To think it's impossible to make friends with mums?

[KidsArt]

I moved to the suburbs from London during covid. I have 2DS (3 and 18 months). I work full time but I book classes and things at the weekend.

I just can't seem to make any friends. My two have never been on a playdate. I try to be all smiley at the nursery pick up. I try to start conversations at groups etc..

I'm a bit scruffy and a bit older (late 30s). Poss you could even say a little hippy-ish (unintentional!). All the mums seem young and glam and all drive range rovers etc - it seems. I don't feel I fit in but I'll chat with anyone! But no one wants to chat with me. There doesn't seem any mum mutual support...if I come in late or my kid is having a meltdown I just feel eyes on me. Maybe it's all in my head.

I really want to be part of the local community and for my kids to have friends and for me to have mum friends. A lot of my old mates don't have kids/have moved far away. Covid pushed everyone to all sorts of places. We just picked here because we could afford a house (unlike city) and we could still keep our jobs.

Do things get easier at primary school? I feel parents right now seem quite judgy and not particularly friendly. But then they all seem to know at least one other mum.

I don't know what mum's were like in London as was covid the whole time.

Am I living in the wrong place? Or do I just need to wait for them to be older? I always see on MN people talking about weekends full of this and that and I'm always searching for something to do!

I found it very hard to make mum friends. I moved from London where i lived all my life and was very lucky to have the friends i had. I moved to a tiny village so it was even more difficult to fit in as everyone knew each other.
Over time I made a nice mum friend at the village school and we have been friends for over 10 years even when our DC's have all left primary and now attend secondary.
For me I am lucky to have kept the friendships I have in London so we make sure we catch up at least once a month/every couple of months.
It does feel lonely when all you want is to meet a friend for company and for the children to play. It will happen but may take time.
I remember feeling so overwhelmed with loneliness when my DC's were small all I wanted to do was move back. I didn't fit it and it didn't help when my DD was bullied and I had to move her to a different school. The gossip was awful. I ended up just not bothering and luckily for me I met my local friend at the new school. Good luck OP.

It's so hard if you also work full time.

Why don;t you see who your child talks about and invite a child and their mum over for a playdate at yours to get things started?

Are there any working mum networks where you live? There will be other mums in similar situations.

Don't worry too much about mum friends for now. Try and make friends with people who share your hobbies and interests. You'll have way more in common with them. Or invite the neighbours over for drinks.

Sometimes Dads are really desperate for conversation, could always try one of them?

Talk to the dads! They can be friendlier in my experience.
Tbh I find it hard to make mum friends as I don't fit into the clique... I have only DD and rush off to work. I have seen the 'clique' of mums tend to have 3 or 4 kids and walk to the coffee shop after drop off. I can't do that.
There's also a cool group of mums where I live it feels like the cool girls at school again! I'm just friendly when I get the chance to talk to them but I don't seek them out. I've given up worrying and I just say hello to plenty of parents. I can't get past the small talk stage. I'm a bit geeky and socially awkward. I'm a nice person once you get to know me but I don't know what to say to people beyond the weather and general chit chat about the kids.
My closest friends are people I met at school, many of these are childfree. I never met mum friends at groups or softplay. I chatted to plenty of people but it never progressed.

Your kids are still very young. You will meet more mums when they start school or go to hobbies. It must be tough but don't think you have to have mum friends, and if it happens it's a bonus. You sound lovely by the way.

You could try finding your local church they are generally very welcoming and have groups for the little ones to make friends