To ignore my old boss?

[fairydustt]

So I worked for a lady for 4 years, abit of background info, she is a very demanding and difficult lady and much of my time working for her I did not really enjoy, although some of it I did and she is not a totally terrible person just quite difficult, and I did learn quite a bit from her.

Anyway, I started a new job in May this year so gave my notice in to my old job in April, my old boss did not see it coming and was quite disappointed but obviously accepted it. I had a 4 week notice period and wanted to take 1 week off between jobs to unwind, but my old boss was struggling to find a replacement for me and asked me if I could stay on another week, which I said yes to. So I ended up with only the weekend between leaving and starting my new job, but obviously I did get paid for the final week.

When I left, my old boss gave me a very nice gift, she actually cried on my last day.. and I told her that I would come in to do a handover for the new person once she had found a replacement and I would try and help make the transition as smooth as possible.

Two months after I had left, she still had not found a replacement and she asked me if I would mind completing an important monthly task that I used to do. for her which I did twice, she has not asked me to do this since.

In august she told me she had found a replacement and so I arranged a day that I would go in for the handover, she bought me tickets for a meal out as a thank you, then the day I was due to go in for this handover she messaged me to say that the person has decided they don't want the job and so she would be in touch with me soon.

It is now 6 months since I left and I received a message from her yesterday to say that she has finally found a replacement for me, and could I come in next week for the handover, she was very nice in her message and said she knew it might be difficult for me.

Would I be unreasonable to ignore her message and not go in for the handover.. I feel I might be being unreasonable because I did say that I would do it and I have obviously accepted the dinner tickets she gave me previously.. but at the same time, it has been 6 months! I'm really busy at work at the moment and frankly can't really be bothered to go into her office in my spare time .. but equally I would feel bad ignoring her and also don't want to burn any bridges ..

Thoughts?

I think you offered to do it within a reasonable time frame. i.e your notice period or at a push another month after that.

6 months is mental. There are probably changes to the job you're not even aware of, new clients, new orders. You've started a new job and are totally out of the old one now. Personally, I would make my apologies and say sorry, it's been so long I don't think a handover is appropriate anymore. How can you hand over a job you havent done since May.

I would just do it. I mean how long are we talking? Probably not too long, right?

I wouldn’t want to burn bridges. It sounds as if you had a good relationship with your old boss, if you can accommodate her request, even by soon, I would.

just say that you expected it to have happened by now, you're busy at your main job but you can offer to do it by teams/zoom/other videoconferencing thing of your choice, for a maximum of 2 hours.

Didn't you have/make a job manual while in your last job?

sorry i see you left a handover folder
Tell them to suck it and see for 2 weeks, then you can handle queries by zoom on X date at Y time to Z time.

Frankly? for a PA type role, assuming no complicated IT to use: they should be able to work it out for themselves

So you finished work 6 months ago but they want you to come back and do more work for free?

Am I missing something here?

Clearly the answer is "no"?

I would do it, but also say to your ex-boss that your new role is now really busy, so after this you won't be able to do a handover if she cancels, or help with anything additional if they need more of a handover.

You can say 'I am really busy at the moment, but can do X date and do 4:30pm - 6pm that day, but also after this I won't be able to commit any more time to your business I'm afraid as I've had my new role for 6 months now and really don't have the time anymore'.

But you've also made it worse by helping her 3 times within the last 6 months, and she's now assuming (wrongly) that you will help out again and again.
Just be firm, whether that's saying 'just this once' or 'nope, can't help you' but whatever you decide don't help her again.

No you can do zoom calls on your phone if you want.

In the evening instead of going to the office.

I'd email back the dinnner tickets to her and say circumstances have changed, it's no longer convenient and you presume someone (ie her) knows the processes as they must have been covered for the last 6 months.

It's an hour, and then it's done with. I'd just do it in your shoes, as you said that you would.

I would do it, it is only a couple of hours and you would never know when you might need a favour/reference etc.

It’s one day, you said you’d do it and you already took the gift. So of course YABU to ignore her.

Just say " I'm sorry, really snowed under at work so won't be able to do the handover. "

I would do it, but say you can’t do it next week as you are snowed under. Book a time that suits you then do it in the interest of good relations, and you are done.

It’s a bit mental but I would just do it tbh. I’d feel too bad about the tickets

I would do it, sounds like only 1.5hr of your time and unless you are going to return the value of the vouchers/tickets it's the right thing to do