Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at the social media phenomenon of self-diagnosis and resulting explosion in self-diagnostic videos

38 replies

daretodenim · 05/11/2022 11:54

If you don't have these videos popping up in your social media feeds, then I'd advise not to go looking for them! There's a never-ending supply.

AIBU to be fed up of the self-diagnosis trend on social media. Right now there's a massive push on "ADHD" (very, very loosely the real thing) - I even had a mental health professional's post appear today (with relief at finally some sense!) that "losing your keys" is not a diagnosis of ADHD. But there's ASD, PTSD and the one I think it's most horrific of all to do this with, DID (dissociative identity disorder) that people are doing this with.

I'm all for increasing awareness of things like ADHD and the autism spectrum in women in particular. In fact of anything! But surely - surely - if you think you have a condition by watching a 30 second clip of something, or even reading a few websites, then what you should do next is try to get a diagnosis. Not self-diagnose yourself!

I know that there are waiting lists. I get that. But if you're convinced, to the point of telling the world, then what about "I have suspected X" until you get one?

Because - and this is what gets my goat - is that all these people proclaiming to have X, identify as having X or whatever, with no actual diagnosis, and then offering advice as though they know what they're talking about, are making it harder for people who 100% do have the condition and got that diagnosis because they were having serious problems. Not because they felt like a wee label to brandish about. In the case of DID I'm actually out of words about it. Anyway, people see all these "5 signs you could have X" videos and either think "Ooh, that sounds like me" or "WTF, everybody has a diagnosis these days, they should just pull themselves together. We all lose our car keys." Then the next time they meet someone who says they have X, or hear of someone who does, they eye roll, quite understandably.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 05/11/2022 12:01

If only social media wasn't mandatory and there was a way of avoiding these videos, like not watching them.

Grusl · 05/11/2022 12:02

Yanbu.

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 05/11/2022 12:04

I think the problem is the tendency to label and pathologise everything when in reality most things are a sliding scale and a very low % of people fall into a serious clinical diagnosis that affects their day to day lives to the point of not being able to work/function.

yanbu these videos are extreme in their message. I think better psycho-education all round would be much better.

LesterBiggott · 05/11/2022 12:05

It is a problem op and it does impact on those who have an actual diagnosis.

ofwarren · 05/11/2022 12:07

What's with all these post at the moment, disparaging people who think they are ADHD or ASD?

nomistake · 05/11/2022 12:08

I've noticed it on here too, everyone's asking 'have I got ADHD?' Or saying they suspect they have it. Its like a trend.

Hoardasurass · 05/11/2022 12:09

What's worse than self identifying as having a disability is that they then insist on talking for all (insert chosen disability) and shout down everyone who has a diagnosis of said disability when we point out that they're not representative of most people with said disability.
If you want to see this in action look at any ASD "support" group

PeekAtYou · 05/11/2022 12:11

Yanbu but it's partly because you can't see an NHS medical professional to discuss ND issues (especially if you're an adult) and go through the diagnostic process in a reasonable timeframe unless you can pay for it privately.

Topgub · 05/11/2022 12:12

Given how hard ot is to actually get a diagnosis I'm not surprised people self diagnose

That being said I do think it happens a bit to often.

Case in point saying not being able to cope with doing laundry means you might have adhd

Hippyatheart58 · 05/11/2022 12:14

My friend is studying mental health nursing and she said this is a real issue for them. People wanting an assessment after watching some tic tok videos and have been managing life just fine before hand. In the area she is training the waiting list for a ADHD assessment has gone from 3 months to 2 years. All because of the huge demand of requests after seeing a 30 second clip.

However people have been doing this for a long time. Desperate for some kind of label. OCD was the first one. How many people say they have that because they like a clean and tidy home? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a serious mental illness and people take their life over it. Anyone with a true diagnosis will talk about how deliberating it is and I have met people who have been hospitalised as a result of their OCD. Yet people throw it out there like it is nothing. Feels like ADHD is the new cool label instead of OCD.

x2boys · 05/11/2022 12:16

Hoardasurass · 05/11/2022 12:09

What's worse than self identifying as having a disability is that they then insist on talking for all (insert chosen disability) and shout down everyone who has a diagnosis of said disability when we point out that they're not representative of most people with said disability.
If you want to see this in action look at any ASD "support" group

Yep my son has severe autism and learning disabillties ,i stay away from all the general autosm support groups ,as i found them really unsupportive ,i have found a couple for parents of children who are severly impacted by their autism and just stick to them

TeaWithFlorence · 05/11/2022 12:17

Yeah I've seen someone claiming to have DID but said they couldn't get a diagnosis from the doctor as they're not "bad enough" but they've got all these alleged personalities which they've given names to. People on social media are falling over themselves to validate this person's delusions. Talking about how brave they are to speak out about it. The reason they don't have a diagnosis is probably because they don't have DID. But they are getting a shit ton of attention and validation.

user1471465329 · 05/11/2022 12:18

Then the next time they meet someone who says they have X, or hear of someone who does, they eye roll, quite understandably.

um no, not "quite understandably", there is no excuse to roll your eyes if you hear of someone's disability, despite what you saw on tiktok...

They are severely lacking in critical thinking of they do.

user1471465329 · 05/11/2022 12:22

Hippyatheart58 · 05/11/2022 12:14

My friend is studying mental health nursing and she said this is a real issue for them. People wanting an assessment after watching some tic tok videos and have been managing life just fine before hand. In the area she is training the waiting list for a ADHD assessment has gone from 3 months to 2 years. All because of the huge demand of requests after seeing a 30 second clip.

However people have been doing this for a long time. Desperate for some kind of label. OCD was the first one. How many people say they have that because they like a clean and tidy home? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a serious mental illness and people take their life over it. Anyone with a true diagnosis will talk about how deliberating it is and I have met people who have been hospitalised as a result of their OCD. Yet people throw it out there like it is nothing. Feels like ADHD is the new cool label instead of OCD.

Your friend who is studying to be a mental health nurse is unaware then that on the NHS, ADHD referrals must come from a GP, following several diagnostic questionnaires and proof of symptoms from childhood.

Not a 30 second tik tok video. She is ignorant and I would hate to be one of her future patients.

NippyWoowoo · 05/11/2022 12:23

ofwarren · 05/11/2022 12:07

What's with all these post at the moment, disparaging people who think they are ADHD or ASD?

Yep.

NippyWoowoo · 05/11/2022 12:23

nomistake · 05/11/2022 12:08

I've noticed it on here too, everyone's asking 'have I got ADHD?' Or saying they suspect they have it. Its like a trend.

It's not, HTH.

user1471465329 · 05/11/2022 12:26

NippyWoowoo · 05/11/2022 12:23

Yep.

Grim, isn't it. If they had an ounce of understanding what these disabilities are like to live with, and how many people have suffered for decades before treatment or support until now, maybe they'd be a little more sensitive.

Schmeeeee · 05/11/2022 12:29

I see it from both sides.

I have always gone through life feeling as though I didn't fit in. Living with mass of head fog trying to wide my way through life, trying my hardest but a chronic under achiever. I never knew what was wrong with me until a few years ago when I business woman I follow shared a post on Facebook detailing her symptoms and how she had recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I had never related to anything so much in my life. Every symptom she listed (and the list was long!) was one I also struggled with.

I mustered up the courage to go see my GP about it who quickly dismissed me and said "you don't sound like you have ADHD" (bug tip: GP's know very little about the complexities of a neurodiverse condition like ADHD - especially in adult women and how it presents itself. I pushed for a referral so she reluctantly agreed. I had been on the NHS waitlist for 2 years before I gave up and went private with a reputable ADHD doctor who had years of experience diagnosing and treating it (unlike GP's). ADHD is not something you suddenly develop. It's something you'll have struggled with all your life. So I needed to provide proof from childhood by having my parents fill out behavioural surveys and dig out childhood school reports. I had to have my partner (reluctantly fill out a form about me - FYI he's in the same mindset as you OP and thinks ADHD is a trend and doesn't even really think it's a real trend, so he's never been understanding of my struggles, yet feels he can yell and pick me apart for my errors and issues all related to my ADHD). I ended up being diagnosed with combined type ADHD. I am now medicated and I cannot tell you the world of difference it has made to my life - especially with work. The first day I swear my boss must have wondered what had happened with me as I was more productive and ticked off more things on my to do list than I had in 3 months. Without the awareness of social media I would never have found out what my 'problem' was. I would never have found the ADHD support groups, books and podcasts which - for the first time in my life make me feel heard. I can relate to everyone there. Nothing I do is weird or abnormal. They are my people. They understand my struggles and have been a wealth of knowledge and support. I will forever be grateful for social media bringing my ADHD to my awareness.

But in the flip side, I agree that there is a lot of content on social media about ADHD. This could be because people like me received a late diagnosis and through hyper focus just want to create awareness about it to help people struggling with life for 40+ years. But at the same time it tends to trivialise ADHD as well. It's frustrating because people will say - oh that sounds like me. I keep forgetting to turn the lights off or pay my bills.

So it seems like a trend. But there are people out there just like me struggling all their lives and wondering why.

For what it's worth ADHD is often hereditary. After my diagnosis I realised looking back that my dad is classic ADHD and suffered silently with my same issues. My sibling was also diagnosed many years ago but never told me until I told them about my diagnosis. That was a real smack in the face because had I know I could have looked into a diagnosis for myself much earlier.

Cuck00soup · 05/11/2022 12:35

ADHD and ASD are under diagnosed though. If social media raises awareness and leads to people getting a diagnosis and support - that's great in my view.

What is heartbreaking is that families struggle for years to get a diagnosis and intervention.

BogRollBOGOF · 05/11/2022 12:42

DS is neurodiverse. Diagnosed.

The more I find out about ADHD, the more I wonder about who wrote my biography. It's not just about wondering around the house wondering where I put my keys (in my pocket), it's the life-long feedback I had in school/ university/ work, learning the hard way and busting a gut to pull things back from the edge to be sucessful in the nick of time, and being told I'm wrong and given unworkable advice for decades. I had long wondered about dyspraxia which DS is diagnosed with, but ADHD does cover broader areas that resonate with me too.

I haven't gone down the diagnostic route at present because at this point in life, especially with the extensive waiting lists, I don't see a significant benefit. ADHD friendly strategies usually work far better for me than standard advice. Plus there's the whole palaver of picking up a phone, making appointments, and it's not critical at the moment...

I'm not "self-diagnosed" just open to the liklihood. I would not override the experience of a person with diagnosis. People are people and vary anyway.

People that do have diagnoses of being neurodiverse had phases of being suspected to get to the referral/ diagnostic stage too. These conditions were present and affecting life before diagnosis was completed. We've now realised that historically diagnosis was too focused on specific male traits and that generations of women were overlooked.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 05/11/2022 12:43

YANBU. Some of the diagnostics are very normal behaviours.

daretodenim · 05/11/2022 12:44

Schmeeee
FYI he's in the same mindset as you OP and thinks ADHD is a trend and doesn't even really think it's a real trend,

I don't think ADHD is a trend. At all. I think the trend is the pithy social media posts about various conditions - and as I said, not only ADHD, although currently that's the one that seems to be everywhere.

FWIW I know someone who has suffered their entire life from ADHD (by suffering I mean to the extent he nearly killed himself by chainsawing his forehead from his inability to remember all safety procedures) and eventually got a diagnosis in adulthood (after that accident) and got some help. It was too late for his marriage. And that's had massive repercussions for his kids too. I do not think actual ADHD is a trend at all.

OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 05/11/2022 12:54

I am wondering who the one person left in the world who doesn't feel anxious or depressed some of the time, has completely 'normal' thought processes, and is 100% straight is going to be!

That's not to disparage genuine conditions but where I work absolutely everyone under 25 now has anxiety.
I have known people where it's truly crippling. These are not those people. But asking them to do certain tasks is 'triggering'.

It's bloody triggering for me trying to get anything done.

It's good we are more aware but I do think that everyone has an element of these conditions but not everyone is affected to the same degree and the sticking a label (especially a self diagnosed one) on everything runs the risk of diminishing genuine struggle.

Hippyatheart58 · 05/11/2022 12:56

Erm no not at all within our particular Scottish NHS trust. We have a self referral service. She has worked closely with the service and is very much aware of the process thank you. Anyone who receives her as their nurse will be lucky to have her.

PorridgewithQuark · 05/11/2022 13:00

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 05/11/2022 12:04

I think the problem is the tendency to label and pathologise everything when in reality most things are a sliding scale and a very low % of people fall into a serious clinical diagnosis that affects their day to day lives to the point of not being able to work/function.

yanbu these videos are extreme in their message. I think better psycho-education all round would be much better.

This is true.

I'm in a useful and supportive group for expat/ immigrant/ non native speaker women locally and although the group is mostly very useful, there are constant posts pathologising normal experience and feelings!

In the group we've all moved to a country where we didn't grow up and the language isn't our mother tongue, and this is extremely difficult at times - it can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for years or decades tbh and is definitely an intense experience for the first five years for most people, unless they're very heavily cushioned by wealth and know they're just "passing through"and don't need to question their identity and new place in the world. For people who've moved for the ling haul it's difficult- your whole concept of yourself is called into question, especially if you're still learning the language. That's just how it is. Yet a significant percentage of people are insistent that when anyone comes on to say that they're struggling that they must (often like the poster themselves) definitely have anxiety and depression and require extensive therapy and pharmaceuticals. A really disproportionate percentage also decide their struggles, especially feeling unsettled and overwhelmed, mean they have undiagnosed ADHD.

I'm constantly posting that the feelings people are experiencing are normal because what they're doing is simply hard. A lot of people don't want to hear that though - they seem to be more comforted by the idea that they have a syndrome or disorder and this will be solved by therapy and medication.

It's almost about seeking permission to ask someone else to fix difficult feelings rather than accept they're normal and either sit them out or look for more ordinary solutions, like going to language classes, joining a sports or hobby class or indeed meet up groups and trying to build a circle of aquaintences and get out doing things I think.