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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dad hitting his child on the way to school

56 replies

Mingmoo · 07/11/2022 10:22

I’m really upset by something I saw on the way home from the school run this morning. I was on foot and quite late and I’d dropped my DS off. About three minutes down the road I saw a man getting out of his car with a little boy in the school uniform, maybe year one but not older than that, and I was looking at them and thinking they’d be late and wondering why they’d parked so far from the gate. The man started walking towards school and called the boy, who wandered in the other direction. When the man realised he ran back shouting at him, grabbed him by the arm, hauled him almost off his feet, hit him two very heavy whacks across the bum that lifted him onto his tiptoes and then dragged him past me, telling him off. The boy was crying and hitting at him. Obviously I didn’t take in much about their appearance or car until it was too late so I don’t know anything else about them but should I have said something? My DM used to slap me and I can’t bear to see children being physically disciplined. I thought the boy drifting off was his dad’s fault, and that possibly he had SEN because he seemed lost in his own world, so maybe it’s something they struggle with. I just found it very shocking and I feel I let the boy down by not saying something.

AIBU to intervene next time if I see them in the same situation again?

OP posts:
HappyAsASandboy · 07/11/2022 14:46

Let the school know and give as much information as you have. If you see them again, and get more information on who they are (reg number? Boys name etc) then update the school.

If you ever see this sort of thing again, follow them back to school. When you see a member of staff, ask them to look at the boy and remember their name (they won't tell you the boys name), then go and speak to the office/headteacher and tell them what you've seen and which member of staff knows the boys name.

Basically do everything you can to report what you've seen and who it might be. Report the abuse even if you don't know who it was as the school may already have a good idea and could ask the boy about his morning before school.

Do not do nothing.

HikingforScenery · 07/11/2022 19:17

LateAF · 07/11/2022 14:21

Not meaning to derail but if you saw a mum slapping a small child repeatedly in the face who was wearing the school uniform but outside of the school grounds (I.e at the local park), would you still report it to the school? I’ve been sitting on an incident I saw last week but not sure whether to report, and if so, who to report to, since the family in question are quite scary and we wouldn’t want them to find out it was us reporting.

Could you write a letter and post it?

Mezmer · 07/11/2022 19:24

yanbu just reading this makes me feel sick

Greenshake · 07/11/2022 19:49

Winterscomingagain · 07/11/2022 10:26

You are being unreasonable not to have dealt with it immediately.Phone the school.

Definitely. To be honest, I would have intervened there and then.

Mingmoo · 07/11/2022 21:30

Greenshake · 07/11/2022 19:49

Definitely. To be honest, I would have intervened there and then.

He was extremely angry and I think if I had intervened it could have escalated the situation beyond where it was - also from when I noticed them first to when they passed me took about a minute from start to finish so there were no more than a couple of seconds where I could have intervened. I think if he was prepared to do what he did knowing they were in full view of me, he wouldn't have been remotely influenced by my intervention except in a bad way.

I grew up with a volatile and violent parent so I have personal experience of it and I felt it was safer for everyone to deal with it through the school, which I now have and it's all being taken very seriously. I did watch them walk away side by side, without any further apparent violence (although the boy was upset). It was a horrible thing to see. I can't stop thinking about it.

OP posts:
Greenshake · 07/11/2022 22:08

It wasn’t a criticism, just an observation.

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