by separate duvets and ear plugs!