DH LEFT DD (6) ON HER OWN TODAY IN THE HOUSE

[kerryk]

sorry for caps in title

dd1 is of school today with a bad cold, dh is at home (also ill) i went to work and dd2 came with me. i work in a nursery about 40 metres from my house. you come out my door cross the road pass a couple of houses and there you are.

at closing time i told dd to get her coat on as we were about to go home when dh appeared, i asked where dd1 was and he said lying on the couch

i did not want to make a fuss when all the mums were leaving and waited till home to say something, he thinks i am bu, it was for a couple of minutes and only over the road. i his words "whats the worst that could happen"

i think 6 is to young, we stay on a busy road and i was worried that she would get scared and try and cross the road to get to us. i dont think i am being dramatic, i did not think that the house would explode or that someone would snatch her but surley at 6 she should not be left like this.

am i being unreasonable, i know i am to protective of both dd's but i am sure i am right on this one???

Well, kerry, I think that is one of the hardest parts of motherhood!

Why did your dh come out to meet you kerryk?

I, like others on here, had a six year old who was sensible and capable of being left for a few minutes, especially if he knew he would have to struggle into outdoor clothes and leave his comfy billet on the sofa.

Your dd1 sounds similar, so yes, tbh I think YABU. But with the proviso that dh's trip out seems to have been unnecessary

Snap OrmIrian. We first did the swift Home Alone thing after ds did a total wig-out at the thought of missing Raven ffs while I went and grabbed dd from nursery up the road
Firm instructions about answering door, quick tutorial on dialling my mobile, bob's your uncle
I am sort of grateful to him for being such a whingepot and forcing the issue as I am definitely overprotective by nature

I dont think I'd be too annoyed, my DD goes to the shop by ehrslef, is just turned seven and the sop is about as far away as your nursery, I would wonder what the point was if you were there anyway though.

I leave DS in the house for a few minutes at a time whilst I pop to get something from the car (and find it first!) - that can result in me walking about 50m away from the house due to crap parking around here.

He is 5 and is fine.

Maybe yab just a teeny bit u?

depends on your dd's understanding

if she is capable of understanding and following instructions then she's old enough to learn not to answer door, not to go out and dh will be back in 3 minutes etc

Well i totally agree with you and would be furious!!

To me it is irrelevant how far it is away or how long she was left, the point is that she is 6 years old and shouldn't be left alone.

I admit that my opinion is possibly tainted by the thought of my nearly 5 yo being left alone and the fact that she could get up to all sorts in a ridiculously short period of time

YANBU Did he lock the door?

there will come a time in all children's lives when we will leave them alone, even if it's just for a few minutes. Imo it does teach them responsibility/not to be afraid of being alone etc.

I wouldn't leave a child that young alone to go out for dinner/t the pub, but two minutes across the road is a start, and from there she can progress to you going to the shops etc and not having to drag her with you. Also vast difference between leaving a child who is awake and telling her to not open the door etc, and leaving a sleeping child who might wake up and be scared.

I'm sure my parents let me stay home while they popped to the neighbours when I was about 6, when I was 7/8 I was allowed to go to friends' houses on my own, and when I was 10 I know my mum left me in the house on my own and went into town while I was in bed having had my apendix out.

Also there is a difference between 4/5/6 yo, so what parents of 4 yo's would consider unacceptable because of how their children would react, might be totally different by the time they're 6.

no door was no locked.

usually when dh is not at work and i am he comes over to pick up dd2 as it is a novelty for her to see him during the day and as he usually brings her bike/scooter she enjoys going home with him. this is very rare though as he is usually always at work so most of the time i bring her back, so today she was not really expecting him to pick her up and would not have been dissapointed if he never.

You are being unreasonable. It's not like he went to Majorca for 2 weeks, he just nipped across the road. I probably would have done the same.

Two words.... Madeline McCain

Another three words - don't be silly.

That's ridiculous, Justine. More chance of being abducted by aliens.

I've done the same.

Can't quite believe previous post...

At some point you have to leave your DC alone - 2 mins whilst you run up the road is fine for a 6 yo who is comfortable with it.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm not a manic over protective mother or anything but I wouldn't have liked it.

the MM thing never crossed my mind at all, i think me and dh would both be agreed that we would not go out for a meal and leave dd at home.

my problem seems to be that he is ready for giving her that bit more independence and i am struggling a tiny little bit

I think you're right and very perceptive, kerry k.It's so hard to start the letting go!

Justine888 what an alarmist post what an anxiety inducing thing to say totally out of all proportion

KerryK -yanbu. i would be annoyed that a previously discussed arrangement had been breached.TBH i imagine because your DH felt so unwell it was a temporary lapse of judgement

I left DS, 6, watching TV while I took his friend back home - over the road, probably about 50m as the rd forks. I know my DS is sensible, he knew exactly where I was going and how long I would be, and I can see the front door from the friend's house.

If your dh had similiar confidence, I think it was ok to leave your dd for a couple of minutes.

god - you can shoot me now - I regularly leave DS3 (8 months old) asleep in his cot, and DS2 (who was 4 in November) sat watching TV, while I nip next door to pick DS1 up from school. Takes me less time than it does for me to go out the back in the garden and have a cigarette/hang the clothes on the line etc etc, - and I don't lock the front door when I go out to do those thing. I do however lock the front door when I pop to get DS1.

However, won't be doing it today as DS3 is wide awake, and DH has (quite literally) just bought DS2 some new trainers which he's desperate to wear outside.

YANBU

the thing is, the child might be okay wit the new and extra responsibility but it's a bit like driving. You could be the best driver in the world and some fool could hit you. Your 6 y.o. child could be mature and wise beyond her years but what if someone knocks at the door and she opens it. what if she doesnt but gets freaked out by the situation and no one is there. What if there was a fire?
Its all okay till something goes wrong...

Justine - the 6yr old could decide to open the door while mum is outside hanging the clothes on the line......