If you went NC with a sibling did you ever tell them why?

[BlackSheepNotGoldenChild]

Afternoon. I hate the phrase triggered but have been reading the thread where the OP is NC from their sibling and struggling with news of her pregnancy/having family stuck in the middle etc and I am feeling it.
The vast majority of the thread is telling her she should respect boundaries and has no right to know anything from anyone.
My sister went NC with me. She always thought our father favoured me but in actual fact, this is far from the case - I struggle with him as much as she ever did. I never thought we would end up estranged, probably because of trauma bonding more than anything else (we shared a childhood that was difficult in places) but I genuinely did/still do love her and miss her.
Because I know enough about narcissistic behaviour and flying monkeys etc I have not pushed or asked others to mediate and I have tried not to ask about her (occasional fail when talking to our mum). I have respected her wishes since it became clear she was done. Before then, I had sent a few whatsapp messages at Xmas and birthday and asked her if she wanted to meet up one time, but radio silence told me everything I needed to know (no reply is a reply).

My hurt is that she never told me why. I have been left guessing. I could name all the reasons why I am a failed human being (you evaluate everything you are and aren't) - nonetheless, the lack of reason still hurts. You learn to accept it but there is no closure, and I cannot afford therapy.

So, if you went NC with a family member, did you ever tell them why? Did you ever want them to ask you why?

juniper
I don't know the answer to that. I was going to say before "I don't think I am a narcissist but then, a narcissist would say that wouldn't they?!" But I was worried I would come across as flippant.
I haven't stolen from her, I haven't tried to kill her, I haven't abused her, I haven't gaslit her. All bloody low bars though, aren't they?
The only thing I have done is not take sides in family arguments and I have never asked her to take sides. Our family history is not as bad as some here, but it isn't great. As the younger sister, I took more abuse off our stepfather than she did as she left first. Ironically, she appears to have forgiven him for our mum's sake. I have never made a comment on that.
As far as going NC with me, she doesn't owe me an explanation, but it does feel like a catch 22. If I contact her then I am breaching her boundaries. If I don't, then I can be accused of not caring. It feels like a bereavement, but she isn't dead.
Clearly our relationship was never what I thought it was and yes, choccrocface I did worship her when I was little. You'd think daisy wouldn't you, I could draw a line under it for my own mental health and I have tried. I am resigned to the fact that my parents will never apologise for anything, but I am not them.
I can be thoughtless, but I am also kind and I try to think the best of people.
With my sister, it feels raw still - I could send a blanket apology (points to all of me) but am not sure how my ignorance would help (if I am not apologising for the thing I am supposed to know I am apologising for). That I would see her again in a heartbeat for a makes me the idiot.

If I don't, then I can be accused of not caring.

please go back to what I said in my post - you are caring about being accused of something. You are ascribing meaning and emotions to something that may not even exist. Separate yourself from the complexity of worrying what other people think. It doesn't matter. Life is still going on and you're using up your life worrying what someone thinks when they don't sound like they care what you think. You, and only you, can choose how to deal with this.