AIBU to Take Him to Playgroup when Slightly Poorly?

[QS90]

I have a two year old who has a sniffly nose, and a chesty cough (for some reason the cough is only at night). It's unlikely to be Covid as we had it a couple of months ago, and me and my DP aren't ill. He's not ill in himself - that is, still has plenty of energy. He's been like this about a week, not needed Calpol or had a temperature in that time. Still, is this too ill to risk infecting other toddlers? He's my first, so not sure what the social etiquette is, as he's snotty so much more this winter, being old enough to amble about touching gross things all the time 😕

Thanks.

I’d probably take him with those symptoms. Waiting for toddlers not to have a snotty nose Oct-May is like waiting for the moon to be in Jupiter ime.

If you stay at home for every cold when little, you’ll be a hermit. As long as he genuinely doesn’t have a temp etc, and there aren’t any immunity suppressed people (obvs you may not know), go.

Why don't you actually do Covid tests rather than deciding yourself whether it is or not?

Sniffly nose and cough is a semi-permanent feature of that age group.

I remember someone tutting that DS had a constantly running nose at a playgroup. He had allergies and his nose stopped running less than Forrest Gump did. It either flowed because it was winter or because it was summer/ hayfever.

Children's immune systems need exposing to the normal range of seasonal bugs. It's how the body's evolved to function.

Thanks everyone, that's what I was secretly hoping!

@MarianneVos We don't have any tests unfortunately. We used to test quite a lot when they were free, but now only buy them in if we plan on visiting older people. I'm pregnant too, so pretty sure if he has symptoms I'd have them too.

I actually hate it when people send snotty toddlers to nurseries or take them to soft plays, parka etc. Its really selfish and inconsiderate.

Loads of people do it OP so you'll get told it's fine but I think it's horrid. We don't want to share your germs?!

It is good for children to be regularly exposed to different bugs. One of the reasons COVID was so bad is that none of us had ever been exposed to it before.
I would take them with a snotty nose and cough, but not if they had a temperature - mainly because they probably wouldn't be feeling up to it. I would also avoid places if they had a sickness but in the last 48 hours.

I'm thankful that I had my children in the 80's and 90's, we didn't have this angst, or others telling us that we need to quarantine when we have harmless common illnesses. The lack of sick pay meant that you got on with it. Kids/adults get coughs and colds. Some people cough from October to March. Outdoor play is fine. Our health has been poorer because of lockdown and not picking up the bugs we need to build a good immune response.

Go and live in a cave then?

You do know that people don't get sick pay now for staying off work with a sick child, right? Sick pay is only for when YOU are sick.

Look after your own sick kids instead of dumping them on underpaid nursery workers or in a soft play because you can't be arsed.

I'd always avoid taking them out following s&d and chicken pox but you just can't do it with colds, you'd never be able to leave the house.

I have two under three and we came out of a 5 week continuous illness cycle a month ago and now they are unwell again. Ain't no way I'd keep them at home or they'd be at home a lot! Plus it is actually good for them to be exposed to germs whilst little. So go to the playgroup 😊 I personally wouldn't care if I was another mum at the playgroup and saw your child there

I would take him. Most kids will be full of cold throughout the Winter, it's just part of life. If you stay home for all snots and coughs you'll never get out.

Oh yes this I agree with. In my post I was also referring to coughs and colds!

All the comments like "its actually good for kids to get exposed to germs" expose your own kids then but making the call to expose others, unknowingly, without their consent and then justifying it that way is a dick move.

Just be honest. You can't afford the time off work or you can't be arsed to stay home. Stop trying to justify it.

Keep him home of how somewhere more distanced (like to feed the ducks). It’s massively antisocial to take an infectious child to a playgroup. Why would you do that?

It's playgroup, not nursery. I only work Mondays and Tuesdays, and am able to swap my shifts if I need to if he's really ill, so it's not that.

I personally would keep him home this week if he’s coughing a lot

A snotty nose does not mean they are sick. By your theory my youngest should only leave the house during a short window between February and March

I wouldn't take him personally then. Outside spaces where there's minimal things to touch, feeding the ducks would be a good one like someone else said. But I think taking a kid somewhere where they'll touch items other kids will then touch, when they're ill, is inconsiderate.

YOU know he's unlikely to be infectious given the circumstances. Other parents don't know that, and would be very cross with you for bringing him in.

If he had a long-term non-infectious condition then I'd take him anyway and explain the situation to everyone in sight. He shouldn't miss out altogether if he has hayfever which lasts months. But in this case, no. It isn't worth upsetting everyone.

Excluding allergies. I meant if they have something that can be spread.

As it's playgroup rather than nursery needed for childcare, I'd probably not bother going this week - but then again I wasn't fussed about playgroups when my kids were babies anyway!

I wouldn’t have taken my infectious child to a playgroup because it would feel wrong to me. There’s exposure to germs and then there’s knowingly infecting others for the sake of a morning’s play. It’s unhygienic.
We’d have had some time outdoors or played at home until feeling better and not coughing over others.