To want sex more than 4 times in 6 months?

[Kerri1987]

Have been with OH for 5 years now and have lived together for 3.5 years. I have two children from a previous relationship who live with us but spend a lot of time with their Dad. Sex has always been pretty vanilla and OH a little prudish but I have adapted to suit his tastes. It was always regular (often several times a week but sometimes once a week if we were tired!)) and he was always thoughtful and put in the effort to pleasure me. Two years ago I came off the contraceptive pill for medical reasons and we used condoms and female condoms for around 3 months - it TOTALLY killed our sex life… 😞 after switching to a different form of contraception, the sex has never picked up. This year we have had sex about half a dozen times and just 4 times in the last 6 months!!!! I’m not allowed to instigate sex, never have been, as OH find it off putting. I have to simply wait for him to put my hand on his penis when we are in bed (that’s the signal to show he wants sex!!! 😱) before anything starts. He doesn’t like discussing sex either and if I bring it up or say I want more sex he just says, ‘thanks for telling me. I’m sure we will have sex soon.’

Thank you everyone for your comments. I feel they have given me to confidence to know that this is actually not right and I should stick up for myself more. I liked one of the comments about trying to add more physical affection into the relationship. I’m also going to try again to talk and if that doesn’t work suggest some counselling. He had a traumatic childhood.

I don't know about talking or counselling at this point.

It's beyond a sexual mismatch or poor communication - it sounds abusive: no discussion allowed; he puts your hand on his penis to initiate sex; no other physical intimacy

I don't know how you can move on from this.

He's got some major sex hang ups. He finds it off putting if you initiate sex - he only wants it on his terms. Gross. I couldn't live like this, no way