Problem with DD violin teacher

[MarkyMarky]

DD 7 started violin lessons in sept and I don’t feel she has made much progress. I encourage her to practise most days but the noise is atrocious. I contacted the violin teacher to ask why it’s so bad. The violin teacher basically said in not so many words that we must be patient and the violin takes time as it’s a very difficult instrument and implied that maybe she needs to practise more. This rubbed me up the wrong way as we are already practicing.

however DH is an accomplished cellist and said it must be the teacher as he’s musical and knows how to played stringed instruments. He said DD should be using her left hand fingers by now and making a ‘half decent’ sound.

I contacted the teacher again and said I’d appreciate more detail as what is covered in lessons as I wasn’t satisfied. She has ignored me so I contacted the local music service who basically said it’s down to the teacher to liaise directly with us, I explained that she was ignoring us.

I spoke with the school who said the same thing, the teacher needs to speak to us as there’s no-one else who will be able to help us.

AIBu to now make a complaint as we are not being listened to and we are paying a fortune for lessons?

You clearly don’t trust the teacher to do a good job so there’s no point carrying on. She’s given you an explanation but you’re not still not happy so there’s not much else to be said.

I’m sure there’s plenty of other teachers in your area that could take on your DD.

I'd also suggest your husband teaching your daughter, he obviously knows the score. I just hope you haven't tainted the whole experience for your daughter already. Learning a musical instrument is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, not a forced and miserable one.

Are they group lessons?

Your DH is talking shit! The teachers lesson plan seems very sensible - getting any more than open strings at this stage is not going to happen! Getting bow hold and bowing correct now is much more sensible so they don’t get into bad habits that have to be fixed later on.

I’m coming back to give a proper response instead of just laughing at the first comment but she’s 7. SEVEN! She only started in September so it’s not like she’s been doing this for 5 years and still can’t play. You haven’t even given her 3 months which I’m sure still isn’t enough time anyway

Lol. She's 7! She's going to sound like a cat torturer for a long time yet.

Does she like the lessons? Does she like her teacher? Does she like music? That's the most important thing at the moment.

No your daughter should not be playing "tunes" yet. She needs to lead the basics first ... if you just storm ahead then you are going to pick up bad habits that will cause issues further down the line. What the teacher has said sounds absolutely correct.

It's also really important she learns to read and understand music . Otherwise she won't be playing any tunes anytime soon. It's like learning a new language . Might seem like a generic music lesson but theory and being able to read music is all part of playing an instrument.

I am also a cellist so struggling to understand yours husbands point of view to be honest .

I agree fully with that response from that violin teacher. You can't learn the violin without learning the fundamentals of music- they sound like an excellent teacher to me. And a very patient one who is willing to write that detailed response to you.

But yes, pull her out. Do that poor teacher a favour, she sounds like she is doing a brilliant job and she has you challenging and criticising her every move.

Look your DH obviously thinks the teacher is doing everything wrong. So you aren't going to be able to get this teacher to do what he wants, so best to stop lessons with her now. Maybe find a Suzuki method teacher which sounds more like what your DH wants for your DD than the kind of teaching the current music teacher is doing

Yes, you should definitely get a new teacher. Your DH is obviously an expert so he can teach her. Then she'll be playing tunes in no time I'm sure.

I have no musical talent but my 18 yo's started violin when they were 6 and it was row for quite a long time before actual tunes started emerging.

Op, have a go yourself and tells how difficult you think playing the violin is.

@MarkyMarky "we are paying a fortune for lessons"

What are you paying for exactly? Individual Lesson, group Lesson, duration? How much do you pay?

If you are going to stick with violin it will be an expensive trip, by the mid- teenage years your DD will need a full sized violin and bow, budget around £5k for something decent, 1:1 lessons for 45 to 60 minutes, intensive summer camps and trips to as many orchestras as will accept her.

Your parents in law have most likely already pumped this time and effort into your DH's "accomplishment". Talk to your MIL to see how bad it was at the beginning! Won't have been as bad on a small mellow cello as it is on a 1/2 or 1/4 size violin that's maybe worth around £100/200.

Lots of little practice sessions will help. There has been very good advice posted already.

Your DD may be learning an instrument that's not really suited to her but she may excel at something different. You'll have to let this pan out a while longer. If you are looking for instant results you can switch to a wind or brass instrument.

Maybe seek out a private Suzuki violin teacher, that will be a real eye opener for you, all the things that have to be mastered to progress.

Your teacher sounds excellent, your DH sounds like a tit.

Pull her out of lessons.

The teacher will be relieved and the space can go to someone who appreciates it.

YABU I play the violin and it takes ages for it to sound ok, especially hard on a small violin (and she’s so young!) I started at a similar age and didn’t sound ‘ok’ until
around 10! I got to grade 7/8 standard but it takes years to sound ok. You need
to be encouraging and pretend to her it’s sounding good otherwise she’ll lose confidence and give up.

Having been a violin playing child, it sounds horrendous for a long time. Get used to it

The lessons are group, the teacher suggested because of the age and beginner level group lessons would be more ‘fun’ for DD and ‘promote confidence’. Again I’m not sure this is sound advice, think maybe individual lessons will be more beneficial.

we pay £68 per term for group lessons in school.

I think we’ll look for a private tutor for individual lessons so we can focus on the violin and produce music rather than all this rubbish with singing and looking in the mirror.

DH says she should be playing Hot Cross Buns and Twinkle Twinkle by now.

I agree that the what the teacher has said sounds fine. Posture is really important and much harder to get right than the cello I think. And of course your daughter needs some general music tuition too.

As others have said, don't underestimate how awful the violin sounds in the hands of a beginner - especially a small cheap one. The cello is much more forgiving.

Going by my children's experience, it is likely to take a violinist more than two years before they make a "half decent sound". A cellist will be making a decent sound by the second lesson!

£68 per term really isn't that much.

Individual lessons will enable her to progress faster but will be £££ more.

Your poor child, it sounds like she is going to be under an awful lot of pressure.

£68 a term is well under a tenner a lesson. Your definition of a ‘fortune’ is different to mine. I assume this is at school?

My son learned keyboards which is far easier and they spent several weeks learning basics too. No tunes until about three months down the line IIRC

Why do you think the music teacher would be teaching "rubbish"? Do you think she's not qualified or not suitable?

What she's teaching is totally normal and not rubbish in the slightest. What it isn't though is pressurised hothousing or a more regimented and less holistic approach to music. It sounds like your DH wants or expects that kind of approach. It's a difference in teaching methodology, not a question of a teacher teaching rubbish.

If your husband is an "accomplished cellist" I'm surprised he doesn't know that musicians needs to understand all of the aspects of music rather than expecting to knock out tunes within the first week of learning a complex instrument.

Agree with others, pull her out of these lessons (£68 is not "a fortune" for a term of lessons) and try and find someone more specialised who can skip out all concepts of theory and concentrate on trying to achieve what it is you are looking for.

Your DH is talking absolute b*llocks.

Does he teach at all? Or has he just forgotten what it's like to be an absolute beginner?

The music teacher's plan is absolutely fine. Understanding the basics of music theory isn't "rubbish", it's an essential aspect of being a musician - they need to become so second-nature that you don't have to think about them any more, and that's best taught at the outset through exercises like the ones your DD is doing, which also get the pupil used to handling the instrument.

It's no good progressing to "tunes" straight away if you can't handle the instrument and don't have a good understanding of what you're doing.

She's had barely 2 months FFS! That's no time at all.

It's like saying "why are we practising all this nonsense about hill starts, I should be driving at Silverstone by now".

Violin teacher here.

Husband has far too much to say and sounds unbearable.
I almost am tempted to think you have made this up as some kind of satire ripping the piss out of posters who have these know-it-all husbands.

What do you mean by accomplished cellist? Has he studied cello? Is he a teacher? What qualifications does he have?
Has he not realized yet that violin is not cello. Violin is notoriously difficult at the beginning and can make an absolutely hideous noise. The instrument is smaller so all of the movements have to be finer than on a cello. The higher pitch does not help either.

Are they group lessons in school or individual? It sounds like group lessons. The things she has covered so far are standard for beginners. There are all kinds of reasons for doing a lot of musical work away from the violin. Some children struggle to hold up the instrument at first work - it's more strenuous than you might think. Many can't cope with a full half an hour playing so there needs to be other activities.

Each child progresses at a different rate. Some will pick it up really quickly. Some struggle with all kinds of aspects and those children need to practise more than others. If the teacher has "implied" that she does not practise enough then you should take that on board and try to do some more with her.
It might turn out that the violin is not right for her. It might turn out that she's not that naturally musical.
I do believe that every person can learn an instrument but some people are going to have much more of a struggle than others - that's when discipline (initially with support from parents) and later self-discipline kick in.