To think DD will ‘get’ being dry at nighttime if I give it some time?

[Amzy22]

DD will be 4 next month. She’s been fairly reliably dry (except for the normal ‘I’ve left it to the last minute because I don’t want to stop playing’ accidents) in the day for a year and 2 months. She has been in pull ups since for overnight. We both (her and I!) don’t function well on poor sleep, so I’ve been happy to leave nighttime training, and the pull ups are usually wet in the morning.

However, for the last few weeks DD has been increasingly upset about wearing a nappy overnight. Tears at bedtime, very reluctant, saying she wants to be a big girl and use the potty. She’s a very switched on and articulate girl, so it just didn't feel respectful not to listen to her wishes on this, and last night we ditched the nappy.

DD slept through and had done a decent wee in the potty first thing in the morning. However she was also pretty wet, and so has also had an accident in the night which I think she just slept through.

I’m aware that some kids need to be older to have enough hormone to stop weeing etc, so am now torn. She doesn’t want to go back in a nappy, but I don’t want her to be sleeping in wet PJs every night. Is it worth persevering in the hopes she might ‘get’ it after a week or so, or is she just not ready?

I should add - for the aforementioned issues with managing poor sleep, I’m not keen on the ‘lifting’ approach.

YABU - she’s not ready, get the pull up back on!
YANBU - she will get the hang of it with some time!

Thanks 🙂

I'd put her back in pull ups and tell her when she has a week of dry pull ups she can stop wearing them. Then don't mention it again. If it's under her control she'll be dry at night immediately (I did this with DD1,she was dry all night but peeing in her nappy in the morning because it was warmer than getting out of bed) if it's not she won't. They all are dry at night at different times, my three were all dry during the day at just over 2 but really varied at night: DD1 was 3, DD2 was dry at night as soon as she was dry during the day, DS was 5 or 6 and older before he stopped having accidents if he was poorly.

Our eldest said he didn’t want night nappies at about age 5 1/2. Had never had a dry nappy but we gave him a chance, he was dry first night. I’d planned to wait for it to happen. His little brother who was 3 1/2 at the time and barely dry in the day said if he isn’t wearing them I’m not and was dry first night and you could count on one hand the number of accidents he’s had in the last 2 years. I think give her a week or so and if not promise to try in the spring when it’s easier to wash everything.

You've only tried one night? Keep going! You've got to give it a bit longer than one night. Give her a chance.

If she's keen to try now I would try to capitalise on that keenness. Brolly sheets are good - a waterproof strip you tuck over the sheets and just pull off in case of an accident.

My Dd nappies were never dry in the morning as if she had it on she'd just pee in it. But we just got rid of them. Yes a few accidents here and there but she hit the idea quickly.

I'd imagine she's just used to have a "back up" in the nappy. I'd just go for it, u won't know unless u try. Let her get used to jot having it and maybe an accident and it might click. I'm also very fond of my sleep too. If she's wetting herself every night then fair enough put it back on but I think u need to try for 5-7 days.

I felt I left it too late with eldest daughter she's was trained at 26 months. I left until closer to 3 for overnight nappy and I think she just got used to having it there and I can't be bothered getting up type attitude. It was often wet in morning sometimes I think she peed in it as soon as she woke up. So I went for it. She had one or two accidents but then that was it and she was fine. I cut down on drinks before bed just a small amount of milk and made sure she went to toilet before bed.

With my second she was toilet trained just after 2 and after a week I ditched the bedtime nappy as she was often waking asking to go to toilet anyway. There was only 1 accident.

It's hard op. Dd1 was 13 before it all clicked for her and it was miserable for her having to still wear them. We did the clinic referrals and everything but only time worked. She even tried medication and that did very little.
When dd2 was dry in the day she was immediately dry at night and that made it worse for dd1 knowing she wasnt.
But it resolved in the end.

I did sleep wees for a while eg I would go on when I went to bed and take them to the toilet then I put the potty in their room and the bedside light on and it was their job to go. My eldest was fine with this but my youngest would put his light on and then the hallway and then bathroom
and then …. Mine to announce to me that he had done a wee - every single bloody time for about a year

You’re neither reasonable nor unreasonable. However after DS had been dry in the day for about 8 months, he was still in nappies at night and they were wet through in the morning. As the weather was getting better, I decided to try him without a nappy at night, bought a plastic under-sheet and hoped for the best. And next morning bed was completely dry, and the next morning! Had only about 2 wet beds in the next fortnight. So the plastic sheet came off never to be used again!

So I would give your DD a try, especially as she is complaining- DS was never bothered one way or the other. If she keeps wetting the bed you can go back to pull-ups.

You won't know until you try for a few nights.

She's to old for a nappy and dummy, unless of course you'd tried for a decent time before returning to nappies.

In the olden days of reusable nappies very few near 4 year olds would be wearing one, unless there is a genuine issue.

These days people leave them because it's easier than training.

Cut out liquids an hour before before.

One night is not "giving it a go". Her body needs to experience the feeling of wetness for several nights to learn to wake up.

Yes, night dryness is partly about the hormone that concentrates urine. But lots of children also have to learn to wake up to wee. DS sometimes goes through but really what made him "go dry" reliably was his body learning to wake to go to the loo. This is why alarms are used to train some children who struggle/are deep sleepers to wake when they need the loo.

You need to try for one week minimum to allow her body to make those associations, before considering that you've "had a go". If you are worried about her skin, put a barrier cream on before bed to protect it.

My niece has only just stopped wetting the bed at 8 years old. The only thing that stopped her was getting an alarm mat. Her mum waited it out thinking she would just grow out of it but then got a bit worried at the age of 8 and still soaking sheets every night. One week of the alarm mat and she's dry through the night and has been for over 3 months now x

@lottie198

Each to their own but I wasn’t putting my DD through an alarm mat. They’re not always effective and can cause distress if the child is feeling on edge whilst going to sleep.

My DD slept very deeply and still does to be fair. She was out of them by 9 after being dry for a week off her own accord. Not an alarm in sight thankfully.

One night is not "giving it a go". Her body needs to experience the feeling of wetness for several nights to learn to wake up.

I'm sorry, but this is wrong. My sister wet the bed and slept in her own wee without waking up for years, back in the days when there were no pull ups. She did not 'learn' to wake up. She had terrible skin problems. She finally stopped wetting the bed at 9, after two prolonged and failed attempts with an alarm system, which was all very stressful for her (and for me, as I slept in the same room.) My own two children were in pull ups until they were 8. They were dry when were ready and not a day before. Pull ups are a wonderful invention.

Yes, agree it needs longer than 1 night to make a call, just thought I’d see what other thoughts/experiences people had as we persevered on this week; it will help us know when we call time on the trial!!

Good idea re the barrier cream - that would help stop the worry about her skin getting irritated in the meantime.

Bless her that sounds so stressful. Thank goodness for pull ups! I absolutely wouldn’t want this for my little and so we’ll head back to them if she keeps wetting in the night.

Mine is 4 in next month and seems blissfully oblivious to the nappy at night situation. If he was reacting like yours then I’d put the effort into trying to get him dry at night. I’d buy some disposable bed mats and try it for 7-10 days. If there’s no luck then I’d have a careful conversation about how the pull-ups help at night for the time being until she’s ready, I’d explain that she’s still a big girl and avoid using the word ‘nappy’ and instead say night pants or pull ups. I’d buy dry-nights as they look a bit more like pants. I think pampers do some night pants that look like underwear too.

Thats nonsense ,we are talking about being dry at night not during the day ,my sister wet the bed for years when she was a child shes 50 ,she may not have worn nappies but i distinctly remember her having a blue rubber sheet ,shes two years older then me ,i didnt wet the bed ,but she did it was nothing to do with what my mum did or didnt do

@x2boys Having a wet pull up does not mean the DC couldn't stay dry without one.

Once they become aware of wet underpants they'll learn.

I should add - for the aforementioned issues with managing poor sleep, I’m not keen on the ‘lifting’ approach.

I think this might depend on how many hours sleep she has at night. Might be able to go 10 hours but not 12.

She wont learn to control herself if you leave the pull up on..
Shes telling you she doesnt want them

Its ok if theres accidents, if youve got waterproof sheets

Kids can't wake up because they need a wee until their bodies produce a hormone that alerts them. It's not unusual for a 4 year old not to have that that yet. I believe that the medical profession don't investigate until the child is over 6.

That’s not quite right. The hormone suppresses urine production so you don’t need to go at night. Also doesn’t work very well as we get older either! Whether we wake up or not depends on how deeply we sleep.

Perhaps saying it's like milk teeth that fall out when they're ready, your body doesn't make the message to hold it until you're older and you can't make it happen any faster.

I'd put her back in pull ups and tell her when she has a week of dry pull ups she can stop wearing them.

No, I don’t think that kind of ultimatum is fair on a child. She will continue to pee in a pull up because she is in a pull up. I would give it a few more days and if no success, then go back to pull ups/pyjama pants for a a few more months before trying again.

Get some reusable night nappies, you can get them in pretty prints which are more knickerish and don't look like a nappy.
I got some for DS for overnight travelling and he's happy to wear them.

Don’t restrict evening drinks, that’s very outdated advice. My son (now 5), potty trained at 2. I had no intention of night training then but although he was happy wearing a nappy at night, refused to wee in it and would just wake up screaming at night instead, with no awareness at that little to get up and use the potty/toilet. I made sure he used the toilet before bed at 7pm and then also took him to the toilet before I went to bed at 10:30ish. It was a ‘dream wee’ in that he wouldn’t really wake up much. I’d just sit him down and pop him in bed again. That successfully saw him through til morning. Now I just make sure he wees before bed and he can hold any more til morning. My daughter, also 5 and potty trained at 2, wore nappies at night until she consistently woke up dry, which happened at around 4yrs for her but can certainly happen much later.

it will help us know when we call time on the trial!!

if you haven’t had any success after 5 days, I’d give up for a while.

Good idea re the barrier cream - that would help stop the worry about her skin getting irritated in the meantime.

she would also be no worse of than DC who were in terries overnight.