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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Excluded from work WhatsApp group

44 replies

Ontobetterthings · 31/10/2022 23:21

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. I found out earlier I am excluded from work WhatsApp chat. People were talking about someone's holiday pics and the chat etc and realised I was there and looked awkward. It was everyone in the office.

I'm on a contract, been there a year and got another 6 months. They constantly text each other in front of me and discuss their social media's daily. I gave out my mobile number a long time ago and no-one gave me their number. Its starting to get me down tbh. I get on fine with people. I don't know if aibu? What do you think?

OP posts:
Onesailwait · 31/10/2022 23:33

Honestly you should be happy. You dodged a bullet. When the inevitable drama happens you can sit back safe in the knowledge you are not party to it.

Keyansier · 31/10/2022 23:37

Sounds like they're trying to bully you out of the role to me.

mrsharrisgoestoparis · 31/10/2022 23:42

Count your lucky stars I wish my work colleagues would delete me

Original poster
Ontobetterthings · 31/10/2022 23:58

I have never had a problem before. I made a huge effort to get on there as want a good reference but it's starting to get me down . I don't think it helps the woman I am covering for is extremely popular. We recently had an event and I was the person that took all the photos of everyone. I wondered if I am being oversensitive.

OP posts:
Cw112 · 01/11/2022 00:01

I have experienced this when starting a new job covering a mat leave. The whole team met for dinner etc and I wasn't invited and heard about it later but they did invite the girls who were off on leave that I was covering. It sucked and until I got a permanent position it didn't really change. I just got on with it because I loved the job and in the end up we all got on great and it didn't really matter but they saw me as temporary to begin with so didn't make the same effort. It sounds like that's what's happening here.

Maggiethe · 01/11/2022 00:03

Oh god no seriously be thankful you don’t have work stuff on your phone…..

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 01/11/2022 00:07

You're not being over sensitive at all, it's a shitty feeling. However! Like everyone else has said, at least you can count yourself lucky you don't ever have to be part of their drama. You can also count yourself lucky that you're not a dickhead that excludes someone. Hope you're okay!

Iknowforsure1 · 01/11/2022 00:08

Lucky you, OP. The can continue with their clique, you’re better than that. Sorry, it’s a hot topic for me too. I’m absolutely fed up with the toxic workplace. Just do your work properly, then leave and enjoy your life.

Iknowforsure1 · 01/11/2022 00:08

They*

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 01/11/2022 00:10

Onesailwait · 31/10/2022 23:33

Honestly you should be happy. You dodged a bullet. When the inevitable drama happens you can sit back safe in the knowledge you are not party to it.

Definitely agree with this.

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 01/11/2022 00:13

Count your lucky stars. Keep your work and personal life separate.
Work cliques are toxic. Always.

MightyOaks · 01/11/2022 00:27

mrsharrisgoestoparis · 31/10/2022 23:42

Count your lucky stars I wish my work colleagues would delete me

You can easily delete yourself? Or mute the chat

MightyOaks · 01/11/2022 00:29

All the people saying "Think yourself lucky" etc, are you not getting that it's the principle of being left out and segregated from the rest, which is - understandably - getting the OP down?

OohMrBingley · 01/11/2022 00:43

MightyOaks · 01/11/2022 00:29

All the people saying "Think yourself lucky" etc, are you not getting that it's the principle of being left out and segregated from the rest, which is - understandably - getting the OP down?

Agree, the ‘think yourself lucky’ posts are hardly any consolation to someone who wants to be included.

It’s all well and good if you would prefer to sit at home, excluded, but that’s not the OP.

OP - I honestly don’t think it’s anything personal. Sometimes a new person can come into a team and - esocu

OohMrBingley · 01/11/2022 01:05

Sorry - posted too soon. Sometimes a new person can come into a team and for whatever reason they’re not quite seen as a bona fide member of the team. They’re filling in for X amount of time, until Y person gets back.

And so they’re not top of mind for other team members. Not saying this is OK. It’s pretty thoughtless. But I’m just trying to help you see that is probably not about you as an individual, or about anything you’ve done. It just so happens to be about the role you’ve taken on.

I don’t know if this helps - but essentially it could have been whoever had stepped into the role, rather than about you, per se.

Neves7 · 01/11/2022 01:54

Are you the only one on a short term contract? And is it a UK based company? Some organizations have rules about including contractors in work groups or work sponsored social events. Normally US based companies due to differences in labour laws have this sort of policy.

Original poster
Ontobetterthings · 01/11/2022 07:17

Yes I'm the only one on short term contract. It's in UK.

OP posts:
blippi123 · 01/11/2022 07:25

My previous job had a clique and they had a group. I wasn't in it. I know they used to slag ppl off in it even a manager was in it

Ive left now. It's probably better off not being in it. You'll get msgs 24/7 from work ppl. I wouldn't want that

HelpMeGetThrough · 01/11/2022 07:42

Bullet well dodged there. I'm on the management team in our section and all the other managers are in a WA group, apart from me, I wasn't invited. Zero shits given.

They are just colleagues to me, that I have to be with during working hours. My work and personal lives never cross over.

TeachesOfPeaches · 01/11/2022 07:45

It's fairly common for contractors to be treated differently to PAYE employees unfortunately.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 01/11/2022 07:51

TeachesOfPeaches · 01/11/2022 07:45

It's fairly common for contractors to be treated differently to PAYE employees unfortunately.

This. In my last job contractors were treated pretty poorly compared to Employees. Its one of the main reasons I left despite my contract renewal. Sorry OP, its shitty and I get why its upsetting Flowers

Thatiswild · 01/11/2022 07:55

I’m in the same boat OP. One of the staff had Covid one week and I didn’t realise and someone said oh yes and Jae and Mary too, ohhhhh are you not in the WhatsApp group? I said no, I haven’t been added yet, nothing. It’s hurtful. I’ve been there nearly a year but work part time. One person only works one day a week but she’s on it. Really sad! I’m sorry you’re going through this too, I’m looking for a new job and if you can think it’s only 6 months longer and you can go somewhere friendlier!

Runningintolife · 01/11/2022 08:00

It's not you, it's just being on a contract. Don't self exclude because of hurt feelings, just participate as fully as you can and build allies.

OneFrenchEgg · 01/11/2022 08:06

Omg bloody MN posters. Just been reading an 'excluded from Halloween' thread and it's all 'oh you're lucky', 'don't look at social media' 'oh it's not as fun once you're there' and now on here 'oh lucky you hahah' from people who could perfectly well remove themselves from these WhatsApp or social groups if they really wanted to.
Where's the empathy? Feeling excluded is shit especially when it's your kids or your work and you can't escape.

GnomeDePlume · 01/11/2022 08:14

Fairly normal for contracting IME. Work friendships tend to be fairly transactional. Everyone knows you will be moving on soon so there is less potential for return on an investment in friendship.