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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have used the baby changing facilities?

57 replies

poppingtje · 28/10/2022 19:14

I went into the M&S toilet area, and went into the door that said 'Feeding and Changing room'

I had my disabled DS (age 5), and my DD (age 9 months).

It took about 10 minutes to change DS, for reasons I won't go into but you can imagine the rest.

Anyway, I then changed DD who took just a minute max I'd say!

We then left the changing room

There was a woman waiting with her toddler of about max age 18 months in a pram. She then said to me along the lines of

'What was taking so long? I have been waiting for a very long time here...'

I said I'm sorry, I had to change both children. It did take a while.

She then said 'why are you changing him here? If he needs changing, why aren't you using the disabled toilet provided? Confused'

So I explained that I would've actually, but I had my daughter with me and I need the changing table to lay her on

She said 'Not good enough is it'

So I told her to find something more interesting to get worked up about and she told me to stop being so theatrical

It was awful! I don't like confrontation but it's a must 24/7 almost with DS

AIBU to use the baby chance for DS?

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 28/10/2022 19:15

Absolutely not. She should get in the sea.

CSR721 · 28/10/2022 19:17

She needs to check her attitude, you've done nothing wrong.

BattenburgDonkey · 28/10/2022 19:17

YANBU, I don’t think any decent person would think you were BU to be honest. Changing any child in that room makes sense and is it’s intended use surely.

No2coming · 28/10/2022 19:18

She was rude! Try not to give her the headspace.

Hugasauras · 28/10/2022 19:18

What a cow

User38899953 · 28/10/2022 19:18

You did nothing wrong.

Housenoob · 28/10/2022 19:19

How do people like this exist!!! What a rude woman.

Jubaju · 28/10/2022 19:19

She was a dick. You did nothing wrong. X

girlmom21 · 28/10/2022 19:20

YANBU at all. Most disabled toilets don't have appropriate facilities to change a child.

Her one child doesn't trump your two. If anything, it's much easier to change the 18 month old in the pram.

Nsky62 · 28/10/2022 19:21

Very thoughtless and selfish

Caspianberg · 28/10/2022 19:21

Wouldn’t bother me. Many times there is no baby changing here so Ds was just Mat on floor in regular bathroom and changed.

If the baby change was busy I would have just done that if I wanted to get in and out quickly, or if just a general change and mine hadn’t pooped I would have happily just wander around m and s 10 mins until you had finished

jumperoozles · 28/10/2022 19:28

I wouldn’t even bother trying to explain yourself if it happens again - just say it’s none of your business. Rude woman.

SerenaTee · 28/10/2022 19:31

You did nothing wrong, you changed your children in a changing room, she’s an idiot.

TabithaTittlemouse · 28/10/2022 19:32

I would have just ignored her. She’s a dick.

FlounderingFruitcake · 28/10/2022 19:34

If she was in that much of a rush then she could have changed her 18MO stood up or on a mat on the floor of the ladies, or in the pram somewhere discreet. It’s not exactly like you can do that with a disabled 5YO! You were fine. She was rude and entitled.

Needmorelego · 28/10/2022 19:34

She would have had to wait the same length of time if you were changing baby triplets 🤣
Some people just like to moan.

buttons123456 · 28/10/2022 19:35

What a dick , they are first come first serve . It takes as long as it takes ffs ! 🙄

I have a disabled child and I drop him off at a respite club which happens to be on a tricky road .. I often get honked .. I mean , really ?

Some people just can't think how difficult life is for everyone else .

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 28/10/2022 19:36

As an aside I hate places that combine changing and feeding because it's a pain when there's someone feeding when you want to change. But that's not their fault.

Chances are her attitude was more about the day she was having and nothing to do with you.

lochmaree · 28/10/2022 19:37

also changing AND feeding room, you could easily have used it for that length of time to feed and change just one baby! you weren't unreasonable at all.

OriginalUsername3 · 28/10/2022 19:38

The only thing YABU for is saying anything more than "mind your own fucking business." You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Not like you were having a shag in there.

CatSeany · 28/10/2022 19:38

What an awful woman! It took me a good ten mins to change my two kids sometimes, especially when my eldest was early 2s and just wouldn't stay still and/or there was a leak. There's no time limit on nappy changing.

SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 28/10/2022 19:40

Yanbu... if you were breastfeeding you could have been in there ages as well so she's being completely unreasonable and mardy

JuliaGooliaaa · 28/10/2022 19:40

She was horrible OP, hope you’re ok, that sort of confrontation would leave me feeling very shaky!

RoseLemon · 28/10/2022 19:41

Thing is, it's not like you're going to be in there longer than you need to be!! It's hardly a lovely place to hang out.

Ignore her. It's a reflection of her, not you x

TooShyShyShhh · 28/10/2022 19:41

When she said ‘not good enough…’ did she mean the facilities provided maybe?

How would you have changed your 5 year old in a disabled toilet though anyway? Weird of her to expect that to be possible, especially when you also had DD!

don’t give her headspace, she was just rude and impatient. You were there first and had every right to be there.

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