To be intimidated by FIL turning up at door.

[Ray92]

My FIL turned up at the house today, knowing I'd be on my own with 6m DD. I'm only on my own two days a week and he knows this.
For context, we aren't speaking due to how he and MIL treat my DD and because he keeps asking DH (his stepson) for money.
He came to ask for money, in a roundabout way. Saying how poor they are and he can't get more work. How DH owes his a holiday and money.
I felt intimidated as we have next to no relationship and no one else was there. DH has FIL blocked.
Am I being unreasonable? Or was he trying to intimidate me?

You're not being OTT.

Get a Ring doorbell or similar and don't answer next time. Block on all mediums.

Once again billy1966 nails it; as I half expected the problems aren't just with FIL but witth your DH too since he's clearly lied

Given that this "win" happened before you even met I'd wonder just how much of the truth you're getting from any of them - especially as it now turns out you provided the deposit for the home (and why wasn't DH able to contribute by using his "gift"?)

The problem of FIL coming round can easily by solved by just not answering, but personally I'd be digging a lot deeper to find just what's going on here, and doing what I could to protect any personal money in the meantime

God, what a mess ...

I agree with the comments about DH lying.
I was advised by MN to ring fence my money and now have.

Was MonsterM a troll? That was uncomfortable.

@Ray92 Have you got a Ring doorbell, or similar? That way you can see if it's FIL and ignore him.
Personally I'd lean out of a bedroom window and tell him to sling his hook and that I've called the cops.

I will get one! Thank you for your supportive comments, really appreciated 💕.

Two questions, is Fil also asking for money back from the other children and have they given it? Secondly, given that you're unlikely to have a stash of money under your mattrass, what did he hope to achieve? Was he planning to march you to your bank?

Well, what a lovely chap he sounds.
I know nothing about restraining orders / injunctions but surely you could do with one, if your DH doesn't want him around / doesn't want contact? It sounded quite menacing to me. Maybe someone else can advise on this?

He sounds lazy and vile. What age is he? Sounds too young to be giving up working.

I hope you are OK @Ray92 horrible for you

I don't know that he means to intimidate you, if he has no history of being threatening. But he definitely thought he would try wheedling money out of you while his stepson (who obviously doesn't like him) wasn't there to harden your heart against him.

Don't let him in the house or feel you have to engage with him at all.

Btw I wondered if your DH had got a loan to repay the damn money BECAUSE he expected something like this to happen, & was trying to prevent it?

He definitely thought he would try wheedling money out of you while his stepson (who obviously doesn't like him) wasn't there to harden your heart against him

And yet we're told that same stepson took out a loan - allegedly to repay StepFIL - without saying anything to his wife

I'll say again that there's almost certainly a lot more going on here tthan OP knows about, and as already asked where's MIL in all this?

I posted previously on MN that MIL has only been to see DD once despite living close. I don't speak to her because she has not seen DD and has been unkind to me. She has also been asking for money from DH (totaling over 1k since only Jan).
The other siblings have said in person FIL gave them money (more than DH) and have not payed it back. I suspect because they are all in poor financial situations.
I think MIL and FIL think I am well off and that is why we are being asked.

I agree, I think there is more going on than anyone will tell me.

FIL is 50s and has no pension, neither does MIL.

Simple keep them both blocked. If they turn up again call the police for harrasment and get a restraining order.

Do not engage.

50s why aren't they working them instead of asking everyone for money?!
I'm the same sort of age and I'm working and supporting two dc through uni/college.

Time to go no contact op?

Yes, definitely.
At least now I know I'm not being dramatic if I ring the police should it happen again.

Haha we’d all like to retire in our 50’s but how do you do that with no pension?! They are going to ask for money more and more as whatever savings they have vanish. Refuse refuse refuse. Never let them move in. If your DH ever suggests it (not saying he would) tell him you would leave - make sure he knows you are serious and you will not be bailing his parents out.

They could live another 30 years and if they don’t have a pension… are they in council housing?

Yes, they live in a council house.
FIL won this sum of money and thought he'd never work again. The money went. Now they both work minimum hours but no reason they can't work more. No health issues etc.
I do worry about that. I've said it is an absolute no.