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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this harassment?

38 replies

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:33

An old friend, who I stopped being friends with over a year ago as they were bullying me, posted a public social media post which whilst it did not name me, it is clearly about me. The post was very detailed, contained false information on the entire situation (massive pitty post) and mentioned some serious issues that this 'false situation' caused them to be/feel. I should note it's accessible by my employer too. I'm not sure if I'm sensitive to it all because it made me feel like it was a personal attack on me, but I feel violated. Not only this but I have received other attacks in the past, publically, on social media by their mum and sister as they have lied to them about the reasons why we are no longer friends. There are other things directly from the ex-friend that have happened in the past but I won't go into those.

Am I overreacting or is this a form of harassment? I feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder. Everyone related to this person is blocked on my social media/phone numbers but I can't help but worry what's next. I have been ignoring everything and moving on and just when I've forgotten about it all, it feels like there is something new. It's also hard to ignore when things are being made public for mutual friends to see. It's all very high school drama by older women and I'd just like to be left alone.

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 31/10/2022 10:39

How is it harassment when you have chosen to view the post/engage with the drama?

Diona · 31/10/2022 10:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

Mummieslncorporated · 31/10/2022 10:43

Ooh watching this one with interest. Wonder how long it will survive!

Diona · 31/10/2022 10:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

NairobiGal · 31/10/2022 10:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

Awkward

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:45

Hi @Diona I think you have the wrong person...

I don't use social media other than to keep in contact with friends. There hasn't been a post on my social media in years (mid 30s female).

Sorry if my post triggered you.

OP posts:
YungDumbThrills · 31/10/2022 10:46

Weird

Diona · 31/10/2022 10:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

IncompleteSenten · 31/10/2022 10:46

Crikey.

Well if the reply is not your friend then you should be relieved. Given you said you were not named it suggestd that your situation is not unique and people will not automatically know it's you.

Diona · 31/10/2022 10:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

IncompleteSenten · 31/10/2022 10:47

This is going to go poof very quickly but before it does, maybe say your friends first initial. That way they'll know whether or not it's really you

Sparklesocks · 31/10/2022 10:48

How odd that the friend managed to find your MN post just ten minutes after you posted it.

ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:48

Deffo following this one with popcorn 🍿 lo🤣🤣🤣

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. This was a previously banned troll.

Okay. This is very odd.

I'm gonna bow out of this one because you definitely have the wrong person. I actually lied about it being a mum and sister (it was other family members) as to not reveal identifying information so that has just confirmed we cannot know each other I am sorry

OP posts:
musingsinmidlife · 31/10/2022 10:48

Where did you see it? If they and their family are blocked on all your social media?

It isn't harassment. Just don't engage. Stop following their posts and live your own life. It doesn't name you - your employer isn't going to access some vague social media post from an ex friend.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 31/10/2022 10:48

Can I make an early shout to have this on mumsnet classics?

YungDumbThrills · 31/10/2022 10:49

Sparklesocks · 31/10/2022 10:48

How odd that the friend managed to find your MN post just ten minutes after you posted it.

My thoughts exactly 😂

Aprilx · 31/10/2022 10:49

How can a post about you, and one that doesn’t even name you, something you don’t need to read, possibly be harassment? Harassment would surely involve somebody repeatedly pestering you, following you, phoning you, emailing you etc. If you were named on the post and could prove it was a lie then perhaps you would have a case for defamation, but not harassment. You would need a very big purse to fund a defamation case though.

GreenManalishi · 31/10/2022 10:49

Halloween, is that you?!

ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:50

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:45

Hi @Diona I think you have the wrong person...

I don't use social media other than to keep in contact with friends. There hasn't been a post on my social media in years (mid 30s female).

Sorry if my post triggered you.

So how do you know she wrote a post about you then?

Yesthatismychildsigh · 31/10/2022 10:51

Sparklesocks · 31/10/2022 10:48

How odd that the friend managed to find your MN post just ten minutes after you posted it.

Yes, isn’t it. Reported it.

IncompleteSenten · 31/10/2022 10:51

Each post your screenshots with identifying info blacked out.
We'll be able to see if the stories match up.

Although let's be honest, this thread will be deleted with the usual message pdq

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:51

Gosh this has gone wild!

Maybe I used the term harassment too quickly. Not quite had the response I expected here!

Sorry all the drama is dead I do not know this person commenting we know each other!

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Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:52

ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:50

So how do you know she wrote a post about you then?

As I mentioned, mutual friends saw

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Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:53

Exactly. It has to be a troll surely?

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