To feel that DH is taking the piss

[flusteredmummy]

My 2 children come out of school and head straight for the TV.
Still in there uniform at 4pm I ask for the umpteenth time for them to get changed.
They both say they are hungry so set about making them some soup and toast and the phone rings just as the toast is burning ad I am trying to get them to get changed and get up the table.

Ignore phone and phone rings straight away so think it must be urgent.

It is DH asking what time DS 's appointment is tomorrow,which I have told him about 5 times.Cue kids arguing in the background,soup boiling away and still not changed.

DH says "oh I'll let you go you sound like you have your hands full"

You don't say!!!!

anyway 7pm and he is still not home .
He finishes at 4.30 can be home for 5pm.

Methinks he is relaxing in the pub somewhere leaving it all to me.

His phone is saying it is unavailable at the moment.
Good job I'm not.

Feel like the housekeeper/nanny

yanbu, me and dh went through a preiod like this where he thought it was ok to go to the pub every night after work and sometimes came back a little too worse for wear, trust me i quiced that into touch sharply!!

Sounds like most nights in my house.To be fair to DH he wouldnt be in the pub, just commuting. Said yesterday that I feel like a single parents and if I was one at least I would get a council tax reduction for single occupancy and wouldnt have to iron shirts!

ooh couldn't you just swing for him! suggest you down tools the min he walks in, grab your handbag and stalk out shrieking 'i am just going out and I may be some time. enjoy each other's company' and go to the pub. or to see a chickflick or something

mustsleep-how did you do that?

Normally will say when he gets in
"where have you been"

"oh just got chatting with so and so" he will say calmly as if that's acceptable.

wolveschick-he irons his own shirts so can't use that one.

missingtheaction-I don't drive otherwise I would.

Have got an important meeting tomorrow re DS so feeling uptight anyway .

It's just so frustrating that he can just decide what to do when and not be tied down.

The phone thing bugs me as well.

Am all reday to let rip and ask him to get his arse home and all I hear is that stupid message.

Oh my DH does this too. His crowning glory was one time he phoned when he was due to be out playing cricket. As this was his third night out that week I was fairly annoyed already by him. DS was screaming blue murder to be fed. DS had forgotten where his venue was and wanted me to google all the cricket clubs in Edinburgh to find it for him. I tried to find it couldn't so slammed the phone down. He then phoned back as "I hadn't tried hard enough", all the while DS screaming in the background. Grrr, grrr, makes me angry still thinking about it.

do you feel like a bottle of pop that is about to go off!!!Been there and still sometimes do that. Cheeky bastards arent they, yes he is taking the piss. Sorry thats not very constructive advice is it!

YANBU - give him a kick up the jacksy when he gets in.

OH MY GOD,UNBELIEVABLE

Just rang again and his phone was ringing this time.

He answered and I said

"oh hello,when do you think you will be home?

"I'm just in the middle of a game of pool " he says

I take a deep breath and say
"how long do you think you will be"?

silence, and then he says
"I will ring you later"

I saying don't bother just come home now and he speaks over me and says "got to go playing pool" and puts the phone down whilst I am still talking.

Now I am fuming.

YANBU i feel so lonely right now too and am tempted to go away for the weekend as i know DH has the weekend off. Am currently looking on web to see where i could go!

Whoops,forgot to namechange back.

Nevermind,DH knows my mumsnet name so won't do him any harm to read this and maybe the penny will drop.

Is he home yet??

bonkerz-sounds good.
It would be good for these DH's to have the children for a whole weekend on there own and see how they cope.

If I had the money would be off like a flash.

We had quite a stressful weekend ,the children seemed to play up non stop and when the children asked DH when it would be saturday again he just said "not for another 7 days thankfully"

sounds like a tosser.

dump him

Sounds like he heard it kicking off (in his opinion) and decided to go to the pub rather than come home and get stuck in. for you.

His phone being off is inexcusable. What if something happened?

allgonebellyup-not as simple as that,wish it was.

NAB3-you have hit the nail on the head .
He did'nt want the hassle,so will probably wait and come in after bedtime when all the hard works been done.

I always say that about this phone but he thinks I can manage and nothing will ever happen.

He needs to grow up!

MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How old are your children ?

One late night in the interests of making your point will not kill them.

I would keep them up, wait until he comes in, say am I pleased to see you and walk out the door.

Oh and by the way...........LEARN TO DRIVE imagine the exquisite pleasure of grabbing your keys and going. You could drive to your local JS buy a mag, and have coffee.

whilst I do not condone violence I would be so angry I would poll-axe him with his f*ing snooker cue.
inconsiderate bastard!

right then sunflower.....where shall we bugger off to this weekend! LMAO

My dh used to do this.

It's a power thing.

He is Making A Point.

I found that the more I got angry about him staying out, the later he'd stay and the more often he'd turn his phone off. It's like he was saying ... well, not LIKE he was saying, he WAS saying ... you're not the boss of me. You don't control me.

Childish and totally missing the point, but there you go.

So I changed. I stopped phoning him and yelling. I stopped accusing him of shagging around. I stopped phoning him when he was out, full stop. And I started making sure I was in bed and fast asleep when he came in. In short, I didn't care if he was there or not (even if I did!).

Now he phones ME on the rare occasions he goes out! And I've taken to saying that he hasn't been out for ages, why doesn't he go out, get out from under my feet etc etc. And he says he knows he can if he wants to, be he just doesn't feel like it. Now I can't get rid of the bugger!

Might be worth a try?

What a tosser! Am feeling lonely and cross too (hi to bonkerz on this matter). My dh is away for 8 weeks (back some weekends) - why is it that us women get lumbered with the majority of childcare and that blokes think they can just bugger off and play pool?

Bloody blokes.

I think we'd be much better forming women and children only households - sharing the care between us. Anyone up for setting up a commune?!

i will join!

Hecate - I'll second that!

I'm like that with my DH, it is a power thing. The more you tell them to go out they dont really want to !!! reverse phsycology

Women's lifes change for ever when kids come along. Men just think theirs stays the same.

Though my hubby is fab. I'll never forget his face when DS1 was born as it was as white as a sheet as he held our baby for the first time.