We are on a super super tight budget since our second baby. There isn't anything I want for my birthday & I said to my husband just to take the kids to get some flowers & leave it at that. We just got him beers & chocolate for his birthday, as agreed. Thismorning, I open my card to find he's bought concert tickets (for in a few months time) for my birthday. He's also booked a hotel, as it's a few hours away. It is definitely something that is way more up his street than mine, & I am annoyed because it feels like he's just booked something for himself & disguised it as a present for me.
More importantly, i've been bringing up a lot with him lately how exhausted I am at being the only one who has to deal with the mental load/planning/worrying about the kids because he just doesn't give logistics a thought. Not only has he not attempted to plan ahead childcare before forking out the cash for the tickets, I still co-sleep & breastfeed the youngest. She is over 1 but never had a night away from me & I've always said that I'm not going to ask my parents to do anything childcare wise that my husband can't manage himself, and yet he gives up trying to get her to sleep at night after about 15 mins, & does not cope with night wakes at all & gives her straight to me. I know there is time for things to change, but I certainly wouldn't have even considered booking any trips away until I am comfortable leaving her & knowing she's not going to spend the night screaming. I try and follow a gentle approach to sleep but know I feel like I've been given a deadline.
Basically everything about the present has annoyed me and seems thoughtless but my husband is just calling me ungrateful because I asked how much he spent & where he was expecting the kids to go. AIBU