To insist on choosing the name for baby

[goldenflowers95]

I was in a long term relationship that resulted in a pregnancy, dp at the time stated he wasn't ready for a child and wanted me to have an abortion - I didn't, so the relationship ended. He then blocked me and didn't speak to me for months. In that time I found out I was expecting a girl and picked out a name for her. Ex dp has now decided he wants to be involved after all and doesn't like the name I have chosen. I said I'm not changing it because I was under the impression he wouldn't be involved and chose her name when he wasn't around. He says it's not fair and he should have a say in the name now that he's going to be involved. I'm quite annoyed because I love the name I've chosen and can't see myself naming her anything else! AIBU?

Tell him to jog on. A say in the name after telling you to have an abortion. Ridiculous.

No, he may well piss off again when he gets his way.
Your choice of first name, and your surname.

Whatever about the first name, please don’t give her a surname other than yours.

Also yes, pick the full name yourself. Sounds like he won’t be around in the long term so doesn’t get to make long term decisions.

No, keep her name. It's unfortunate for him that he doesn't like it. As it happens, my partner (before marriage) wanted our children to have his surname so I chose the first names.

Lol what a chance. Give her your name.

I'm not suggesting the child gets his surname, BTW. Absolutely not!

Leave the "sperm donor" ex out of it. He has no say.
Give your DD the name you choose and your surname.

YABU... even considering this. Tell him to jog on.

YANBU at all
he only gets to be on the birth certificate by your goodwill so he needs to knock this nonsense on the head!

Surely the only response to this is to laugh in his face

He doesn’t get a say ! He walked away. If he is a wants to come back and be a dad then it’s on your terms now. Tell him her name has already been decided and it’s not up for discussion.

• if he wants

No he can get to fuck. Your name, your surname. If you're feeling generous you could suggest he could choose a middle name.
If your shoes I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate and let him go to court to be put on if he wants to, he needs to demonstrate he actually intends to be in this child's life before you allow him near her.

This entirely ^

Yanbu but I'd be inclined to at least discuss it as I'd be worried he'd just call her a different name during his time with her. He is an asshole though and has absolutely no right to tell you what to name the baby he asked you to abort.

Tell him to fuck off. I hope you’re not even thinking about giving DC his last name.

Definitely not his surname

What @maryberryslayers said.

Yanbu. Say that the name discussions have already been completed and that as he wasn’t then interested in his child, you discussed names with those who were.

"That's great you want to be involved.

Unfortunately I've chosen her name already and won't be changing my mind."

And yes, your surname.

No way! I actually laughed out loud at that. Tell the joker he can't just drop in and out as he pleases and make demands.

Yes this. Also don't put him on the birth certificate.

Go forth and multiply would be my response, only less polite.
Also tell the dirtbag he won't be on the birth certificate

I strongly disagree with the suggestion that the mother should have a greater say in the name, purely by virtue of the father's biological inability to be pregnant or give birth, BUT only when the parents are otherwise a committed team.

Where the dad is feckless, absent, useless and/or choosing not to act like a proper parent, I say that he gets no say at all.

Give her the name you have already chosen and your surname too. He lost his chance to a say

Fuck no.

And make sure you give her your surname not his.