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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleeping arrangements for Christmas

58 replies

trebleclef101 · 31/10/2022 19:49

More of a who is being unreasonable . . .

We're staying with my parents for 4 nights over Christmas. They have 1 spare ensuite bedroom, and 2 rooms with double sofa beds that share a family bathroom. Me, DH and DD (7) usually stay on the 2 sofa beds, sharing a bathroom, and my sister (also visiting) has the ensuite bedroom with her boyfriend.

The issue this year is that DH is refusing to sleep on a sofa bed again. They are, to be fair, the least comfortable things I have ever had to sleep on. He says he would rather stay in a hotel, but that means leaving early every evening to put DD to bed. We live abroad and only see family once or twice a year so want to spend much time with them as possible. He wants me to ask my parents to buy a new sofa bed or he wants to book a hotel. I get that uncomfortable beds are crap, but I would just make do with the sofa bed, for the sake of 4 nights.

WIBU? How would I even broach this with my parents? Should I just tell DH to put up with crappy sleeping arrangements?

OP posts:
MeganCrossing · 31/10/2022 19:54

YABU big time

Book the hotel.

Id consider leaving your DD at your parents though, so she can be put to bed normally there and you then just stay at the hotel.

SpookyMcGhoul · 31/10/2022 19:55

I'm with your DH - an uncomfortable bed and a bad nights sleep is horrible, especially for four nights on the trot! Hotel sounds good to me!

Peashoots · 31/10/2022 19:56

YABU. Why can’t your sister have the sofa bed for once? I’d be booking a hotel. One night is fair enough but four is a lot on an uncomfortable sofa bed.

Topgub · 31/10/2022 19:56

Why can't you get the ensuite bedroom and your sister take the sofa bed?

orangeenergy · 31/10/2022 19:57

Why don't you tell your sister it's her turn for the sofa bed and you get the ensuite room? Your DD can still have a room with a sofa bed if she's happy but can use your bathroom rather the family one which leaves your sister still having her own bathroom.

latelydaydreams · 31/10/2022 19:57

Would a mattress topper help?

Hankunamatata · 31/10/2022 19:57

Offer to buy property bed for your room instead of sofa bed.

We have bed below that makes into a huge double and we brought proper matresses so it's incredibly comfy.

www.sofaandhome.co.uk/julian-bowen-barcelona-white-hideaway-bed/#item-options-8087

StrictlyJowita · 31/10/2022 19:57

I think it's fair enough that he doesn't want to sleep on a sofa bed. I've lived in another country and one of the definite downsides is having to spend all of your holiday time visiting people.

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 31/10/2022 19:58

Why does a seven year old have to go to bed early at Christmas let her stay up ? Take blow up bed

underneaththeash · 31/10/2022 20:00

You and DD stay on the sofa beds and DH stays in the hotel? Or both of you stay in the hotel and DD stays with grandparents?

just tell them that he didn’t sleep well last year (invent a back problem if needs be)

Changingplace · 31/10/2022 20:00

orangeenergy · 31/10/2022 19:57

Why don't you tell your sister it's her turn for the sofa bed and you get the ensuite room? Your DD can still have a room with a sofa bed if she's happy but can use your bathroom rather the family one which leaves your sister still having her own bathroom.

This, why is it assumed that your sister gets the bed? It’s time to swap around and you get the bed this year.

Sirzy · 31/10/2022 20:00

Can you use the money it would cost for the hotel to get a decent bed/sofa bed?

Beamur · 31/10/2022 20:02

Buy a topper for the sofa bed..much cheaper than a hotel. They can either store it or get rid after you leave.

MilkshakesBringAllTheCoosToTheYard · 31/10/2022 20:03

Stay over on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, get a hotel for the other two nights? And swap with your sister. AND buy a topper!

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 31/10/2022 20:03

Dsis needs to have a turn on the sofa bed.

SisterCassandra · 31/10/2022 20:03

Don’t get what the angst is about, it’s definitely Sisters turn for the uncomfortable sofa bed and I’d tell the parents so. Take a blow up single in for dd unless she’s happy on the other sofa bed. You and your DH have done your time on the backbreaking sofa bed!

rookiemere · 31/10/2022 20:03

Your DH is not being unreasonable. It's horrible not being able to sleep.

After a Christmas Day at SILs where I woke up crying because the mattress on the floor was so uncomfortable and I'd seen the horrible yellowed duvet and pillows because we had to make the bed up ourselves, I said I was staying at the Premier Inn for our next visit.

DH was all huffy about it but both he and DS ended up in the room with me.

Original poster
trebleclef101 · 31/10/2022 20:04

Fair enough, turns out I may be the unreasonable one 😂

Sofa beds and family bathroom are all on the same floor, the ensuite is 2 floors down (3 story house). I'd worry about DD waking in the night and not hearing, which is why I hadn't considered asking sister to swap.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 31/10/2022 20:05

Of course you should book a hotel, I would hate to sleep on a sofa bed when visiting my DPs or ILs ... and maybe four days and nights is a bit much for your DH to have to be with his ILs 24/7. How near is a hotel? Could DH and your DC leave early and you join them later? Or your DC just stays up a bit later at night?

But equally- is there a spare room with a decent bed? Why does your sister get that?

Topgub · 31/10/2022 20:05

Surely your sister would hear her?

Plus she's 7.

I'm sure she'll be fine.

MeganCrossing · 31/10/2022 20:05

trebleclef101 · 31/10/2022 20:04

Fair enough, turns out I may be the unreasonable one 😂

Sofa beds and family bathroom are all on the same floor, the ensuite is 2 floors down (3 story house). I'd worry about DD waking in the night and not hearing, which is why I hadn't considered asking sister to swap.

What would your DD not hear?

rookiemere · 31/10/2022 20:06

Why do they have sofa beds rather than proper ones? Are they ever used as sofas?

Red01 · 31/10/2022 20:06

We've had this before and got a memory foam mattress topper for the sofa bed. Best purchase ever.

Bentley123 · 31/10/2022 20:11

Could you have double room with bed and daughter in same room on a blow up bed? At seven I didn’t care about beds/comfort and liked sleeping near my parents

2pinkginsplease · 31/10/2022 20:14

We slept on a sofa bed for 8 years in the living room, we bought a mattress topper and I slept better on that Than I do in the big expensive bed we have now.

its 4 nights, either suck it up or swap with your sister. I wouldn’t be paying for a hotel.