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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hobbies for kids

41 replies

Overthiscrap · 03/11/2022 13:25

Is it unreasonable to not want to add an additional day on to a young family members hobby? The person relies on lifts, we are involved in the said hobby 5 sometimes 6 days a week, including weekends in some way or other. Its been suggested our family member may like to attend another location for the hobby on our free weekend day but I really don’t want to give up any more time to this hobby when they do so much already and we have other family members missing out on our time and only have a hobby that takes a few hours a week.
I have another family member very unhappy with me (not the hobby member) so I am questioning if I am being unreasonable

Just to add the hobby can take up most of our day on the weekend day we do take part, and it feels like too much of a commitment when the whole family will be affected in someway or other.

OP posts:
CatRatSplat · 03/11/2022 19:05

Write down the days of week child 1 gets at this hobby, then write down all the days of week child 2 gets to do his hobby.

Wrote down all the costs, Inc travel, coffee etc for both alongside.

You will very quickly find your answer. I get things can't be equal but they can be fairer.

XelaM · 03/11/2022 19:18

You write as if it's someone else's child. I don't really understand your cryptic style.

I'm a non-horsey parent to a horse-obsessed daughter who rides 7 days a week. It takes up all her (and my) evenings after school and all of her weekends, costs astronomical amounts of money and generally inconveniences me no end. BUT as she's my daughter and it's her passion and her closest friends are from the yard, I still drive her every day and pay for it.

The way you write it sounds like you're not the child's mother.

NameChangeLifeChange · 03/11/2022 19:19

Honestly if it’s not going to be a career and they’re a primary age child that can’t get themselves about how can you be bothered to do something six days a week?! My DD does gymnastics and loves it but even if she were amazing I’d be hesitant to be one of those mums going 4 days a week and 6 hours on a weekend etc. life’s too short!! When do you get family time? Fun time? Chill time? Kids are over scheduled so much these days. I’d leave it as it is!

Popfan · 03/11/2022 19:21

Yeah it's got to be horse related!

Shiningstarr · 03/11/2022 20:08

What is the hobby?? Why not name the hobby?? This has got to be the worst drip feed post 💧

AffIt · 03/11/2022 20:12

It's either riding, competitive swimming or figure skating.

Original poster
Overthiscrap · 03/11/2022 20:48

I have close friends who use mumsnet regularly so I don’t want to share any more info other than what I already have except to say I wish it was horses, I am the parent our other child is definitely the loser on the hobby front and I have no issue with chauffeuring and attending but also I feel this extra day would take away our family time.

You've all been very helpful and understanding despite my cryptic post, and I’ve spoken to my other half and it’s been agreed at the moment its just too much.

OP posts:
XelaM · 03/11/2022 20:56

@Overthiscrap I wish it was horses

Noooooooo! Careful what you wish for (a very exhausted and broke horse mum 😩)

Mumoftwoinprimary · 03/11/2022 22:42

@CoveredInCobwebs I used to like the outdoors……. But over an hour after we got back I still can’t get warm…..

Dd’s best friend from primary is a swimmer. Her mum moans about how hot and sweaty it always is at the pool. Right now I am longing to be hot and sweaty….

Shiningstarr · 03/11/2022 23:34

Overthiscrap · 03/11/2022 20:48

I have close friends who use mumsnet regularly so I don’t want to share any more info other than what I already have except to say I wish it was horses, I am the parent our other child is definitely the loser on the hobby front and I have no issue with chauffeuring and attending but also I feel this extra day would take away our family time.

You've all been very helpful and understanding despite my cryptic post, and I’ve spoken to my other half and it’s been agreed at the moment its just too much.

If your other child isn't happy then you need to do something about it to even things out.

Original poster
Overthiscrap · 04/11/2022 07:57

Shiningstarr · 03/11/2022 23:34

If your other child isn't happy then you need to do something about it to even things out.

Show quote history

we have tried and continue to. But our youngest hasn’t found his think yet apart from his weekly lesson.

OP posts:
Shiningstarr · 04/11/2022 12:11

we have tried and continue to. But our youngest hasn’t found his think yet apart from his weekly lesson.

I don't mean your other child's hobby. I mean your time. Not all children do a hobby as such, maybe your other child would just value more of your time. You know, talking to your child and just hanging out with them, going to the cinema or taking them swimming. Normal things that aren't a 'hobby'.

Original poster
Overthiscrap · 04/11/2022 17:29

Shiningstarr · 04/11/2022 12:11

we have tried and continue to. But our youngest hasn’t found his think yet apart from his weekly lesson.

I don't mean your other child's hobby. I mean your time. Not all children do a hobby as such, maybe your other child would just value more of your time. You know, talking to your child and just hanging out with them, going to the cinema or taking them swimming. Normal things that aren't a 'hobby'.

Its fair in the sense we do lots of at home stuff and activities.

OP posts:
Worriedandwingingit · 03/03/2023 18:25

Too pushy or helping them in the long run?

I have a lot of childhood regret that I never stuck at the things I loved and ended up as an adult having not many interests and also think I didn’t have the learning experiences that go along with team sports etc.

Now having my own kids, I really don’t want this to be the situation for them but conscious this might make me really pushy and make them continue with clubs and hobbies that they aren’t fussed about. But sometimes I think they are being lazy and not knowing what’s good for then 🤪. Be good to hear others approaches and opinions

Worriedandwingingit · 03/03/2023 18:31

Sorry posted on here and not new thread 🤪🤪🤪

JazbayGrapes · 03/03/2023 18:34

If its too much for you, then you need to pull the plug.

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