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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping 10yDD in car seat 5 point harness

77 replies

Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 16:36

My DD has just turned 10 and we still use the booster seat with a back and a harness , although one of the bigger ones. She's small for her age and fits well into it and much better than with the belt, thus it appears to keep her more safe.

She's not happy however with being fastened in all the time and wants rid of the car seat as some of her friends travel without a car seat at all and all but one other uses a belt. Most are bigger than her and I still don't think it's the safest for them, but I'm not going to challenge other parents choices as some is affordability etc.

Am I being unreasonable in keeping her in the harness or should I relent with her peer pressure and let her have a backless booster seat? What do you all do with your DCs and when did you move through the options?

OP posts:
WhiteFire · 28/10/2022 18:21

OP There is some more info here.

www.childcarseats.org.uk/types-of-seat/booster-seats/

My ten year old is over 150cm, I had to move all 3 children out of the hbb probably early than I would have liked due to the car pillars restricting full extension (it was noted on the fit guide)

GlasgowGal82 · 28/10/2022 19:04

What car seat do you have? There are only a handful of high end seats that are safe to use with a harness until 25kg. The majority are only safe to 18kg.

Revolvingwhore · 28/10/2022 19:08

I wonder if some parents are trying to encourage the bullying of their child!

Hankunamatata · 28/10/2022 19:09

Are you sure the 5 point harness would take her weight in a crash?

Kimya · 28/10/2022 19:13

My 6 year old is tall and uses the booster cushion and normal belt, I'm sure it's fine for a 10 year old!

SeenYourArse · 28/10/2022 19:21

Oh wow! Unless it’s one of only 2 on the market harnesses upto 25kg then she’s actually been dangerously over the weight limit and much less safe! She’s such a good girl I can’t believe she’s put up with that all those years, my eldest is 6 and a half and been in a high back booster with car seat belt since he turned 5 as he’s pretty tall and although his seat harness weight limit was 25kg the harness was starting to get too tight as it wasn’t comfortably long enough. He was also at the stage he really was ready and wanted to put his own seatbelt on when he got in the car we just check it once he’s buckled up.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 28/10/2022 20:00

Omg! You can’t drive a y6 around in a baby seat!!! She’ll be driving herself in 7 years!

MsTSwift · 28/10/2022 20:05

To be fair it’s possible to get “stuck” in a stage and not realise you need to move on. Remember by sister came to stay and cleaned her primary aged kids teeth we were politely 😲😁 and she had an “oh shit they need to be doing this themselves really don’t they!” moment!

milkysmum · 28/10/2022 20:11

No my 10 year old has been way to big for a car seat for some time. If her mates see her in this she'll be teased for sure.

StillNotWarm · 28/10/2022 20:23

We were definitely in a high backed booster at that age.
And maintained that until their shoulders didn't fit. Then it was a booster seat for 6-9 months until they met all the points in the graphic attached.
DS1 was over 11, DS2 closer to 10.5.
DS1 is petite in stature

Keeping 10yDD in car seat 5 point harness
b8tes7sw · 29/10/2022 06:24

Jc1920x · 28/10/2022 16:56

Thank you for this information, I've neglected the height and I'm mortified. The backed booster seats still sit better on her lap, as without the back or with none at all it rides up her tummy a little, should we keep this type of booster seat . Definitely ditching the harness, and I'm going to be treating her for my mistake and her calmness through it all

Take a look here, I always find it useful: incarsafetycentre.co.uk/car-seats/child

tirednewmumm · 29/10/2022 06:28

I'm very safety conscious and think that peer pressure is irrelevant compared to safety but I agree with others I think you're putting her at more risk like this. I'm sure they're not supposed to be in harness once forward facing as it pins the chest back while head can whip forward. There are good Facebook groups like car seat safety where the admins are trained by car seat companies (don't listen to random group members like anywhere they can spout total shit lol)

Tort · 29/10/2022 06:46

StillNotWarm · 28/10/2022 20:23

We were definitely in a high backed booster at that age.
And maintained that until their shoulders didn't fit. Then it was a booster seat for 6-9 months until they met all the points in the graphic attached.
DS1 was over 11, DS2 closer to 10.5.
DS1 is petite in stature

I don’t think I meet all the points in that graphic at just under 5’ foot!

Ducksurprise · 29/10/2022 08:07

@Tort 4ft 11 is the height you need to be to not have a booster seat. My sister has had one since researching for child seats as she has seen how much safer it is.
Ally children had them until they were 150cm. For some this was 9, for my eldest it was 13.

TheLette · 29/10/2022 08:10

There is a good car seat safety group on Facebook if you need advice on a specific model. To be honest I think it's easy to make mistakes with car seats, despite the best of intentions.

CheshireDing · 29/10/2022 08:12

None of ours have ever just had booster seats. The just turned 11 year old is still in a high backed car seat with the seatbelt

a lot of their friends have used just booster seats for years but they are nowhere near as safe so we never bought them

Tort · 29/10/2022 08:13

Ducksurprise · 29/10/2022 08:07

@Tort 4ft 11 is the height you need to be to not have a booster seat. My sister has had one since researching for child seats as she has seen how much safer it is.
Ally children had them until they were 150cm. For some this was 9, for my eldest it was 13.

I’m about 4’11” and a half so maybe I’m ok then!

Ducksurprise · 29/10/2022 08:15

That half makes all the difference. After 4ft 11 it is more dangerous to be in a booster.

Callingallskeletons · 29/10/2022 08:54

Have you had to wrestle her in to the harness OP (I don’t mean force her into it I mean physically wrestle to get the straps on/closed etc) my DC is 5 (normal build but tall) and there’s no chance I could get the 5 point harness on them now

grey12 · 29/10/2022 08:55

trevthecat · 28/10/2022 16:38

What's the weight limit for the harness? My 5 year old weighs too much for our joie seat harness

Came to say the same

BookedOut · 29/10/2022 09:02

OP After about 8yo we compromised on HBB in our car but basic travel booster when she was out with friends (rarely, and short, local trips), as it was so much easier to transport and looked less babyish.

Dd2 has grown out of the HBB unfortunately (shoulders stopped fitting), but at 11yo she still needs a basic booster in larger cars, though the seatbelt etc fits fine in smaller cars. So there’s definitely an in-between stage.

notdaddycool · 29/10/2022 09:04

Since this is a thread on older kids and boosters. If there is any chance you will drive on the continent remember that their height for junking the booster seat is higher than ours so you may need to stick it in the roof when your kid grows out of it here so you have it for your next holiday.

gogohmm · 29/10/2022 09:16

We used a hbb from 4/5 until 11, they were short, I used the European guidelines of 150cm

stormelf · 29/10/2022 09:26

When forward facing it is safer for a child to use a high backed booster with the adult seat belt due to the pressure exerted on the neck and head in a crash. As long as your daughter is over 15kg (minimum weight for most high backed boosters) then I would move her into one of them. I am all for safety first over preference and have all three of my children rear facing. Once my five year old has outgrown her rear facing seat, or when her baby sister is ready to move into it, I will move her forward facing into a high backed booster. She isn't heavy enough or mature enough to use a high backed booster yet.

If you are on Facebook the group car seat advice UK is very helpful with many experts available to answer questions you may have

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 29/10/2022 09:34

My children are on HBB and a booster, aged 10 and 12. My DS hasn't started puberty and is still pretty short; he likes to be boosted otherwise he gets bad car sickness.