Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this harassment?

38 replies

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:33

An old friend, who I stopped being friends with over a year ago as they were bullying me, posted a public social media post which whilst it did not name me, it is clearly about me. The post was very detailed, contained false information on the entire situation (massive pitty post) and mentioned some serious issues that this 'false situation' caused them to be/feel. I should note it's accessible by my employer too. I'm not sure if I'm sensitive to it all because it made me feel like it was a personal attack on me, but I feel violated. Not only this but I have received other attacks in the past, publically, on social media by their mum and sister as they have lied to them about the reasons why we are no longer friends. There are other things directly from the ex-friend that have happened in the past but I won't go into those.

Am I overreacting or is this a form of harassment? I feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder. Everyone related to this person is blocked on my social media/phone numbers but I can't help but worry what's next. I have been ignoring everything and moving on and just when I've forgotten about it all, it feels like there is something new. It's also hard to ignore when things are being made public for mutual friends to see. It's all very high school drama by older women and I'd just like to be left alone.

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 31/10/2022 10:53

Well this is odd

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:54

Rogue1001MNer · 31/10/2022 10:53

Well this is odd

Am I bring trolled here 🤔

OP posts:
ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:54

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:52

As I mentioned, mutual friends saw

Yeah, and knowing you weren't speaking and had her blocked just happened to tell you all about it. Maybe vet your friends a little better if they enjoy stirring so much.

IncompleteSenten · 31/10/2022 10:54

Looks like it. Mn have deleted the other poster because they are a pbp.

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 10:55

ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:54

Yeah, and knowing you weren't speaking and had her blocked just happened to tell you all about it. Maybe vet your friends a little better if they enjoy stirring so much.

Oh no, this was an old mutual friend who I haven't seen in years. One of those heyyy what's this kinda message

OP posts:
ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:59

So looks like you still have an active case here then and she hasn't found you. Ok so the post wasn't naming you and as I said you wouldn't even have known if another person hadn't told you. You refer to them as a mutual friend and may e that's the problem. Tell them you're not interested.

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 11:00

gobbynorthernbird · 31/10/2022 10:39

How is it harassment when you have chosen to view the post/engage with the drama?

I neither viewed or engaged with it. It was mentioned by an old mutual friend who I haven't seen in years. How can I engage with it?

Maybe harassment wasn't the right term. I feel harassed as I've had a barrage of abuse and now things being posted about me online. You don't need to be named for it to be harassment (or not harassment in this case) clearly as an old friend I'd not spoke to in years knew it was about me

OP posts:
Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 11:02

ProFannyTea · 31/10/2022 10:59

So looks like you still have an active case here then and she hasn't found you. Ok so the post wasn't naming you and as I said you wouldn't even have known if another person hadn't told you. You refer to them as a mutual friend and may e that's the problem. Tell them you're not interested.

I know, I have done.

I really just came here to vent as I've not really spoke about the whole thing to anyone (don't want to be that person) so easier to do it anonymously I suppose.

Now the troll has gone I'll retract my statement and say it was her mum and sister haha

OP posts:
slashlover · 31/10/2022 11:03

If it doesn't mention you and all the information is wrong then it could be about someone else.

GreenManalishi · 31/10/2022 11:05

If you're not named in the posts, the people that know you will know what the situation is and draw their own conclusions based on who you are.

The people that don't know you won't know who the posts are referring to.

Either way they say much more about the grown woman ranting on facebook, than the person she is ranting about. Thank your "mutual friend" for passing on the information, let her know firmly that you are not interested in spending any energy on thinking or talking about it.

Keep on keeping on. Every moment you spend thinking about this is a waste of your energy, and it only continues to exist for you and be violation and harrassment if you give it attention. Move on.

Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 11:06

slashlover · 31/10/2022 11:03

If it doesn't mention you and all the information is wrong then it could be about someone else.

Oh it's definitely about me, it details a lot of information about the situation but flips it as if i was the bully. Said person only had one friend (me) so it cannot possibly be about anyone else.

OP posts:
Navigatinglife2022 · 31/10/2022 11:07

GreenManalishi · 31/10/2022 11:05

If you're not named in the posts, the people that know you will know what the situation is and draw their own conclusions based on who you are.

The people that don't know you won't know who the posts are referring to.

Either way they say much more about the grown woman ranting on facebook, than the person she is ranting about. Thank your "mutual friend" for passing on the information, let her know firmly that you are not interested in spending any energy on thinking or talking about it.

Keep on keeping on. Every moment you spend thinking about this is a waste of your energy, and it only continues to exist for you and be violation and harrassment if you give it attention. Move on.

Thank you 🥰

OP posts:
Elspethelf · 31/10/2022 11:42

You’ve moved on and they haven’t. You were their only friend. Mum and sister are concerned about this person. It sounds like your ex-friend is dealing with some issues and you are in a much better place. I would be annoyed too but keep moving forward in a healthy way. You are right to ignore the drama.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread