Hobbies for kids

[Overthiscrap]

Is it unreasonable to not want to add an additional day on to a young family members hobby? The person relies on lifts, we are involved in the said hobby 5 sometimes 6 days a week, including weekends in some way or other. Its been suggested our family member may like to attend another location for the hobby on our free weekend day but I really don’t want to give up any more time to this hobby when they do so much already and we have other family members missing out on our time and only have a hobby that takes a few hours a week.
I have another family member very unhappy with me (not the hobby member) so I am questioning if I am being unreasonable

Just to add the hobby can take up most of our day on the weekend day we do take part, and it feels like too much of a commitment when the whole family will be affected in someway or other.

YABU just for the usual MN BS of not naming the hobby, therefore making the question self-indulgently over-complicated.

How old is the young person? What relationship are you? Who is the other family member? This would be helpful but no YANBU.

It's a kids hobby. What the hobby is doesn’t matter, its the time we are giving to the hobby thats in question.

Child is young, I am a parent. Child relies on us for all of it, lifts, costs, time etc.
It’s mostly my husband who does the running around but it I have to take over when he isn't here.
I am being made to feel like I am selfish for not wanting to add more to what we already do for our child, but we spend a lot of time with this one hobby and I think it’s enough.

Impossible to say really without knowing what it is, how old he is and the level he does it at.
What, if any, consequences are there if you don’t commit to the extra session? Other than your DC being annoyed about it of course. Like would he be unlikely to get through an audition or get a place on a competition squad as a direct result?

I don't think YABU - it sounds a huge commitment as it is. Why can't the other person who is upset with you do the extra day?

Doing anything, even a competitive sport, for 5/6 days a week for a young child is more than enough!
A girl in my old primary was a competitive figure skater. Four days a week she was up and at the rink 6am and half a day on the weekend. That was enough (she gave it up in high school).

It depends, how old is the child, is there a future in it for them, do they live and breath it, are all their friendships centered around it?

Ok - I can help a bit with this. I have a tween child who is the national champion for her sport for her age.

She loves the sport and would like to do every training session and every competition going. We have another child though so we do have to think about things carefully.

Questions we ask ourselves before committing:-
Does she want to do it (answer is always yes but we always check)
Is it the right thing for her body (it is an endurance sport rather than a “skill” sport so overtraining can be an issue
Is it the right thing for her sport development (I am not going to drive 5 hours to take her to a local style competition if she can go to one of similar quality nearby. I might drive for 5 hours for a high level competition)
Will it impact on her education?
Can we afford it
Can we do it logistically
What will be the impact on her brother and can we mitigate this (luckily little brother is also getting into the sport now)

Generally I don’t see “I can’t be arsed” as a good reason to not take her somewhere. I can never be arsed!

Sorry to drip feed. Its not something that will become a career, the child is at a good level already. the other person will most likely take the child, but then we will have two days where we are all split up so not ideal. Friendships are not centred around the hobby so I worry friendships will lapse as child wont have time.

I am going to speak to the whole family tonight and explain my reasons and that while I don’t think we can commit now, its something we can revisit in the future.

Hmm. I think I’m the other parent in this scenario. I take the kids where and when they want and encourage all hobbies (as long as they want to do them! ) DP thinks w/e should be family time and doesn’t like too much extra curricular stuff.

It does sound as though it's something that the child should be getting themself to when they are older, but hard to say without knowing more, it could be a hobby that won't appeal as much when the child is older.. guesswork with not enough info, soz!

An out of the house hobby that takes place almost every single day of the week sounds far too much if it is affecting the lives of other family members.
I think you are right to say no.

Your writing style is really confusing
Who is the other person? Who would be updlset by it? Who else do you have to consider?

Unless in training for a national team type hobby I'd say 6 days is too many we all need down time and relaxation for our mental health children included.

This is helpful but to be clear it isn't because I can’t be arsed. We have a lot going on already, the other child is left behind lots if I want to go too as he hates the hobby.
Child is unlikely to get any extra benefit really but also cost and travel are a factor too.

I’m at the point now when I really can’t be arsed! Two hour training session tonight and it is 1. Cold and 2. Outside.

In my next life I am going to encourage an indoor sport. Maybe darts. Then there will be a bar! 😂

Are you a step-parent who's having to do the activity runs for your step-child when DH is working? And now the child wants to do another activity on your free day and you don't want to get roped into that too?

It sounds very much like being the non-horsy parent of a horsy child, and essentially having to be part of a lifestyle you never signed up to. I think its reasonable to say, no, 6 days a week is enough.

It's Al La bit critic cryptic op, you talk like it's a niece or cousin of something and you're being forced into lifts but it's actually your child? Who's encouraging you to do an extra day? How old is your child?

Tbh I wouldn't want my child doi

Tbh I wouldn't want my child doing any hobby 6 days a week if it wasn't a future career and if I continually left one child dumped at home alone and unable to pursue their own interests.

Child is young, I am a parent

Is it your child? Does the other child get as much time and energy spent on their interests (diesn't matter if it's by parents or step parents). Is the other child always being left out or does the hobby mistly coincide when the other child is with the other parent?

What is the hobby?!

Your writing style is so confusing. Are you trying to say that another child is being left out?

We spent a lot of time, money and energy on our DS's hobby (cricket) endless driving around the country to matches at impossible to find cricket grounds etc etc but we only have one DC so no one was 'neglected' and DH and I would share duties or occasionally go together... we liked exploring new areas. To be honest and snobbish I was much happier that my DS was playing cricket rather than some 'hobbies' that teenage boys do. And it's been a great sport as an adult to meet new people at Uni and as he moves to new areas for work.

It’s very cryptic and hard to follow but I think essentially YANBU not wanting your child to do 6 days per week if it means you as a family are missing out on time together and their sibling is getting a raw deal.

@Mumoftwoinprimary Im very jealous of your outdoor sport commitments, we have a major indoor sport commitment and I always think longingly of the parents on the sidelines of the football/rugby/cross country etc as I so much prefer being outdoors! :)