Regret changing my name

[NameChangeRegrets]

2 years ago I changed my full name via deed poll.

I was always neutral towards my original first name, but it's become a name that is so often mocked (even to this day, in media and by loads of people) it got to a point where I felt embarrassed saying it out loud.

My middle name was picked by my dear mum and I'm now using it as my last name as it's fairly surname-esque.

My original last name I changed because at the time, I had a strained relationship with my dad (we've since mended a few fences since the divorce but it remains a massive work in progress).

When I changed it, I was in my last year of uni (mature student) and did it in a bit of a rush as I wanted my new name reflected on my degree. The only connection to my old name is my middle name-turned-surname.

I like my new first/last name, and am neutral towards my new middle name (didn't really think it through as I was rushing for time) but it's used so rarely I think it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I hear my old name being used almost daily (used in mockery usually, but still) and sometimes it makes me feel guilty? I don't think I'd want to go through the hassle of changing back but a part of me feels like I've 'thrown away' what my parents gave me. AIBU to have changed it in the first place?

It's sad that your DH's relative's own kids feel that way about their mum's name.

I know a lot of people say it's just a joke or to ignore the bullies but I don't think they understand the scale of it. This isn't just something said by kids or people on the internet. It's in newspapers, talk shows, comedy shows. Imagine your name being the poster for something seen as negative. In a fantasy world things like this should have no real impact on your life but it does.

I don't regret the change per se. But there are some days where I feel sad for the 'loss' of a name I used to have. That's all.