Problem with DD violin teacher

[MarkyMarky]

DD 7 started violin lessons in sept and I don’t feel she has made much progress. I encourage her to practise most days but the noise is atrocious. I contacted the violin teacher to ask why it’s so bad. The violin teacher basically said in not so many words that we must be patient and the violin takes time as it’s a very difficult instrument and implied that maybe she needs to practise more. This rubbed me up the wrong way as we are already practicing.

however DH is an accomplished cellist and said it must be the teacher as he’s musical and knows how to played stringed instruments. He said DD should be using her left hand fingers by now and making a ‘half decent’ sound.

I contacted the teacher again and said I’d appreciate more detail as what is covered in lessons as I wasn’t satisfied. She has ignored me so I contacted the local music service who basically said it’s down to the teacher to liaise directly with us, I explained that she was ignoring us.

I spoke with the school who said the same thing, the teacher needs to speak to us as there’s no-one else who will be able to help us.

AIBu to now make a complaint as we are not being listened to and we are paying a fortune for lessons?

Your DH is bonkers.

Has your DD attended any general music preparation before joining this class?

My sister is great music teacher (guitar).
Even in individual lessons she does "games" - rhythm, listening, intonation. There is no playing without it. Some stuff needs hundreds of repetitions and good teacher just makes it a game, it isn't game instead of learning, it it a game-enabled learning.

My old guitar teacher let us play only open strings for 2-3 months, my sister now adds first left fingers bit earlier.

Be sure that if your DD attempted Twinkle twinkle little star, it would sound even worse. If you can't bear it, switch for piano.

Congratulations @MarkyMarky

You have been awarded the MUMSNET WIND UP MERCHANT of 2022!

This just has to be a reverse.

My 7 yo started playing the violin at 4, well, sort of. When we relocated a year later the school didn't offer classes so I found a private teacher. It took about a year to reach grade one standard and the sound was hugely better with a slightly better quality violin.

I am learning to play the cello. It is quite different and sounds much better even when the student is not very good!

I agree that there needs to be daily practice. 10 minutes a day makes a huge difference. Does your daughter enjoy the lessons? Is she learning using the Suzuki method?

Hilarious. You haven't really explained why your husband the cellist isn't working with her at home if she is so shit at the violin. The teacher is perfectly qualified. Your daughter is enjoying the lessons and you have decided this isn't good enough. Good luck in finding a teacher for 68.00 per term. 😂

Violins are horrible at first
Even the kids at school concerts that were musically geniuses and now play professionally sounded atrocious for ages .
Second only to trumpet, and I was actually glad mine chose that after suffering through violin group performances

DH says it’s a load of waffle and DD should be playing tunes. We should get a different teacher right? I mean it’s supposed to be a violin lesson nota general music lesson

DH is talking rubbish. Tunes, after 2 months! I really feel for your DD. You are well on the way to ruining any interest she has in learning any instrument. Give it a year. Go with the teaching. Let her enjoy.

As a music teacher, losing your business would be a gift.

Be prepared to pay 4 times the price if not more for private individual lessons. These people invest tens of thousands of pounds into their musical education, tens of thousands of pounds into their instruments and upkeep. People who think their kids will be a prodigy after 2 months for 68 quid need to invest in their own basic education.

MarkyMarky, I love you 😁

Teacher sounds great. Your husband clearly doesn't teach.

Violin takes consistent effort, time and positive praise and encouragement from BOTH parents for many years before you'll hear a nice sounding melody.

Best advive I can give you is get a private Suzuki teacher who'll expect you to sit in each lesson and to actively (and positively) engage with your daughter's daily practice. Suzuki also run group lessons alongside private lessons, so your daughter will get the best of both worlds.

Google, 'British Suzuki Teacher List'.

But whatever you do, praise your daughter for any effort as violin is very challenging. If your husband expects songs quickly, best stick to piano.

You're expecting a SEVEN year old to be playing tunes on a violin, a notoriously difficult and complicated instrument after only 2 months of learning? Either your DH is lying, was some sort of prodigy or you're both terribly overbearing, impatient and pushy parents. If your daughter is having fun and likes her teacher isn't that the most important thing rather than how quickly she turns into the next Vanessa-Mae?

What do you do if you pick another "better" teacher and your DD doesn't like them and wants to stop? You'll have forever spoiled any joy or fun in her music just because you can't brag about how "gifted" and "advanced" she is.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · Today 19:04
YABU. If your DH is such an expert why isn't he teaching your child or at least helping her to improve during practice time?

This.
A small child doesn’t know how to improve all by themselves. He could help her with enthusiasm and encouragement as well as practical help.

Sorry OP but I think the problem is you and your husband's unrealistic expectations.

A teaching qualification is sometimes pointless. Most specialist music 'teachers' (DC in were in independent schools) are musicians without a PGCE and instead have the music qualifications such as AGSM,GGDM etc. They are very talented and know their stuff.

Just because your husband is talented does not mean your daughter will be. And 2 months is a ridiculous amount of time to expect her to play twinkle twinkle.

Do everyone a favour and pull her out. It will go around the tutors that you are a difficult parent and no one will take her on.

Violin pupils all sound horrendous at first. It’s a very difficult instrument. Your DC has only been learning a matter of weeks. If it still sounds horrendous six months in, then maybe consider.

This is so obviously a reverse.

The teacher's response sounds really clear and sensible.

Your DH sounds foolish. He's going to make fools out of both of you, if you carry on parroting his silliness.

He's clearly forgotten what the early stages of learning were like, doesn't know about violins, doesn't teach, has no patience for normal child development and no respect for professionals.

Your DH doesn't have a clue about teaching, does he?

What do you mean by an 'acccomplished cellist'?

Does he still play?

If you go down the individual route I hope you have deep pockets. DD's teacher charges £52/hour (diploma level though) cheap compared to her singing teacher, he charges £78/hour! (Disclaimer we don't pay it's funded by her course)

Teacher sounds pretty good actually! Your daughter is lucky. I would be quite dubious about your husband's poohpooing of focusing on the basics. By all means your daughter should be playing little open string "tunes" and rhythms but especially in a group lesson it would be foolish to introduce the left hand before the students are set up well. Have you googled the teacher? Apart from the professional qualifications do they have some experience teaching as well as performing?
BTW practising every day is great and she should definitely do this, but actually be focussed on what the teacher has said and be supported by a positive environment at home. Please don't tell her she sounds awful and at 7, do sit with her in her practise and remind her of what the teacher has said to practise.

DH says it’s a load of waffle and DD should be playing tunes. We should get a different teacher right? I mean it’s supposed to be a violin lesson nota general music lesson

Have you actually read the responses on the thread, including from those with actual experience in teaching violin to young children? Do you think they might know more than your husband? You have to teach basic music principles as part of the process of teaching any musical instrument.

DH says it’s a load of waffle and DD should be playing tunes. We should get a different teacher right? I mean it’s supposed to be a violin lesson nota general music lesson

And yet, your DH has not been able to achieve this with her whilst helping her practice! Given his musical ability he should be doing her lessons and responsible for her progress.

You what now?! The biggest shocker in the is the accomplished cellist you feeds fodder to your fire. As an ‘accomplished’ (grade 8 and all) cellist… it takes YEARS before a students’ offerings do not resemble a strangled cat. YEARS!!! And even then, only the ‘accomplished’ ones will manage it. Honestly! I think stringed instruments may not be for you. Best go with something like the piano (grade 5 here). Sounds okish from the start and takes years to realise that actually the student will never really progress from ok to making the instrument sing.

ps, if that teacher has any sense they ve seen the humour in your reaction.

Your dh is an arsehole. Does he actually spend time with her when she practices? Does he think she has mastered posture, bow hold, bow technique, rhythm, notation et etc? Perhaps he could get her to practice everything she has been taught and get her fluent by Christmas?

The teacher's approach is very good. Get the basics right from the start (posture, bow grip, bowing) so she doesn't have to unlearn bad habits later on. She needs to learn how to cultivate a good tone before she can play tunes. Once she makes a good sound, it all falls into place. The cello isn't the same as the violin. Husband can support her, but can't teach her. She needs a good teacher. Later on they will be able to play together, if she sticks with it.

The teacher is rubbish and your precious child should be playing like Vanessa Mae by now 😂😂😂

Wow teacher sounds marvellous. If you gave out their details, I d bet they d have a lot of business from this thread.

Not only is the work she is currently doing of benefit to your daughters playing it will benefit her health too if she carries on. Many of the people I learned with have repetitive strain injury as a result of playing. My wrists are a bit knackered. Violin especially - a good friends neck is not right at all. Good position is v v important.

Im genuinely baffled at your husband the ‘accomplished’ cellist. By accomplished you mean??!! Professional? Plays in an a orchestra? Teaches? Or played as a kid to grade 3 and hasn’t picked it up since?